European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 19, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Wednesday september 19, 1990 the stars and stripes a Page 11hianders dear Ann Landers i raised a House full of boys. I unfortunately i was never blessed with a daughter. I thought that when my sons married they would bring me daughters but that does no to happen in real life so done to let anyone Tell you that it does. My daughter in Law is inter-1 ested Only in her Mother her father and her family. They go to her parents House for dinner or have her family Over to their House while we sit by ourselves. Or they spend the Day together and then drop in for an hour a duty visit. They always must hurry Home because they Are a so  i have no regrets nor do i feel guilty about the Way i raised my sons. I gave them a lot of love and they turned out to be Fine citizens. Ours was a Happy family. Please done to write Back Ann. I  want my husband to know that i have written to you. But will you put something in your column about this problem a lot of sons out there need to know How their mothers feel. A . In Michigan dear Michigan most daughters Are inclined to be closer to their mothers than to their mothers in Law. No doubt you have heard this Little verse a son is a son til he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter All of her life. I suggest that you have a talk with your son. Tell him How you feel. Ask if there is some Way you can get on better terms with his wife. Are you too a a managerial do you make too Many suggestions about the Way she should do things Are you critical of her housekeeping or the Way she is raising the children you cannot demand that your son and his wife spend More time with you but perhaps if you work at making their visits More pleasant and they will want to be with you More. Dear Ann Landers a couple of years ago you published information about the work the Simon foundation is doing for those suffering from bladder incontinence. I wrote for their newsletter and have been receiving it Ever since. A few months ago they recommended a Book called a staying dry written by a team of professionals in the Field. I ordered the Book and immediately started practising the suggested exercises. Almost overnight my problem began to disappear and now after Only three Short months i am Well along the Road to recovery. I know what is causing the problem and what to do about it. I believe that is 50 percent of the cure. You have helped me and thousands of others in numerous ways Over the years. Here is your Chance to help Many More who May have Given up Hope of Relief from this embarrassing problem. Please do your readers a favor and Tell them about the Book a staying dry a by Kathryn l. Burgio ph.d., k. Lynette Pearce r.n., c.p. And Angelo j. Lucco . A . In Highland Calif. Dear . I have seen the Book and am impressed. It is written in easy to understand language and i am delighted to recommend it to my readers. Send $12.95 to a staying dry a Johns Hopkins University press 701 West 40th st., suite 275, Baltimore md., 21211. This includes postage and handling. Seeking revised lodging allowance policy after two Tours Over Here and now working on my third i have a question concerning a subject that is near and dear to my heart. No in a not going to complain about cafes or about commissary workers or even about the troop cuts even though in a sure that ranks right up there in the top 10. I would like to ask about the magical thing called la a temporary living allowance. If in a wrong on this subject please let me know. A Soldier is authorized la if his her family members Are authorized concurrent travel to private rental housing. La is automatically authorized for 30 Days. If an Extension is needed for 30 Days then a request must be forwarded to the Community commander for approval. This i understand is so that the Community commander can determine if the individual concerned was offered housing and if he turned those offers Down or not. If no housing is available then it la is extended past the 30-Day Mark. If the la needs to go beyond the 60-Day Mark then approval must come from the servicing corps finance office with documentation showing Why housing was turned Down. The process involved is time consuming and Many a landlord is told to be patient and wait for la to be approved. Now enter into the time Frame where the Borders have been thrust open for All to enter. Available housing has disappeared from the Market. Thousands Are looking for a place with none to be found. Understandable that corps would want to approve la Over 60 Days so that no one individual can abuse the system and sit Back and not aggressively seek housing. Fine and Dandy. My question is whether or not the policy concerning la is going to be looked at and changed or updated or amended to give the Community commander the approving authority for anything Over 60 Days. Documentation will still have to be shown to the Community commander As to what Steps have been taken to aggressively seek housing yet this will assist and Speed up the paper process involved in getting la approved. Depending upon How far your Community is located from your corps finance office this process can take anywhere from seven Days to 45. Prior to nov 9, 1989, housing was abundant and available and Steps were needed to ensure that la was not abused. Now housing Isnit available and it is not uncommon that it takes three to four months to find a place to live. It May even take that Long just to get an offer from the housing referral office. Meanwhile we Are driving the local rental agencies crazy by visiting their offices every Day. Speaking from experience it took me 3 v2 months to find a House to live in. Not one that was suitable for my family or not but to find a place to  period. It is understandable that housing referral and German rental agencies locked their doors and screaming pen pals please publish my name in the pen pal Section. I enjoy swimming bicycling dancing and the outdoors. A Fylomena Tubella 139-a Anonas ext., ska tuna Village Kamas Quezon City Philippines i would like to have pen friends from around the world. I am 12 years old and my favorite group is new kids on the Block. My hobbles Are swimming dancing and computers. A Nicole Smith Sec. Btry 6/1 fax Down the Street every time i came walking Down their sidewalk. I wont be Able to move in for another two weeks but i did find a place to live. A fellow service member is posing. The Point in a trying to make is with the average waiting period for housing being anywhere from three to five months will the la policy in the near future be reviewed to give the Community commander the authority to approve or disapprove la Over 60 Days a staff sgt. Brian m. Border bad Kissinger West Germany editors note a sgt. 1st class Michael Donahue staff finance no office of the Deputy chief of staff resource management he Usa eur replies you Are Correct in that the joint Federal travel regulations a for require soldiers to aggressively seek housing unless excused from doing so. Temporary lodging allowance la is never automatically paid to anyone. However if soldiers comply with the provisions of the a for payment of la should not be a problem. The requirement for the Community commanders involvement was made in 1988 in an Effort to reduce costs. That year Aqda reported that usage urn Sta costs would exceed the amount budgeted by $20 million. I understand that in some cases the process to receive la has become a bureaucratic hassle. Yet costs continue to Rise. In fact during july 1990, $3.6 million was spent. This is $1.5 million More than in june and the largest expenditure in three years. So we Are now faced with rising costs and soldiers losing valuable training time. Some Tough decisions had to be made. On 31 july Cincu Sarteur directed a new la approval process to address both issues. First the news you want to hear the new process excuses soldiers from House Hunting while at Community Central in processing units. Also soldiers will not have to report their search efforts More than once every 10 Days. Now for what could not be done la for periods Between 31 and 60 Days will be approved by the Community commander and approval for periods beyond 60 Days will be made by the Usa eur major command commander. This will ensure that commanders Are involved in the family travel decision House Hunting and la approval process. Having periods beyond 60 Days approved by the ump commander is still at a lower level than required by the a for which directs that one official in each country be appointed to approve these extensions. I honestly cannot see that requirement being changed. Other portions of the new approval process May be reviewed in the future. Our ultimate goal is to provide just compensation for every Soldier. La is a valuable Quality of life entitlement that must be protected from budgetary reductions by Aqda Dod and Congress. Keeping the ump involved is that Protection. Apo new York 09070-1111 hello i pm 20 years old and would like pen pals. A Lori Sapp 25254 Normandy Roseville Mich. 46066 please place my name in the pen pal column. I am a 41-year-old hairstylist. A Lenolla orbits Purok orchids cell Dogon do Moguete City Philippines european edition circulation 170,000 col. Gene e. Townsend u8af commander editor in chief it. Col. Gayle w. 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