European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 08, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                A bus narcotics detectives discover daughter is a dealer by Ralph Blumenthal new York times something made detective Pat Degregorio do a double take on the ride Home that afternoon a year ago an instinct perhaps alter years of making undercover drug buys on the streets of Brooklyn and Queens. There was a crowd of Young people clustered around a Van on a Rural Lane in Kings Park , he swung his car Back for a look and the teen agers scattered All but one of them a tall Blond girl with Bow lips. At her Leet was a paper bag that turned out to contain marijuana cocaine and Ltd Degregorio had an awful sense of what he was about to see but still it shattered him to recognize his 16-year-old daughter Mary Anne in the year since the stunned officer stood there languishing Over whether he was now expected to arrest his own daughter Lor dealing drugs Degregorio and his Wile Barbara Adametz also a Veteran new York City undercover narcotics Del Clive suffered the torments common to millions of american parents whose children All vie Lim to drugs a Cycle of disbelief denial rage resignation understanding and perhaps painful recovery the Story of Pat Barbara and Mary Anne Degregorio. Extreme in some ways illustrates All the More strongly they say. How the most seemingly attentive and devoted parents and children can deceive each other and themselves Over drugs and How oven the most Well meaning a lords at parental education can go awry. But they say it also Points a Way out How honesty forceful action and Good therapy can help Salvage shattered lives. At Lisl glance the Degregoris might have seemed As immune to the drug pandemic As any family in the nation. For nearly five years from 1981 to 1985, Pat Degregorio worked in undercover narcotics making hundreds of steel buys that set up drug paddlers for later arrest and prosecution. Barbara Adametz was also a narcotics detective in Queens and met the divorced Pat when they worked together in the 83rd precinct in Brooklyn. At Home in Kings Park in Suffolk county Pat and Barbara s twin beepers rested on top of the refrigerator she d hear our beepers go off she d hear us making deals How we d set up said Barbara Adametz 36. When we taped the Calls she was taught to be quiet we wanted her to see All  her husband went even further. My daughter went to trials with me Degregorio 41, said i would show her the pictures of the people i arrested. No one was better educated than my  but somehow it backfired. Mary Anne Degregorio starting secretly drinking at 12, Beer at Lisl then whisky. She Hung out with older youths and tried drugs. By 15 she was a psychologically addicted abuser of marijuana amphetamines cocaine and Ltd As Well As a drug dealer and used the knowledge acquired at Home to evade detection she too worked with a Beeper i had a dealer and he had a Beeper she  used to be the drug dealer at  her Best Sellers she said were marijuana. Ltd and Mescal no like any other parents we saw things were not right her lather said. She was disobeying us. Coming Home at 6 . Instead of Midnight. She was t looking Good. She seemed tired All the Lime. My first reaction was the Ostrich syndrome. I said. It la go away Shell grow out of it " he saw it Mary Anne said. But i m his daughter. He said. Not my kid he did t want to believe i got  Adametz said it was More obvious to her. She would get the munchies All the signs she  but As the girl s Stepmother she Felt reluctant to be Loo forceful the ground was shaky Between us As she put it there were other factors. Degregorio s son Tommy Mary Anne s younger brother died of a heart defect in 1981 at the age of 6, plunging the family into despair and contributing to the breakup of Degregorio s first marriage. Mary Anne was All he had left Adametz said. He did t want to face her possible  even when the evidence became impossible to ignore the parents hesitated. Once they found an apparent order for drugs in a note in Mary Anne s room i really need something bad  she insisted she was just passing the note from one Friend to another. Another time they found some marijuana in the room. The girl said it belonged to her Friend Crissie. Bui their hands were forced alter Degregorio found Mary Anne with the drugs at the Van off route 25a in Kings Park in Early september 1988. He actually thought for a moment about summoning the Suffolk county police to have her arrested. Instead he said he yanked her into the car. Later at Home he flushed the drugs Down the toilet. I Don l have a problem Mary Anne insisted. When Barbara Adametz came Home later the parents decided the girl would either have to agree to treatment or get out of the House. Their resolve was strengthened by a talk with Tough love a family support group that advocates such Shock tactics get out until you get help Degregorio raged. I m leaving said Mary Anne. Her father demanded she give up her House keys and she walked out. Two Days later Mary Anne called but All she wanted was her clothes. They re in the garage her father said gel them out by the end of the  three weeks passed Mary Anne never came Back for her clothes Degregorio heard his daughter had dropped out of High school and was looking for an apartment. I m dying he recalled. I figured i lost this  one morning. Degregorio was leaving for work when he noticed a Light on in the basement. Investigating he found Mary Annex passed out under the bar. Crumpled up soaking wet like a rat like a  drunk she had sneaked in the window the night before. The father left her there and tiptoed out. Later he called Home from work and she answered. Of you re there he said trying to sound surprised. Then his anger erupted. You re killing me he screamed you re killing my marriage. It s not enough your brother died i want help Mary Anne said. He had heard about a substance abuse treatment Center called Apple a nonprofit therapeutic Community in Hauppauge ., where sex addicts trained As Counselor treated addicts and sought to break Down destructive behaviour patterns under a professional staff s supervision. He took Mary Anne there for an appointment. As it happened Apple usually oversubscribed would have one of its 100 Beds available in three Days Degregorio terrified of letting Mary Anne out of his sight until then kept her with him Day and night. When he went to work she wailed in his car outside the station House. She reported to Apple. Her parents left her with the staff. All three were crying. They would not be allowed to have Contact with her for at least a month. She would have to earn the privilege of receiving and writing letters and getting phone Calls. Based on his ability to pay Degregorio contributes $100 each week toward the $300 a week it costs to keep Mary Anne at Apple. The state makes up the rest. It has been a year since Mary Anne entered Apple. She figures on staying six months More. She is getting her High school diploma and wants to study fashion design. Or perhaps she said she would go to work for Apple. I grew up a lot she said. I still get an urge she added. I think i always will. I can t say i la never get High  but she said she was determined not to forget Why she had come there. I is Suu Tih