European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 10, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Sleepy in a perpetual fog. He was always he appeared to be nodding off. His speech was Barry seemed to be slurred 1 that was the turning Point for some associates pru6 bust h huddled and persuaded a few in barrys inner Circle upfront him. Shortly after that Barry checked into a Neversink n.y., health spa offering a program of Quot stress management and body  after Neversink one former top aide recalled Barry Quot was so Sharp it was unbelievable. You done to realize How slow he is until you realize How fast he  but within weeks the aide said Barry returned to his old ways seeming unfocused. In december 1988, he made numerous visits to his Friend Charles Lewis at the downtown ramada inn As police officers were investigating Lewis for offering cocaine to a maid. In the months after that Barry spent much of his time responding to reporters questions about the ramada episode which ultimately led to Lewis drug dealing conviction and to some of the charges in Barry s indictment. In 1989, As investigators pursued Lewis and Barry the mayor at times appeared engaged in work and mentally acute and at other times Barry friends and top aides said lie seemed distracted and preoccupied with his Busy daytime and nighttime social life. In the District building . Council aides joked about his late night activities and speculated about the Dale of an indictment. Quot it was almost a circus atmosphere about when he was going to fall off the wire Quot said one Council source. Barry fell off the wire on Jan. 18, when he was arrested. Looking Back Many Barry friends wonder whether things might have been different if they had intervened. Council member . Crawford a Ward 7, said people like himself who d suspected Barry had a personal problem Quot have to share part of the blame for his  it would seem some of the mayor s top aides were in the Best position to get him to face reality. But Many were so Loyal that they  question him said Many people interviewed. Nicknamed a dapple polishers Quot or Quot cheerleaders Quot they deflected other staff members suggestions that Barry had a problem. When the Media linked Barry to drugs or womanizing the loyalists echoed barrys staff Pep talks in which he claimed the reports were false and designed to destroy him top government officials said. The loyalists often arrived at meetings As if they had scripts one Barry aide said. Quot whenever Barry wanted to get a special message across they had their signals ahead of time and were supposed to move people in that direction Quot he said. Barry aides gave any number of reasons Why they avoided confronting him. Job Security was one. Quot it was not a conspiracy of since As much As fear that held them Back Quot one former a Esaid. These people were making More Money than they Ever had in their  some people who approached Barry about the substance abuse Issue said he turned cold on them afterwards using loyalists to Seal himself off from questioners. Quot if you brought it up too much he simply avoided you a said a government official. A former top political supporter recalled sternly telling Barry to Quot go Home to your wife and child at 10  he said barrys former Secretary Patricia a. Seldon told him to end his Tough sessions with the mayor because they were depressing Barry. A longtime Barry Friend and City official said Barry supporters protectiveness aided in the decline of a Brilliant politician. In years past Quot he could remember your wife a name your kids names. He could Charm the Ginger out of  but his old Friend said substance abuse changed that. Barry he said became a Man Quot on the Edge out of  Washington Post staff writer Marcia Slacum Greene wrote this article with reporting help from Post writers Michael Abramowitz. Karlyn Barker. Sari Horwitz. . Melton. Sue Schmidt. Chris Spolar and Elsa Walsh. I signed a contract with a House Painter the other Day. It stipulated when he would Start the Job and what services he would provide. If either of us was dissatisfied with the arrangement we would dissolve the relationship and i would pay him for his time and efforts. If we had sealed the bargain with a kiss in the presence of a minister a three piece orchestra and 50 pounds of shrimp cocktail it would have constituted a prenuptial agreement. I be always had a strange feeling about dividing the assets of a marriage before the vows Are spoken it s a lot like lining up the paramedics at the Bottom of a ski slope before you get on the chairlift. Not Only does it set you up for failure but it has All the Romance of having a parking ticket validated what it really comes Down to is insecurity on the part of the Richer of the two who in t sure if a mate loves him for himself or for his portfolio. Most of us come from simpler times where we married younger and did t have a pot to Cook in All we had was potential and that would t have paid for Arnie Becker s tie on Quot a a.  we tend to divvy things up in this country at funerals and divorces which May be redundant. Like scavengers we pick through the remains of a relationship that we feel should be bequeathed to us we fight Over boats and photo albums children and sports cars that May or May not have some meaning to us. Sometimes it evolves into a War where the one who ends up with the most in the treasure storehouse. Wins. I wonder if anyone Quot wins Quot in a divorce. How do you Divide the struggle that a marriage takes to keep it afloat when things Are Tough How do you parcel out the pain or does one get All of it is there any love left from the Good times to Divide equally or did the lawyers take it All and the dignity that should be yours to keep even in a divorce. Who got that the press and the tabloids and what Are riches Are they just 727s, Stock holdings casinos and hotels7 since there is so much divorce in this country we tend to glamorize it by turning it into a Board game it s a question of How much your investment in a marriage is going to pay off. There is a Price on everything marriage at Best is a Crapshoot. We never know who s going to change fool around turn mean or cheap become weird withdraw or turn into a bore but if you try to anticipate All these Pitfalls by putting a Price tag on affection and Trust you Don t have a marriage. You have a business arrangement. 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Stop in and save today stars and stripes bookstores stars and stripes bookstores co h it j3 co it z o co h 2j to m co cd o o 7s % o 2j m co saturday March 10,1990 the stars and stripes a a a Page 17