European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 29, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Growing up bilingually Chris Hedges new York times Hildren raised in bilingual households often confront an array of emotional and intellectual problems that their monolingual playmates Are spared. Drifting Between two languages and cultures they can feel like  both. A if you do not have the Correct supportive structures to raise the child bilingually the child will not be comfortable in either linguistic Community Quot said Kenji Hakuta a professor of education at Stanford University. A this will have consequences in school and in the child s identity a child can feel alienated and removed from those around  a yet parents and adults who. Were raised in bilingual. Households say they find that the struggle if handled with aplomb can give an added dimension to children a lives and help them integrate into the world of their parents and families which is  As Well As bilingual. Quot we live in both worlds so there is a practical Side Quot said Jair Pruitt the administrator of the Institute of French studies at new York University who has lived with her husband and daughter in both France and America. Quot it is not an intellectual  educators say that parents must often be Content with children s Lack of total proficiency in their second language usually the one spoken at Home but not in the country where they live. But Quot if parents have Given the child some knowledge of the second language they have still enriched the child s life Quot said Catherine e. Snow a professor in human development and psychology at Harvard s graduate school of education. Educators also say that parents should not limit vocabulary and concepts in either language even if the child fails to grasp All that is being Sard. A the Richer the topics of conversation the better off the children Are Quot Hakuta said. A. Some educators caution however that the process of bilingual education in the Home though rigorous must sometimes give Way to the child s emotional needs. Quot the major dangers that learning the second language becomes such a big Issue that it threatens the child Parent relationship Quot Snow said. Quot if you spend All. Your time saying a no we speak German Here a then you divert real communication with your children. Quot the major reason bilingual efforts go awry is that the parents put More value on real communication with their children than on the simple acquisition of language  but even diligent bilingual couples can have problems. Those who have succeeded say they rarely speak English at Home they try to make sure their children spend time a each year in a country where the foreign language is. Spoken.  ,. A. Elena climent a mexican artist living in new York with her husband and two Small children travels with her children to Mexico every summer. Quot by the time summer vacation approaches they speak Only English Quot climent said Quot then we go to Mexico. As soon As they realize that the world around them is Spanish speaking which takes about a week they go Back to  most children in bilingual households speak with their parents in the language of the culture in which they live limits of their own behaviour partly because they Are bombarded by that language _ daily and partly because children have a powerful need to conform. A., ,. Quot As children move from preschool into the Early school Vears they become increasingly susceptible to embarrassment if their parents Are different Snow said. Children who do not begin a second language before they begin school often have a problem developing total fluency in that language. Quot it is almost impossible to a change the language of the Home after it has been established Quot Snow said. Eric Fassin a French National and the assistant director at nyut a Institute of French studies said that  daughter started to speak while the family was living in America she used English and French. Quot but then she realized when she was about 2 that the French speakers she knew spoke English Quot Fassin said. Quot we would ask her to speak to us in French and she would say a i  but after a summer in France the child now 3, recovered her French. Quot its not perfect Quot Fassin said Quot her r s sound american to  educators say parents must often be Content with children s Lack of total proficiency in a second language by Marianne and Stephen a Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman a Cox news sen ice readers letter my Friend s 4-year-old son is a hellion. His Mother never says a word to him. We were waiting to be seated at a restaurant and he just slowed into me a almost knocked me off my feet. His Mother laughed. It seems like she thinks everything this child does is cute. I just done to understand Why she does no to do something. A wondering dear wondering no doubt it was a nervous laugh but Many people must certainly ask the same question when they observe a child misbehaving As a Parent stands by quietly. Quot a there Are a number of reasons a Parent might choose not to discipline a child a some parents who were severely punished themselves overcompensate by being lax. They Bend Over backward not to fall into the same pattern. Some parents have misinterpreted popular psychology. Erroneously believing that saying Quot no Quot harms a child s development. Others vacillate Between two extremes a taking a permissive and then a punitive stance As their emotions dictate. There Are parents who assume onlookers will judge them harshly if they take any Public action. Finally there Are a few moms and dads who just Don t know what to do. Every Parent has experienced those few seconds of disbelief As a child acts out of turn misbehaves or says something you can to believe came from his Mouth. It is. Important to remember this is an Opportunity to teach. It is essential for children to know what is expected of them and that their parents will act consistently. A Parent must set limits at Home and in Public. It teaches children. Socially acceptable behaviour and helps them feel secure. Once they know a Parent will react fairly but swiftly they usually respond accordingly. However if children learn they can get away with extreme behaviour they will push the limits. The child you observed May have physical or psychological problems that make it difficult for him to adhere to rules. If. His parents Are not getting the help they need their frustration May take the form of avoidance. When children Are difficult it is All the More important for parents to work harder and More consistently to reinforce appropriate behaviour and prevent or Stop negative behaviour. A a a the stars and stripes tuesday january 29, 1991