European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 15, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Outraged Over Dave Barry knig til Ridder newspapers speaking on behalf of All the Guys in the world except possibly Phil Donahue i want to say that i am really ticked off about the results of this recent poll of women. You probably read about it. The Roper organization asked 3,000 women the following question Quot do you agree that the average Man today is a Lazy selfish opinionated egotistical sex crazed tub of crud who never thinks about anybody but himself and refuses to help with childbearing or housework and wants to go to bed with practically every woman he meets who is not legally his grandmother and tends to have the same annual output of natural Gas As Montana a eighty seven percent of the women agreed with this. The other 13 percent noted that men also pick their noses at stoplights. By scientifically analysing these results we can conclude that women do not appear to have a High opinion of men. This is unfair. Of sure men in the past have displayed certain unfortunate behaviour patterns that tended to produce unhappy relationships world wars Etc. But today a Man is different. Today a Man knows that he a supposed to be a sensitive and caring relationship partner and / he a making Radical lifestyle changes such As sometimes remembering to remove the used tissue wads from his pockets before depositing his pants on the floor to be picked up by the laundry fairy. And so Here we men Are making this kind of. Extreme sacrifice and wham the Roper organization hits us with the fact that women still think we re jerks. This really bums my briefs. I mean id like you women to Stop and think for a moment about what this world would be like without men. Think of the vast array of cultural and scientific achievements you a have to do without including a football a professional football a ear hair a betting on football the list just goes on and on. And lets talk about menus alleged obsession with sex. Do you women think that men Are just animals do you really think that All they want to do is get you into bed wrong a lot of Guys especially in bars would be Happy to get you into a phone Booth or right there on the bar Quot nobody will notice us a the Guy will say being suave. A a they re watching a wheel of a a but that does t mean All Guys Are like that. There arc countless examples of Guys who think about things besides sex. The Guys on the . Supreme court for example think about important constitutional issues As is shown by this transcript from recent court deliberations chief Justice William h. Rehnquist whoa get a Load of the torts on that plaintiff associate Justice Byron r. White Dies and i am particularly outraged by the charge that Guys never help out around the House. I happen to be a Guy and often when my wife goes away i assume total responsibility for the household and my wife has such Confidence in. A amps Sharon Killday me that she will often wait for an entire half hour before she Calls my wife is everything of me Fine my wife is Robert of me Robert my wife our child. Me is Robert Here my wife likes to give me these helpful reminders from time to time because once she went away for several Days and when she got Home she determined that All Robert had eaten the entire time was chocolate easter Bunny Heads. But other than that i am very Strong in the homemaking department the kind of Guy who if he gets cheer Wiz on the sofa will squirt some windex in it without even having to be told. So come on women. Stop being so harsh on us Guys and Start seeing past our Macho hairy exteriors into the sensitive thoughtful and a yes a vulnerable individuals that we Are deep Down inside. And while you re at it fix us a Sandwich. Ii Coral Belgrade Yugoslavia throughout his career Pitcher Gaylord ferry persistently denied he doctored pitches with vaseline. One sports reporter recalls covering a game in which one of Perry a pitches was fouled off. The Ball hit the press Box window and Leff a Greasy Blotch on the Glass. Convinced he finally had evidence of Perry a mischief the reporter asked him to explain. Quot Well a Perry drawled a must have hit a Mosquito on the Way Cleveland indians Catcher Sandy Alomar jr., after committing two passed balls and dropping 10 other pitches from Tom Candiotti a if you want to know How it feels to catch the Knuck Zeball ask the Backstop not How Tough is the third Hole at medi nah 111. Country club where the . Open was played this summer one player claims the Green is Quot about the size of of Ronald Reagan s san Francisco chronicle ii Williams London England a s Quot in a still 12 c sunday july 15, 1990 copyright 01990. Cartoonists amp writers Syndicate
