European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 15, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Never turn 40 Russell Baker ave Barry the humor columnist has turned 40. The news is pm i bedded in the Best seller charts with a Book titled a Dave Barry turns 40�?� by Dave Barry. It proves that some columnists will do anything to get material. Their agents would probably ask a and Why not especially if they can parlay it into a Best seller Quot Well ill Tell you Why not you greedy agents. And ill Tell you too old Dave Barry. Because there is such a thing As loyalty to the Reader in the column business that a Why. Of sure there arc also such things As grammar spelling the occasional idea and eschewing tautology redundancy and ambiguity As Well As writing a column every six months or so that a Worth Reading All the Way to the end. But none of that a Worth a Hill of Beans without loyalty to the Reader. And one thing no columnist should Ever do to his readers even for the Sake of getting on the Best seller list is turn 40. A few years ago an editor tried tempting me to turn 40. The reason nobody read my column he said was that it read As if it were written by a 15-year-old. A Why done to you announce you be just turned 40?&Quot he suggested. A but that would be a lie Quot a but think How depressed it would make you feel. Imagine 40 years old. Talk about de prussion pretty soon you a Start analysing gof Baches Congress and mrs. Bush s commencement speeches. Next thing you know you a have readers a columnist could boast  i threw that editor out of my office. Not however before i gave him a piece of my mind. A you ought to be ashamed of yourself a i said a asking a 29-year-old to lie about his age just to attract readers. That a tantamount to trying to corrupt the Young a Twenty nine hah a he cried As he tumbled Down the Steps. A Twenty inc year Olds done to have 11  he was referring to several recent columns of mine about grandchildren. As noted above a columnist will do any number of things to get material and i in order to produce some cob urns about grandchildren which seem to be having a Brief Vogue had borrowed several tykes. Dave Barry later said that this was part of a scheme of mine to head him off at the bookshop with a work titled a Russell Baker turns 80,�?� but he has apologized after meeting me. He did ask if i had Ever considered aging a bit. Not much i told him. Thirty nine had been Good enough for Jack Benny until the Day he died. Someday i May turn 39 myself but i have no plans to do so anytime soon. It was already widely known in column zing circles that Dave was toying with the idea of turning 40.1 was tempted to advise him against it but decided to keep quiet figuring it would look arrogant for a person my age to be Advt ing an old fellow like Barry. Now that he a done it of course he has set himself up to do a Nice sequel. Something like a having turned 40, Dave Barry saying this is the dumbest move i Ever made a turns Back to 39.&Quot of course publishers will say the title needs work but what do publishers know with a Nice Long title you can run it through 50 or 60 inside pages and not have to write so much Small print stuff. As a Reader myself i say give it to me All in the title so i can get Back to the to before my eyes Wear out. Still its doubtful Dave can get Back to 39 now. Once you turn 40 you be had it As far As the Public is concerned. It gives them the chills seeing somebody suddenly slip Over the horizon toward old age. And that a what 40 is Dave. The first slip below the horizon that takes you out of the land where not to be Young is embarrassing. It behoves a columnist not to Burden his readers with melancholy thoughts that uncouth May happen to them All. We column Zers speak to masses who 20 years ago said a never Trust anyone Over 30.�?� they have upped the Trust line to 40. Does this mean that in 20 years americans have become Only 10 years older not at Alt. All it Means is that this is a land where millions get the creeps at the thought of turning 40. That a Why i wont do it. It would be disloyal to the Reader. New York times Centrepiece contents Mark Twain a Mississippi tales got a boost from Germany a Neckar River. Reporter Ron Jensen explains How and Why. Pages 6-7. Back Home. 2 be Wise never turn 40 stateside views .3 Light look at what s almost news observations. 4 memories of Home and a secret weapon what was your favorite duty station trends. 5 americans views on wealth a Quot babe Ruth still King of the Diamond books. 8-9 chinese dissidents Tell their tales pow opera hits the comics science and the world.10 proof found that whales had legs at a glance Iceland Odds amp ends.11 the Rock everyone s talking about i  manners and Horoscope last laugh. N Dave Barry cartoons from around the world what constitutes wealth in America and who wants it Page 5. Bette Bao lord tells what is going on behind China a Walls. Page 8. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes. Editor John Taylor Art director Sharon Kilday production Lisa Williams Denise Adams Page 2 c sunday july 15. 1990