European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 30, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Those embarrassing moments by Lawrence Kutner new York times  the 4-year-old Gill acid Cully saw hoi lather naked Lor the lust tune her parents took the Opportunity to Intro Cluck her to the physical differences Between boys and girls. The girl like almost All preschoolers was of a scaled. A lev Days later she and her Mother visited her lather at his Mollico where he was discussing business with colleagues at a conference Able the girl ran Over to her lather and. With a big smile and in a loud voice said. I daddy How s your Poms feeling occasionally embarrassed by something your children say of do is As much a part of being a Parent As be Elm proud of them learning How to respond when your toddler shouts look at the lat lady or when your teen Ager acts rudely in front of guests requires an understanding of Why children of dil Fernt Ages do Ihms that if done by an adult would tie socially unacceptable. For you Riff children like he one with the unorthodox Ujie Firu Lor hoi father there is Seldom if Ever any malice in their embarrassing Behaviours the child is wanting to please you by showing that she Learned something and made a  said Stephen Herman a child psychiatrist and an assistant clinical professor at the Yale child studios Center in new Haven preschoolers who loudly Point out a person s physical Handicap Are demonstrating their improved Power. Of observation and their growing ability to pm Pali a physical dil Serences and disfigurement make them anxious Lor they have lost the unquestioned acceptance they had As toddlers and have yet to gain an older child s ability to separate a deformity or disability from the person who has in. Ii in t that the child is trying to be cruel Herman said if parents Are punitive they miss an Opportunity to help to child recognize and Deal with that anxiety and to learn other ways of expressing  the Liming of embarrassing moments is Seldom a matter of Chance Lor it usually reflects predictable stages of emotional development or the child s growing awareness of How parents react in different situations. A child will know Hal when you re in Public or when you re with your Mother in Law hat s a Good time to try something because you re not As Likely to set lir Nils on him said Maria Mancusi a clinical psychologist with the mount Vernon Center for Community mental health in Springfield a it s not a cruel thing it s a healthy Way for the child to lest his Power and control similarly Young children have trouble understanding that a certain kind of behaviour can to acceptable in one place but inappropriate in another. The toddler or preschooler who runs through a supermarket opening bags of cookies or grabbing the Bottom Orange from a painstakingly assembled Pyramid of fruit is doing things that in the child s eyes have been i awarded in other circumstances. To a child Hal Young there is no difference Between eating from a bag of cookies in the Kitchen and eating from one in the grocery store picking up brightly coloured objects and playing with a Ball at Home often leads to att lion and applause. Adolescents in particular Are Likely Todo things thai parents consider  issues Are usually symbolic. Such behaviour As insisting on wearing Lorn pants or shaving part of the head helps adolescents differentiate themselves from both younger children and adults. Teen agers Are caught Between their desire Lor Independence and their realization that they arc not yet ready to live away from their family. Their Frame of reference for How they lit into the larger world has shifted from their parents to their friends and classmates. Doing something outrageous or socially unacceptable is a Way of establishing autonomy in the eyes of their Peers Many teen agers want to Embarrass then parents occasionally in order Lobo accepted a Ali or friends of a Jacusi said. Most youngsters must Settle fora few years of school sports. A sgt Schu Moor school sports few youngsters will make it to the big leagues by Randolph e. Schmid associated press or millions of youngsters the return to school Means football basketball and other sports learns activities that Combine the fun of play with visions of a future As a Well paid professional athlete for the few. Thai vision becomes reality in the form of careers in the National football league professional baseball National basketball association or other major league sport. But the vast majority must Settle Lor a few years of sport completed with the end of school sometimes the career is ended sooner by injury or coming to terms with skills too meager to compote. Many Youngs Cis have a greatly exaggerated idea of their chances of Success in professional sports researchers warn in one interview a group of youngsters asked if they thought they could become players in the Aba said they thought he Odds wore about 50-50 a far cry from reality. The National federate of slate High school associations estimated that about 500,000 youngsters play High school basketball. The Aba employs fewer than 300 players. At most 40 to 50 new players make these teams each year. In this season football is getting most of the headlines and the labor department has similar statistics for Hal sport. About 1 million High school boys play football the High school association calculates. The National football league employs slightly fewer than 1,300 players with 160 or so rookies making the teams each year. How about baseball the National pastime " not quite 400,000 High schooners play hardball while the major leagues carry about 750 players on their rosters it s hard to calculate the number of new players coming into the professional game because of the minor leagues thut  As a training ground. About 4.100 players ploy m Iho minors All thinking they can get into Iho big leagues most spending three or four years trying Belore they give up. Professional hockey is another possibility for the Lew with the skills and experience to play that rough game the National hockey league carries about 500 players on team rosters. Individual sports also attract lots of news coverage and can pay Well for the highly skilled and experienced but again the number of paying jobs is limited. The International motor sports association estimates 2.000 Drivers compete in professional racing of which to More than one in five makes a living from the sport. While there Are millions of bowlers Only about 150 manage to make Ilas touring pros a designation that has a minimum requirement of age 18, a High school diploma and a 190 average for two consecutive years in league play. For the rugged there is boxing a sport in which a Lew stars make millions by beating up the less skilled. The million Dollar purses go to no More than a half dozen fighters and Only about 150 worldwide Are in the lop ranks. Ring Magazine reports that thousands step into the ring every year most learning their Lolly in one bout. There Are More professional golfers with about 350 men and 270 women competing regularly on the tour. Bui Many thousands of others find themselves unable to make the Cut or bring Home Money from tournaments. Rodeo Tennis horse racing and other sports also offer career opportunities but Only or the most Able the labor department observes. Even those who find a spot in professional sports Aren t set Tor life. The labor department notes that Many careers Are Brief ended by injury or by a faster or More skilled player coming along. And despite the big headlines salaries Aren t that huge Lor the average player particularly for careers that average Only a few years. A big consideration while still in school the department urges is thinking ahead to a non sports career whether Lor the youngster who does t make it or for the sports professional who completes playing years having a skill to turn to is essential even the greatest athletes Complete their careers by the 30s or Early 40s the prime of Lile Tor most people. Page 16 the stars and stripes saturday september 30,1989