European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 23, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday december 23,1989 the stars and stripes commentary finally gifts Worth wrapping by Rob Staggenborg staff writer its an age old question one that stumps the most innovative gift giver. What do you give a Guy who has everything i have a better one. What do you give a sports Buff who has nothing gives nothing and wants nothing hardcore sports fans Are difficult to buy for. They Don t Wear ties. When they do it s usually a Bud Light Freebie or something in Paisley. While a new pair or Wool socks May be grand Tor grandpa they re of no use to hard Core sports  of All sports fans Don t Wear socks. Too much hassle involved. When they do they opt for those with the holes in the toe and Heel. The cop out gift would be a new cooler. Imagine How much use and abuse that thing would take Over the course of a 16-week nil season. You May want to buy two one for the first eight weeks and one for the last eight weeks and the playoffs. An ice Chest is too perfect. Nobody likes a perfect gift. That s How grudges Are borne. Look Long and hard and there Are gifts unsuitable for a King but perfect for a sports nut. A few of my favourites Dwayne Gre ski. An unemployed truck Driver Dewayne can become a hot conversation piece at any party because of his unusual name. For a week end tilled with lots Beer and Cool ranch doritos Gre ski will accompany you to a High school reunion the local pub and even take your daughter to her prom. Though he never played professional hockey he did do a few hours on the Midnight roller hockey circuit before a knee injury shackled him. Grutski 37, is an avid hockey fan who can recite statistics from As far Back As the 1956-57 season. He s the Type of Guy you always end up sitting next to in a bar. He never shuts up. Hell sign autographs but also for a nominal fee s Bourbon and Coke. Just Don t ask him Aboul hockey. You la never hear the end of it seriously. A Josie Canseco Remote controlled Lamborghini. Josie no relation to Oakland outfielder Jose Canseco hit pay dirt when his namesake hit the Long Arm of the Law. Distributed out of Josic s basement this Beautiful piece of machinery in Cherry red or optional Oakland Green will hit 130 Mph in third gear alone. Just picture the look of abject horror on you Mother in Law s face during the obligatory Christmas visit when this red Streak comes biting at her feet. Terrorize that Nephew who does t know when to shut his Mouth when the game s in sudden death. Extras on this baby include a working 9mm pistol on the backseat floorboard and a car phone to Call i 900-Jose. Traffic citations sold separately. Boo Jackson. Like Grutski boo has been unemployed for months Laid of from his Job As a character in a kiddie pizza parlor show. A self Prophic sized do it All. Boo will guarantee an .825 batting average for your company softball team. But that s not All. Jackson docs it All. His hobbies include spending Quality time with other people s families. Thai s his Appeal. Jackson an All purpose entertainer will become a lifelong Friend of the avid sports fan. He like helping your kids with their English and trigonometry lessons especially on sunday afternoons an monday evenings. Hell take out the trash on com Mand change the Oil in your car and Wax the wife s car without provocation. Need another Beer Jack son leaps into action before you be finished belching. The Steve Garvin action figure. Carved from the Mold of the real Steven q. Garvin an sex minor leaguer whose storied 14-year cup of Coffee in double a remains the toughest barroom trivia answer. Which player played his entire 14-year base Ball career without advancing past class a his painted on hair won t muss and his Collar is always starched. Push the Button on his Remote control an Steve will be hamming it up with your wife and kids while you Check out the 10-Minutc ticker. Comes with a selection of conversational voices. On one cassette Sieve will ask your wife 10 go out to a dimly lit out of the Way Bistro for dancing then Caps the night with a Midnight stroll on the Board walk. Other cassettes include Steve disowning your children Steve giving his i used to make millions now i m Flat broke and father s Day speeches and his i m never going to be president sob Story. The reds dodgers game got you hooked the celtics lakers going into of just pull Steve out and let your divorce lawyer worry about the  could ask for More Mark Tyson s Duke out new from Nintendo this one s sure to heat up the control pads. Tyson an aging out of shape pugilist has had enough. It s payback Lime the screen announces As your adventure begins. Make your Way through syringe Laden inner City streets in Hope of one Day reaching the comeback Trail. Your Luck is running thin. Your Glass Eye has a crack in it. You have no Teeth you suffer from recurrent nightmares of that Behemoth that took you Down in the i2lh with that mysterious uppercut. To top it off you Are incredibly ugly. Your Job is to March your Way Back into Contention. Armed Only with a pair of fists each broken five times you take on your sex Mother in Law in court. The oppo nent s Mother is next and she s armed with a High heeled shoe. The town drunk follows your sex wife in t far behind and scuffles with police arc sprinkled throughout this realistic program. The ultimate Chal Lenge go 15 rounds with the Champ. Death Penally. One of the decade s hottest sell ing Board games. Death penalty is sure to keep you up at night. You Are a major College football coach who inherits a team that is the most undisciplined in the nation. The team has players who make More than you do in a year and your freshman running Back is a Heisman candidate after Only two games. What do you do do you play it straight bringing integrity along with a few i to seasons Back to the University by cleaning up the program should you throw conventional ism to the wind go for the National title let