European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 23, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Feeling insecure Call Uncle Sam the rent a cop Mike Brovko Tribune Media service any americans concerned about the Middle East situation have been asking Quot Why should this country try to be the worlds police Man a there a been no satisfactory answer to that question. Depending on whom you believe we re doing it because we done to like naked aggression or even fully clothed aggression or we re doing it because of Oil or we re doing it because we want to prevent Israel from blowing Baghdad away. Whatever the reasons we do appear to have become the worlds policeman. We be been at it for much of this Century with mixed results world War i world War ii Korea Vietnam Granada Panama and now in the desert. So maybe the question should be a if we arc going to be the worlds policeman Why done two. Do it on a business basis and show a profit Quot within this country the private Security Industry is booming. Businesses communities and individuals now hire rent a cops to protect their property and persons. The Security agencies provide a full Range of police services and Send a monthly Bill. Since that a what we re now doing As a country maybe we should follow the example of the Security Industry. Perhaps president Bush should walk into the office of a head of state and say Quot Good afternoon Sheik Labbad Abrado i m. George Bush and i represent the . Worldwide Security inc. Id like to explain our full Range of services to  a nah yes or. Bush but i have my own in House Security coverage and we be found that  a a but is it lets face it its a Jungle out there studies have shown that the naked aggression rate among Power mad tyrants is rising and will do so in definitely. One can to afford to take chances can one a a you May be right. So what can you do for me a Quot As i said we have a full Range of services. Professionally licensed army Navy marines and air Force plus a part time manpower Pool of Reserve personnel for special events. And we offer the very latest in state of the Art anti tyrant  a missiles Quot a. A you name it we be got it. Little ones big ones. Everything from Basic heat seekers to full scale icbms. We can guarantee the most Boom for your Buck or your Money  a submarines a a the very latest in nuclear powered. And so quiet that they can be in your swimming Pool without you knowing it. Here glance at this Bro contents Cher is at less than her Best in a mermaids a a film that does t quite make it. Review by staff writer Chuck Vinch on Page 9, to plus is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editors John Taylor Sarah Bottorff. Art director Sharon Kilday production Lisa Williams Denise Adams editorial assistance Louis Pierce a a Quot Marian Hamilton cover / / / snoopy and company celebrate Christmas on military television stations this week Page 10. 3 Mil 4observationschristmas does no to go by the books what do you buy for folks Back Home fast track. The Man behind Stuffy old Jim dialfeatured5 paid Hogan is life and Timeson videos 6 celebrate Quot Henry a a comes to video to briefs to s second season Dawn this weeks films. 8-9 Quot mermaids a a film that flounders Complete cafes circuit listing son television. 10 a rundown on the Christmas special television listings. 11-14 local Cable and satellite schedules Home front. 15 music Industry has two new hits computerized a lines books 16-17 yank gis View of world War ii la i in writers Are hot in the .science and the world .18 Quot Good bugs take bite out of Quot bad at a glance Syria Odds amp ends. 19. On pins and Needles Over a dry tree. Genealogy and Horoscope last laugh. I. 24 pave Bury cartoons Jim around the world Chiric and you la get an idea of what we have to  Quot i Sec Here that you also offer intelligence services a  a a inc of our specialities. We be got round the clock spy satellite service. Not to brag but right now i could punch up my computer Here and in minutes have a close up photo of what your wife is doing at this very  a what about my mistress Quot Quot no problem. Its All part of the package. Now in a sure you know what it would Cost you to put up your own spy sate 11 it. If you be priced it out you know that it would be far More Cost effective to use our  a How Long docs it take to install your system a a your technicians arc the Best and it can be done in almost no time. You la have this key pad. When you go to bed at night you punch the a Border so cure Button. Th3t Means that if any Power mad tyrant crosses your Borders it alerts our main dispatch office in the Pentagon and our Security forces arc dispatched to apprehend the  a a what a the Cost Quot a it depends on the clients size and needs. In your Case it would be about $1 billion a month payable on the . A i can live with that. But one other question. What happens if i aspire to become a Power mad tyrant and to engage in naked aggression against a neighbor a ,. A that would depend on whether your neighbor and intended victim is also a client of  a and if he is Quot. Quot in a sure  can work something out. Business is business a the Rolls Royce Emblem is a status Symbol worldwide and the ticket for admission into a. Rather exclusive club Page 15. C in plus -. Sunday december 23.1990