European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 17, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Busy solving the Dave Barry. Knight Ridder news Papaj a viral Alert readers have sent me an alarming report from the associated press wire service. Normally i disregard reports from the associated press because i used to work there which is a sure sign of an incompetent organization. Of it  impressive. You hear Quot Asso. Cited press a and you think of a vast new gather ing organization with thousands of observant reporters out gathering news whereas when i was there All 1 did was sit in a Small windowless office and rewrite stories out of the. Philadelphia Butle tin which would sometimes reprint them. I almost never went outside the building except to put Money in the parking meter. Nevertheless this alarming a Story i received recently has the ring of truth it Stales that a team of japanese scientists has a successfully revived a Small insects after deep freezing them for nearly two  the specific Type of insect they revived was the Flea. They took some fleas got them Down to minus 321 degrees then revived them and they Ilie scientists Are  this. I bet you have never in your entire life heard a Normal human say a boy i sure am losing a lot of sleep Over the fact that fleas could be freezing to death and we  know How to revive them a in fact Normal humans Are constantly looking for new ways to kill fleas especially if they the humans own dogs because the Only natural do sense that dogs have against fleas is scratching which is almost useless. Due to poor design a dogs leg can Only scratch about 2 Square inches of its body. The fleas Are Well aware of this fact. The first thing they do when they occupy a dog is put up tiny signs that say Quot scratch zone keep out nevertheless dogs keep scratching there because what else can they do form support groups most dogs like to do their serious scratching at 2 45 , while standing next to a Wall that resonates loudly when the dog s leg hits it. The household will be sound asleep Aind Slid Donly whomp whom a whomp whomp a terrifying noise that sounds like numerous irate Rhi Noccra bsds coming up the stairs shocks you violently awake meanwhile the fleas Safe in the demilitarized zone Are drinking blood and laughing until All 17,000 of their eyes water and scientists arc reviving these Little Dir bags. This is not an isolated instance of deranged by Havior on the part of the scientific Community. You May recall that a couple of years ago some genetic researchers proudly announced that after expending a tremendous amount of time and Money they had managed to produce a new Type of mouse what a next on the Agenda science Community smarter leeches stealth mosquitoes nuclear powered cockroaches i la Tel you what Ria by has me nervous the Galileo space probe. What they did is they made this space probe and they put 47 pounds of deadly radioactive plutonium in it and they sent it off into space. So far so Good right but they sent it off in such a Way that last december it came whizzing Back and just barely missed the Earth. And what is worse in less than two years its going to come whizzing past the Earth again the science Community claims that Galileo has to come Back twice because in order to go fast. Enough to escape the solar system it has to zoom by the Earth so that it can a forgive me for getting technical Here a pick up a Load of Gravity. But what i want to know is a Why can to Galileo obtain Gravity from a planet with a lower population density a if they had to put 47 pounds of something into a space probe Why did no to they pick a sub. Stance that would cause less damage if it splatter into the Earth such As Mayonnaise or a Small member of Congress. Until we get some answers i say we pass a Law requiring scientists to Stop conducting these insane experiments and return to traditional scientific activities such As wearing White Laboratory Coats on to commercials and. Demonstrating How rolaids consumes 47 times its weight in excess stomach acid. Or if they want to take on a Challenge that would really Benefit the human race they could hold my dogs while i apply their Flea dip. Collins London England to Here As an Eye a Tynesa. Who do i report to t no kidding four reasons for military exemptions in biblical times recently built House not dedicated Vineyard not harvested recent marriage not consummated Man afraid or a a disheartened one year limit placed on this exemption source the Bible almanac i960. Soft drinks that did no to make it on the Market grape blood blood Orange yes its cola Why cola nag hip pomegranate punch source peanuts pop Corn. Ice Cream. Candy arid soda pop 1970. O 3 a a f Petricig Belgrade a Yugoslavia Page 24 a sunday March 17, 1991