European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 16, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Too Many toys can spoil the child so children on halloween they roam in gangs i lolling Candy Ircne gators. Throughout november and december they Are a a barred by television Commerce als telling them which a and games will be necessary Lor soc Al survival n Christmas or hanukkah comes Tho watchwords season Are Gimme Gimme Gimme my 7-year-old daughter got More things than she old said Waller s Moons a marriage and Foly therapist in Heights is time last year he said she had stopped Iyog with about 60 percent of the toys she had lived and he expects the same result this year. My wife and i Are both concerned about whether re spoiling our he added. We each make it judgment differently we Don t want her to Leel noved relative to her Peers but we Don l want to ome a rubber stamp of approval for everything she its " 3eing spoiled is More than just a matter of being nature and self entered All children have those trails to varying degrees nor i a matter of overindulgence. Indulged children know i boundaries of acceptable behaviour spoiled children not de patricians and child psychologists say that parents often inappropriately concerned about whether their Idren Are spoiled this is especially True Lor Young children who want to Ich everything around them and often refuse to share in new toys with friends or siblings a Hen they enter a store especially a toy store by immediately want what they see for children that 2, wanting to touch own and play with everything a see helps them learn the fundamentals of How the rid works what adults Call selfishness May be natural and Ven a Tive Lor a preschooler said or Charles l Empson. A prote Cor of educational and Counselor cology Al the of Tenne see at r them Possession is 100 percent of the Law " older children have already mastered much of the rat on to be a by c reply touch Ngar a p you can give children lots of things one expert says As Long As you give them time love and with objects they Are always in search of new experiences repeatedly ask.,13 adults to buy them things they must have a particular game or doll they say. But when asked Why this need is so pressing they rarely have a Good reason. This is a More sophisticated behaviour than it appears for it a Lovs children to test their Power relative to their parents and Oner adults and to determine the acceptable of their behaviour it is also a Chance Tor them to practice their skills at negotiating in a Safe environment a Friend May leave you if you Are too demanding a Parent will not our daughter puts a lot of pressure on us to buy her things when we go into a store with Simmons said. But the Issue really is her ability to coerce us into buying something rather than her wanting a particular item she s triumphant when we buy it " parents who fal to recognize that distinction arc most Likely to have spoiled children who constantly demand gifts from them giving in even when done with the Best of intentions creates a Paradox Lor both Parent and child there s research that shows that when parents Grant children s unreasonable requests it brings about More unreasonable Thompson said it also creates anxiety Lor the children since they still Don t know what can have a profound effect on How Chi Dren relate to their Peers As Well As their parents they Don t Chare things Well nobody wants to play Wilh a d or Bruce j Mclntosh a paediatrician in Jacksonville. Fla. Who wrote an article about what he Calls the spoiled child syndrome for the medical journal paediatrics it s a problem Lor the child that leads to problems later in life " of course Thore Are times when parents should Leel free to give in to a child s Heartfelt plea for the latest doll outfit or video game indulging children is one of the Joys of being a Parent Mclntosh said you can give children lots of things As Long As you give them time love and limits " ways to prevent spoiling your child new York times child development experts recommend the following things that parents can do lode Termine it their children Are spoiled to prevent them irom becoming spoiled or to help a spoiled child develop new habits one of Tho most powerful indications that children Are too selfish or self entered often comes irom i hair classmates at school. While parents May Overlook the problem a child s Peers do not. One s in of a spoiled child is a child who does t have said or Tom Falbo. A professor of educational psychology at Hie University of Texas at Austin the problem May be compounded when you give children items that you or they feel will win them popularity. Try not to use material rewards like toys to control behaviour. Children learn to use those same techniques to gain control Over their Falbo said find positive ways to Reward your children recognize that your children will want and enjoy a Gilt of your time and attention More than the Gill of an said or. O j Sahler. A behavioural paediatrician and an associate professor of paediatrics and psychiatry at the University of Rochester. Remember that children like adults value the things they have earned More than the things they arc Given. What children want is our Lime and Sahler said and the Chance to work with i to solve the problem of How to gel something that they would really run Ore d l 3 no than a Ron j arc Sloand Lonj cry. C pc a i and hit a la i d can gel per Conj ition9 res the caregiver or hand Lime Che change a d Aper he a a Toi it or before a food Are babes held whle led and not i bed with a bottle7 Doc the River play and talk to the babies in with the head of the Center ask Lions about the Stafl and try to i As Many people As possible. Most cutting in Day care centers occurs filing for example the suggested in Maryland for Day care centers adult to 3 or 4 infants and lers 1 -to-4 or 6 Lor 2-year-Olds 1 to j Lor 3-year-Olds and 1-to-8 or 9 for a Olds of course these Are wishes dreams in most Day care facilities e licensing guidelines Are much or. With 1-10-7 for infants to age 1 i i -to-10 for children 1 /z-2 i also re about the credentials of the stall Low Long they have been with the or. Finding Good Day care is a High priority for working parents. Observing the children la one Way to judge a facility. Y 16,1990 stars and stripes Page 15
