European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 17, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns a first a it a 4-./ it a i a a a r Tom Wicker presidential passion with Mideast a mistake if Henry Kissinger were not very much alive lie would be rolling Over in his grave Al president Bush a decision to let the soviet Union involve itself in Middle East peace efforts a a possibility that in cold War Days Kissinger opposed with theological intensity. With equal Fervour Many americans despise terrorism. They must be thunderstruck to Sec Secretary of state Baker Oil to Damascus for amicable talks with president male Al Assad even though the Bush administration holds Syria responsible for the bombing of pan am 103, and other notorious acts. These Are striking examples of the extent to which Bush a even if he did maintain his vacation schedule a has placed the iraqi invasion of Kuwait and his determination to reverse it at the top of his administrations priorities. They May be defensible decisions with the cold War Over and Assad sending troops to help defend saudi Arabia but is the crisis m the desert really the most important problem facing americans not at All. West Germany and the soviet Union for instance now have agreed on How to share the costs of soviet troop withdrawals from East Germany so German reunification actually will take place on oct. 3, less than three weeks from now. In the Long run. This might be the most important event of 1990, or the coming decade but its taking place in a vacuum of Public and perhaps official discussion owing to the Middle East frenzy created by a dedicated administration and a Hartline Happy press. Only five weeks ago the major topics of american political discussion were the nomination of David Souter to the supreme court the $50 billion savings and loan scandal that made Neil Bush a household name an Economy that even an upbeat president called a sluggish a his broken pledge to oppose new taxes and efforts to Deal with the budget deficit. None of these matters have disappeared or been managed. Though Senate hearings on Souter Are being held All have taken second place to the idea of no time for a Mirage w. To amp oif poor pts Rattz the United states standing tall in the desert in opposition to aggression and in defense of Oil. Its not Clear which comes first and both Are admittedly important but so Are other problems that existed before Saddam Hussein loosed his tanks a problems that will not be solved by More troops from Egypt or More presidential backs lapping in Helsinki Finland. In keeping to his August vacation schedule Bush sought to show that he was not hostage to the Middle East crisis As president Carter was thought to have been when Iran was holding . Hostages. Staying in Maine thus made some sense though with Oil supplies supposedly in danger the president at least could have beached his Gas guzzling speedboat. In fact Bush a single minded attention to the iraqi problem however successful his efforts May have made him As much a hostage to a single Issue As Carter was. In particular that sluggish . Economy and the dubious determination of democrats and republicans alike to raise taxes anyway demands Bush a attention As much As does the Middle East. An economic collapse at Home would make a major military commitment abroad incongruous if not impossible even with saudi Money As a backup. And what would distinguish one supposed superpower from another if each tried to maintain a military front on top of an Economy sliding into ruin it has largely escaped notice moreover in americans persistent innocence of even their own history that Bush has reverted to the sort of Imperial presidential conduct that the Vietnam War should have taught the nation to question. Its True that he has kept Congress informed about his Middle East policy but the strategy decisions and announced goals All have been his including one that could backfire a to expel Iraq from Kuwait and restore the emirate. Few now dispute that goal but suppose Iraq suddenly withdraws from Kuwait contradicting Saddam but apparently bowing to overpowering opposition As Well As to Bush a demands. That would bring about the end of the blockade the embargo and the anti Iraq coalition Force Bush to bring . Troops Home and leave Iraq unscathed As a military Power a perhaps having defied the United states and the world without real loss even enhanced As a dominant voice in the Middle East. Bush a Imperial crisis management might not then seem so impressive both Congress and the Public might ask some embarrassing questions such As who was the real Winner and who took the United states out on a limb that could be Cut off behind it new York time James j. Kilpatrick no ringing endorsement for fiendish phone in March 1876, so the Story goes Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. This was a serious mistake. The time has come to Correct Belles monumental Folly. Let us begin by junking All existing Telephone systems and getting Back to writing letters instead. The proposal will disturb some people of course notably a 14-year-old granddaughter of my close acquaintance and it doubtless would cause some mild  Here and there. Even so a few moments reflection will disclose the Many offsetting advantages. Without a Telephone it would be impossible to Telephone the Telephone company to complain about ones Telephone service and this alone would save billions in Wear and tear upon the nervous system. Once upon a time a Mere customer could Telephone the Telephone company and a real live human being would answer. Young people May find that hard to believe but i swear it is True. All such amenities have disappeared. A Call to the Telephone company still produces a Dulcet feminine voice but this is a recorded voice. Quot if you Are calling from a touchtone Telephone Quot says this disembodied voice a please press the Pound Button now Quot press the what Quot the Pound Button you Ninny a the voice does not exactly say that but you know what the voice is thinking. Quot by pressing the Pound Button now we will be Able to direct you to the office you wish to speak  the voice is a soothing voice. It is the Motherly voice of someone accustomed to putting Down riots in a teen agers bedroom. A please a says the voice patiently a the Pound Button  there follows a Brief period of music and a 10-minute intermission. A if you Are calling about new service a the voice resumes a please press the Pound Button again. Make up your mind Buster if you Are calling about existing service please press 1 and then the Pound Button. If you wish to complain about your Bill press 7, then the Pound Button followed by two 4�?Ts and three 9�?Ts. Got that if an operator is not immediately available please stay on the line and your Call will be answered by Early october. A meanwhile for your entertainment we offer a selection of recorded music. If you would like Mozart press 4. If you wish classic Rock press 3. Golden oldies May be obtained by pressing 3-6. If you Are calling from a rotary Telephone Start Over and order new equipment. For new equipment press the Pound Button three times. The Telephone company As we Are grimly discovering has sold this diabolical service to All kinds of people. The voice is everywhere. A if you know the Extension number please press the number  and if you do not know the Extension number a please press 6 to get a selection of offices. If you wish or. Cartwright press 2-4. If you want accounting press 4 2. For miss Simpson try 8-5. If a Man answers hang  this Way lies madness but the technological descendants of Alexander Graham Bell have developed even More fiendish instruments. There is the Busy signal Call waiting interrupter. One has at last reached a beloved granddaughter a significant achievement and has begun to engage her in moral instruction when a burst of xylophone chords is heard on the line. A huh of a she says. A someone is trying to reach me. It might be Frank or George or Bill or even Rupert. Gotta hang up. Or i can put you on hold by briefly depressing the switch Hook. Call me Back after a while of a and she is gone before one May inquire a Rupert Rupert who a then there is the Call forwarding device by which telephones May be made to ring somewhere else Miles away. There is also the three Way combination which May be obtained by calling Mary depressing the switch Hook listening for three Short tones followed by a dial tone dealing Jennifer a number again depressing the switch Hook but first pressing the asterisk followed by 7-1 so that an appropriate charge May be recorded by the business office. To reach the business office press the Pound Button now. For paranoia press the psychiatrist. To summon six men in White Coats Mark the garments press Only. Doctor doctor take it Back or. Bell take it Back Universal press Syndicate