your players rape and pillage their Way through Campus while you reap the benefits of a generous Booster club it s your decision. But remember the death penalty is pretty stiff no bowl appearances and no to coverage. Penally comes with a deck of investigation cards police files and undercover Mcaa investigator pieces. Give the gift that won t go away. Give Ihm Deal penalty. Or give them Wool socks. Just remember to tear holes in the docs. A town bombs eagles in shootout final by Rob Staggenborg staff writer Kaiserslautern West Germany the fat lady serenaded the Wiesbaden eagles Friday night. The problem was it was Only halftime. The Kaiserslautern panthers left the Wiesbaden eagles singing the blues As k town claimed the Christmas shootout Crown by pounding the eagles 110-94. Donald Robinson banked in 27 Points Alex Goodman chipped in 24 and Tony Marsh Sank 22 to Lead the panthers. Jacki Calmes netted 18 to Lead the off key eagles who were a note behind the High Strung pan thers the entire evening. The panthers . Team big men i Greg Merrill and Marsh controlled the a Glass each finishing the contest with 17 re Bounds. But it was a town s front court which mauled the eagles who heard the fat lady tuning up Midway through the first the front court led by tournament most valuable player Robinson and guard Anthony Patterson got Wiesbaden to cough the Ball up 23 times. Robinson led the charge with an 11-steal Outing. A town Money Man Shelby Brooks look an Early exit in the contest taking a trip to lands Uhl army regional . Minutes after the opening tip Brooks took a feed from Robinson on the break. The Ball went up and Brooks went Down for the better part of three minutes. The Leb anon iii., native missed the remainder of the game and his status for the rest of the season is Uncertain. We wanted to win this one for Shelby said Marsh. When he went Down it kind of fired us up. He s a big part of this team and this trophy is for him. Wiesbaden Center Lamar Oden suffered through a dismal first half netting 12 Points before leaving the game at 15 51 of the Sec Ond half with a deep laceration Over his left Eye. When Odin went out we knew they were going to come after us said a Joye Robinson who s 15-Point first helped k town build a 62-38 Buffer at the half. A town s 62-Point first half set the tone for the rest of he game though the Eagle managed a 56-Point. Second half rally. Harold Richardson playing for the injured Oden pumped in 10 second half Points. Marsh Asniw Rcd with 12 of his 22 Points in the second while Robinson stitched heroes for 12 Points in the final half. In the nine years the tournament has been held at a town the hosts had never walked away with a first place finish. Numberg. The two time defending Champion took to the exits thursday night falling to Wiesbaden 79-75 in overtime. Clutching his map cup in his left hand and gripping his title trophy in his right Robinson gave his to Ammaloo High Praise for their aggressiveness throughout the eight Day tourney. They deserve this map trophy he said. It shows you How much of a team Effort this is. When Shelby went Down we had Guys who came off the Bench and produced. That s a learn Effort for  a town dominated the contest Shack Ling the 1989 Usa eur runner up eagles with a Man to Man Blanket. On three successive in bound passes from the eagles Baseline the panthers intercepted the passes and netted three treys Early in the first half. Marsh and Alex Goodman hacked away on the Wiesbaden defensive boards. Goodman cashing in 18 Points in the first half. We be got Good guards in Robinson and Patterson and with a copy Harris coming off the Bench we just did what we had to do Good Man said. I m not surprised by the Way they played. They be been playing that Way All year. They played outstanding defense the whole game. That was a key  it also helps when the opposition Muff easy shots. Vincent Jackson Felt that pointed truth More than anyone wearing Wiesbaden yellow. Jackson could t handle three pre Cise feeds from his guards Down Low costing the eagles six Points in what became a 9-0 a town tear. Nervousness i guess Jackson said. De spite the loss he feels his Wiesbaden team is better than the one sided score shows. Well be there. Right now we re Young and we have some inexperience. Well be Back up  Marsh iced the Victory late in the second half with a 360-degree flying Dunk a move that turned this perversely biased crowd into raving maniacs. Adrenaline surge he joked. Oden Goodman and Brooks made the All tournament learn along with Leonard Thomas of Numberg and James Strong of Nord deutschland. Texas fines agents $10,000 for contacting Ware Austin Texas a former Heisman trophy Winner Johnny Rodgers of Nebraska and a Nebraska sports marketing firm were fined $10,000 apiece Friday by the Texas Secretary of stale who alleged that they illegally contacted 1989 Heisman Winner Andre Ware. Secretary of slate George Bayoud identified the firm As total economic athletic management of America inc., or team America of Lincoln neb. The fines Are the maximum provided by Texas ath Lete a genl Law and Are the largest assessed since the Law Wasena Clodin 1987. By imposing i desc record fines the message i am sending to agents should be loud and Clear Don t mess with Texas athletes Bayoud said. The Law requires thai athlete agents be registered with the Secretary of stale and prohibits agents from making Contact with a player who has College eligibility remaining. Ware quarterback at Houston has one year of eligibility remaining and according to Bayoud s statement has said he plans to return for his senior year at hous ton. A report released Friday by Bayoud alleges that Rodgers and team America tailed to Register As ath Lete agents in Texas illegally contacted Ware and offered gifts Cash and other inducements to Joyce Ware Andre Ware s Mother to lure Ware into signing a professional services contract. The agents have 20 Days to pay the fines or to re quest a hearing for an Appeal