European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 7, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns smashing example of Canadian history culture by Dave Barry Knight rid Dor newspaper people often say to me Dave when you say you re not making something up does that mean you re really and truly not making in up the answer is yes meaning no i am not making it up. I mention this so you la believe me when i say that i m not making up the topic of today s column which is the heat smashed in Buffalo jump. The heart smashed in Buffalo Lump is an actual historical site and tourist attraction in Alberta Canada a major important nation boasting a sophisticated cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by Rabid beavers. A a Don t mind me. I like to toss out Little zingers about Canada from Lime to Lime because i enjoy gelling Mounds of letters from irate canadians who Are tired of americans belittling Canada. They often include brochures full of impressive Canadian facts such As that Canada is the world s largest producer of magnesium dentures and the Birthplace of . Fox big Bird Plato Elc. The thing is i like Canada. It s clean and in makes Good Beer. Also it has a spirit of general social cooperation that you won t find in the United Stales a Good example being the metric system. You May recall that a while Back we were All supposed to convert to the metric system from our current system of measurement which is technically known As the Correct or real system. The metric conversion was supposed to result in major economic benefits deriving from the fact that you the american consumer would suddenly have no How much anything actually costs. Take Cole Slaw. Under the current system Cole Slaw is sold in easily understood units of measurement called containers As in Gimme one of them containers of Cole Slaw if it s in a metric supermarket however the Deli person would say How much Cole Slaw do you want a Kilometre a hectare hurry up my break starts in five liners you d get All confused and probably wind up buying enough Cole Slaw to fill a wading Pool and the Economy would thereby Prosper. So the metric conversion was clearly a Good and when the government started putting up metric Highway signs Speed limit 173 Centipede americans warmly responded by shooting them Down. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United slates unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9mm Bullet. Meanwhile the canadians being cooperative quietly went ahead Anil actually converted. I know this because i was on a Canadian radio program once and the Host announced that the temperature was "8." this was obviously a lie so i asked him about it and he confided off the air that the real or fahrenheit temperature As far As he knew was around -10 the centigrade temperature was Al. But then his Engineer said he thought in was More like 50, arid soon other radio personnel were chiming in with various other interpretations of "8," and i was struck by the fact that these people had cheerfully accepted in the spirit of cooperation a system wherein nobody really knew what the temperature was. The Corri u answer is Chilly the Point i am making is that Canada is a fascinating and mysterious country which is Why we should not be surprised to learn that it is the location of the head smash Cal in Buffalo Lump historical site and tourist attraction. I found out about this from an Alert Reader named Sandy Lafave who sent me an article from the fort Mccleod tour is Greeler that explains the whole Buffalo jump concept. It seems that Many Moons ago in metric 14.6 Mega Moon North America was occupied by Large and fortunately very stupid herds of Buffalo. Certain Indian tribes used to obtain their food by disguising themselves in Buffalo skins and going from Tepee in Tepee shouting trick or treat no seriously according to the tourist Grec Tvr they disguised themselves so they could lure a Buffalo Herd closer and closer to a Cliff then Stampede it Over the Edge. That s where the Buffalo jump part of the name comes from. The head smashed in part comes from a native legend which holds that one time a Young Brave probable tribal name not nuclear physicist decided to watch the Hunt while standing under the Cliff. According to the tourist greeter the Brave watched the Buffalo topple in front of him like a mighty Waterfall. When in was Over and the natives were butchering the animals they found him under the pile of dead Buffalo with his head smashed even thousands of years later it is difficult to Ponder this tragedy without choking Back Large moist snorts of anguish. But some Good has come of in. The Hearl smashed in Buffalo Lump has been declared a world heritage site As Are the pyramids in Egypt and the Taj mahal in India notes the to urls Gri i la r. The Alberta government has constructed an interpretive Centre note chef Nelrich spelling where activities held. There s always something to see and do at the head smashed in Buffalo Lump interpretive Centre and this summer is no exception slates an official schedule. I have called the Centre and when they answer the phone they say very politely i absolutely swear this is True head smashed in May i help you Anil the scary part is i think maybe they can. Bargain Hunters May compare their triumphs by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners Why is it in poor taste to discuss the Price of things i am considered by some to be a miser. I like the finer things of life but i shop around to get them at bargain prices discount or 50 percent off. I do understand Why it s improper to discuss salaries because i have often wondered Why someone gets paid More than i and that can cause dissension among Peers. But prices would hardly seem to be in that category. Gentle Reader among sensible people How much they spend is considered to be not unrelated to How much they have. This is Why prices like salaries Are not discussed in polite society. However you will be glad to hear that bargain Hunters who regard shopping As a sport Are allowed to compare their triumphs among themselves. Dear miss manners what is the proper Way to serve butter my silverware and stainless sets both have butter serving knives. The Silver has individual butter knives too. My China and my everyday dishes Don t include butter dishes. I have a couple of Glass butter dishes but they arc not Nice enough to use with my Good China and Silver and Linen. And the butter serving knife will not slay on them. Whipped or folded butter is fun but is it All right with one s Best table setting gentle Reader if you Are seriously interested in having fun with Butler miss manners can t believe she said that you might think about Butler curls. An instrument with a Sharp rounded Blade can make fanciful shreds of a cold slab of butter and for that Mailer of your plans for the Day. All sorts of Odd dishes that need not match your China will do to hold butter holds pats curls or Sticks. There Are round footed Silver Butler containers with Glass inserts but any interesting plate that seems properly shaped for butter As you decide to serve it and which will also hold your Butler server would do just As Well. Miss manners suggests that you might have oven More fun scouting the sort of store that Sells old China and Silver probably under the pretentious name of Antiques to find something that will add to your table sellings. Dear miss manners being an older female executive i am in Contact with representatives of insurance companies Bankers salesmen etc., who Are 20 to 30 years my Junior. When we meet for our appointments in my office they offer their hands. If i am scaled at my desk do i stand to shake hands or remain scaled if i happen to be standing when they walk in it presents no problem. Gentle Reader my we have a lot of factors to play with Here age rank gender and finally venue. A lady does t Rise for a gentleman older people do not Rise for younger and higher ranking people do not Rise for lower ranking people. Bui in is your office and they Are visitors. Therefore you do Rise As the hostess so to speak. All of the above conditions except possibly thai of gender which is the least important in an office situation and can even be ignored although it would be a key Factor in social life where business rank is ignored dictate that you should be the first to offer to shake hands. However these juniors mean Well in their ignorance and it is a marked rudeness to refuse to shake a proffered hand so you and miss manners will Overlook the transgression. Dear miss manners arc you and i on a social footing arc we on a business footing How shall i sign off this letter very truly yours is such a convenient business expression but i Haven t read it recently. Sincerely used to be a sign off for friends but it has now been adopted by business and love remains appropriate Only for family and close friends. Fondly seems to have replaced sincerely Between casual friends. Recently i wrote to the adult son of Long time friends of ours who arc coming to our House for dinner. I said we would be pleased if he would come As Well. How to conclude my note sincerely no. Love no Way. All the Best Stow it. Gentle Reader slow in Madam please. Respectfully yours is used for August personages but miss manners is far Loo modest to suggest it. As miss manners does not have the Honor of knowing you and As you approach her in her professional capacity the a should be no doubt thai we Are on a business footing for which the appropriate closing is yours very truly or for variety very truly strictly speaking letters to unknown recipients i.e., dear Madam or sir should close yours sincerely yours is the conventional social closing where love and kisses is not warranted. The Standard hedge which seems to be what you Are looking for is to write yours alone allowing the recipient to imagine in what Way you Are his. September 7,1989 so Ripe Magazine 3
