European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 5, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                As a weekend Warrior athlete would normally get when i played Tennis or softball. But these aches did not heal. They went from aching to the feeling that a Woodpecker was perched on my right shoulder constantly pecking at a knot in the right Side of my neck. Then the pain started shooting up and Down the spine then the muscle spasms took Over. One night i lost m0st of the Power in my right Side temporarily. I started falling on the Street my right leg just losing it. I have consulted More than a dozen physicians mostly specialists As Well As non traditional healers two acupuncturists one acupressure is even a pain hypnotist. He decreed i was among the 20 percent of the population that is not hypo sizable. The consensus is i have crossed Over into what they Call Quot chronic pain  i Don t want to hear that. I want it fixed dammit. If they can operate on fetal hearts sew Back fingers severed by subway cars perform open heart surgery As routinely As appendectomy is Why of Why can t they fix a neck that simply took a heavy bang pain has changed my life narrowing it As old age will eventually do. But at 49, i m not old enough to be this old. I feel like in the last two years i have aged 30. I no longer drive. It s too painful and potentially hazardous. I be let my License expire. I be been to one Broadway show and one movie since the Accident. It is too painful to sit in a seat for two hours especially at night when i have been up part of the Day. Ditto for museums Art galleries concerts and All the other reasons one chooses to live in new York City. I cannot read for Long periods at a time. Doing dishes is a killer but a necessity. Ironing is out. I Don t Wear anything that needs to be ironed. I rarely Wear my Contact lenses anymore. The neck movement to put them in and take them out is a painful one. I be not bought any clothes since the nov. 13,1987, fall. It s too painful to try them on. I tried shopping once but the pain became overpowering and i raced Home to a Manhattan apartment that has now become my workplace most of the time. It seems silly. I live 20 blocks from my office but it costs too much in pain to go in to the office every Day. It is More productive and less painful but lonely and isolated to work from Home. With today s computer technology its possible. Its the Little things that defeat my spirit. Routine tasks have become minefields waiting to explode the pain. Pulling on pantyhose and boots could be the worst mistake of the Day. Brushing my Teeth it always hurts. Why washing my hair under a hot Shower hurts is the biggest mystery. That should feel Good but it does t. I see movies now on my Var. In be also Learned that people even close friends just Are incapable of understanding something As foreign As this kind of Captivity. They constantly ask if in be seen the latest movie. Or eagerly recommend one. I have explained for a million times that i done to go to movies. They ask incredulously for the Millionth time How could sitting in a movie bother me what do you say nothing. Eventually you done to explain. Yes i could go to a movie if that was the Only plan of the Day. Its just that too Many other things take priority. Working fixing food getting dressed running errands going to the supermarket writing checks dumping garbage. Before the fall i usually took care of household chores in a White Tornado fashion food shopping laundry and apartment cleaning All in one Day usually finishing by 3 . I usually went out four or five times a week either to a i a have Learned a lot about pain. It can drive you crazy by its constancy. Play a movie dinner at someone a Home or a restaurant nothing dramatic. I frequently was a weekend guest at country Homes of friends. I sailed. I often walked two Miles to work through Central Park. Now in a mostly an isolated homebody. I m Lucky i have a single Friend left. I have cancelled More appointments than in be kept. My pain has caused me to budget my activities the Way a person existing on a limited fixed income shops. My a income Quot is the ability to stand or sit up straight to do anything that requires flexion the ability to look Down to concentrate without the overwhelming distraction of pain. In Short to function. I manage my pennies of Energy carefully. Going out at night is a lavish expenditure. New companions in addition to the cervical Collar Are the moist heating pad the old sock with three Tennis balls inside the better to get the heat on the spot where theto your health pain likes to sear jars and jars of Mineral ice a remedy that works something like putting medication on a tooth that really needs dental attention. Its help is Short lived but i la take it. I be Learned a lot of tricks some vetoed by the doctors. One is to drive the Back of my head into the living room carpet with All my might it seems to get something off of something trouble is the sophisticated tests Don t show anything on anything. I m betting on my body not technology the other is to Hunker Down put All my weight on the balls of my feet and stretch out the whole spine. That helps too for no apparent medical reason i have Learned a lot about pain. One it can drive you crazy even in Small amounts by its constancy. Two it can drive you to question your sanity when it lifts. When pain is gone for some mysterious reason so is the memory of it. You immediately begin thinking you made it All up or More ominously that its not coming Back. I still fall for that i guess it s a tribute to the elasticity of the human spirit. Its also pretty stupid three its not Nice to fool Mother nature distraction therapy works temporarily. While it May be Good for the psyche pain will get the last laugh you pay the Piper if you push the body beyond where it is ready to go it is better to cooperate. When it says this is going to be a bad Day believe it. Rest it. The next Day will be better four pain is tiring. Five. Pain is not one entity. It is an orchestra sometimes featuring a soloist sometimes Many instruments. My worst pain is the searing pain right along the right Side of the vertebrae. It can be razor Sharp with each step digging in. There is the shooting pain Down my right Arm. Often causing ersatz numbness in my fingers. Its not total numbness. Its More like the sensation you have when the novocaine is wearing off. You feel something but not everything. There is the Stab of the muscle spasms the ache of soreness sometimes Dull sometimes acute always persistent. Twice a week i go to physical therapy where i am to rationed Ultra sounded electronically stimulated i spend a few minutes every hour exercising i am surely by now a contender for a mention in the guinness Book of world records for the most shoulder Rolls completed i will not share All the advice i be been Given. You can imagine it. One i must. A new Ager among my acquaintances told me this a mitigating pain was a wonderful Opportunity for spiritual growth. Fortunately she was on the other end of the Telephone out of Range of my rage. The one piece of advice i will never take is that i must quit fighting that i must accept the pain. I will never give up. I will get rid of it. In Luck o h it o o cd co Luck e h-c0 q z it <0 stars and stripes bookstores stars and stripes bookstores summer of 49 is a top 10 paperback selection for the month of june. Each month you la find ten popular paperback titles discounted 10% from the regular cover Price available at your stars and stripes Bookstore. Stop in and save with a top 10 paperback title today summer of 49 a the year was 1949, and a War wearied nation turned from the battlefields to the Ball Fields in search of new heroes. It was a summer that marked the beginning of a sports rivalry unequalled in the annals of athletic Competition. The awesome new York Yankees and the indomitable Boston red sox were fighting for supremacy of baseball s american league and an aging Joe Dimaggio and a Brash Headstrong hitting phenomenon named Ted Williams led their respective teams in a classic Pennant Duel of almost mythic proportions a one that would be decided in an explosive head to head confrontation on the last Day of the season. You can save Money every Day at your stars and stripes Bookstore. You ii find stars and stripes bookstores Well stocked with numerous Magazine paperback and hardcover titles All discounted for you. In customer savings in fiscal 1990 already total More than $1 million. Stars and stripes bookstores stars and stripes bookstores tuesday june 5, 1990 the stars and stripes Page 17