European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 16, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse A jew ignorance of sex by Donna Larcen Hartford courant if we Are to believe the Kinsey Institute new report on sex americans Aren t sexually literate. As part of the research for the new Book St. Martins press $22.95the Kinsey Institute and the Roper poll a year ago gave a 20-question quiz to 1,711 adult americans. Forty five percent answered Only 10 questions correctly missing such Basic information As Quot can a woman get pregnant during her menstrual flow Quot yes and Quot can a person get aids by having anal Intercourse even if neither partner is infected with aids Quot no. While some sexologist have argued with Kinsey a question selection and testing procedure most agree that not Only do americans need brushing up on the Basic biology questions but teen agers and adults need major tutoring on the importance of sex in relationships. Alan Wabrek president of the world association for sexology laments the attitude that ignorance is Bliss. Quot there is probably no other Field of knowledge where As a society we even suggest that keeping people ignorant is the Best policy Quot says Wabrek who with his wife Lyn Wabrek co directs the sex therapy program at Hartford Hospital in Connecticut. He is dismayed that virtually no major University has a sexology department. Quot this is one of the Basic drives of life Quot he says. Quot we ought to pay More attention to couples tend to hold themselves up to an unrealistic View of perfect sex As seen on television or in movies. Or they hear on Sally Jesse Raphael that if your husband is not interested in sex maybe he a one of those 47 percent having an affair. Quot maybe he a just tired Quot says Alan Wabrek. Quot you know in the College years its a lot easier to be natural about having relations. There s More time and Opportunity. When you add on the demands of careers and children and ballgames and making dinner people find it s not natural at the Wabrek believe that our society is not very Good at integrating sexuality in the personality. Quot when the thrill of newness of sex is gone we see a lot of Young married people who never develop themselves sexually Quot Lyn Wabrek says. Alan Wabrek explains that there is a biological need to have sex at one end of the spectrum and Romance at the other. Quot in Between you have people who get together sexually when they feel Good or Happy or As a Way to relax. But when they feel sad or angry with each other they withhold sex and they get on a fairly narrow track of sexual behaviour. Desire wanes resentment builds and they Are headed for a lot of that starts Early because of a Lack of discussion about sex they say. Quot parents Hope the schools will do it schools Hope the parents will do it. Kids get the information from their friends or television Quot says Lyn Wabrek. Quot it s not a Good Quot there is the feeling that if you Tell kids All the facts about sex it encourages them to run out and try it Quot Alan Wabrek says. Quot that just does no to Quot most school systems take a sex negative approach Quot says Marguerite Rubenstein one of the senior staff members of the Institute for advanced study of human sexuality a graduate school in san Francisco. Quot its the Don to do that or you la die approach Quot some parents and religious leaders say that stressing abstinence before marriage is the Best Way to educate children about sex. But Quot the just say no school of thought does t work Quot Rubenstein says. Quot kids Are going to Experiment whether you Tell them anything at All or not. You re better off giving them the the same misconceptions Are perpetuated through the years says Llene Shub spokeswoman for planned parenthood. Quot we still get people saying they did no to think they could get pregnant the first time or if they had Intercourse standing up. Its mind boggling Quot Shub says. Quot the level of misinformation is the same As it has always that a probably because kids get their information from other kids according to a Kinsey Survey. The next biggest a fantasy View of sex can present problems in relationships therapists suggest. Source is mom. Quot if mom Isnit informed or is uncomfortable with the subject then you get a whole new generation of misconceptions Quot Rubenstein says. Levels of sexually transmitted diseases pregnancy Are still very High says Cindy Stern co chairwoman of the teen pregnancy prevention coalition of Connecticut. Quot we re worried about All of the risky behaviour that teens display getting drunk having sex without Protection. That All leads to increased rates of syphilis and pregnancy Quot Stern says. Quot we re also seeing an increase in the rate of aids for Young people in their 20s. Since the latency period is so Long for that disease we know they a exposing themselves to it in their teen though magazines and television shows cover sexual issues their messages Are not always positive Alan Wabrek says. Quot at a formative stage of their sexuality teen agers easily develop the perspective in part from television that sexual relationships Are temporary frequent casual Short lived and usually occur outside marriage Quot he says. Quot one study documented a sexual reference or act every nine minutes during daytime soap operas with unmarried partners involved three times As often As married this fantasy View of sex can present problems in relationships they say. Quot every so often we get a Call from a couple asking what a wrong with them because they Arentt having simultaneous orgasm Quot Lyn Wabrek says. Quot that kind of thinking is just setting yourself up for sexual the question showed that the couple had Little knowledge about women and orgasm she said. Quot we had to share with them that not All women have orgasm with the traditional missionary position Quot she says. Quot we showed them other ways to give each other Quot in the Case of the older couple it s often because the husband is having erection problems Quot Alan Wabrek says. Quot he just stops showing any physical affection to his wife because All he knows is he can to follow through. We have to show the couple that there Are Many ways to love each and that Lack of physical Contact can cause relationship problems. Quot we be always said although we can t prove this a we just know this on a gut instinct level a that sex seems to take the edges off people so they can live together Quot Lyn Wabrek says. 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