European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 28, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday september 28, 1991 the stars and stripes a Page 19 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers the letter from the woman whose husband dumped her after meeting an old classmate at their 20th High school reunion prompted me to write. Eleven years ago i walked out on a 12-year marriage. My wife was a Good person but for a Long time she was under a lot of stress. Instead of helping her i began an affair with her Best Friend. It was a disaster. This is what i gave up 1. Seeing my daughter grow up. 2. The respect of Many longtime friends. 3. The enjoyment of living As a family. 4. A wife who was Loyal was appreciative and tried hard to make me Happy. This is what i got 1. Two stepchildren who treated me like dirt. 2. A wife who did no to know How to make anything for dinner but reservations. 3. A wife whose Only interest in me was How much Money she could get. 4. A wife who made disparaging remarks about my family and ruined All my existing friendships. 5. Finally the Best thing a bitter expensive divorce. Ann Tell your readers that anyone who is married and has his or her next mate All lined up is looking for trouble. People done to know what they Are giving up today a crossword dear Abby dear Abby i am a Secretary and have been for some years now. But recently 1 started working with a new company and i have one major problem with one of the higher authorities who Isnit my Boss supervisor who uses me As her personal Secretary a and i do mean personal. She has me doing her income taxes her daughters income taxes her lease etc., and making Coffee. The last duty is extremely irksome. Yes i am supposed to assist her As directed by my Boss. But he Means As an aide not a maid. 1 do not like Coffee therefore i done to drink it a so Why do i have to make it i really done to think making Coffee is in any secretarial Job description. I would like to Tell her to do her own personal things and make her own Coffee. No personal Secretary dear no personal Secretary if you Are comfortable with your own Boss talk with him confidentially. Keep the level professional and calmly explain what this woman is asking you to do specifically. Tell him that the woman s personal requests Are cutting into company time and productivity. From there on it is the responsibility of your Boss either to direct fou to fulfil this woman s requests or not. But remember it is the Boss s responsibility to speak to this Quot higher authority Quot and not yours. Quibble hum of ont ecu Home a Hooft Lemut ms6mu1eft1 my att feb mint my Amft m in hmm Smuc vim hot and this had but str 66 Coop .1 have to ask the commissioner of r pfc Folau fax. A a Fay Twe commissions of base Ball is a she bin if 5he can t get amp i fils in done Cam. If is a me and vat going 10 60 hide th6 basfq�kl.6a13i until they no longer have it. Then its too late. Otis of Wisconsin dear Otis thanks for writing. A nut said. Dear Ann Landers your column from a fed up in Chicago reminded me of an incident that occurred 20 years ago when 1 quit a Good Job because my Boss asked me to Wash the Woodwork. Actually it was my fault. There were fingerprints on a cupboard door and without thinking i got Busy with a cloth and hand soap and wiped it clean. My Boss saw me do this. Soon after he was going on a trip and gave us instructions on what to do in his absence. He pointed at me looking right past the two attractive younger women and said a you can clean the Woodwork Over  i decided that Miniute to quit a and 1 did. But no one Ever knew Why. I simply mailed him the key to the office with a note saying i  be Back. I realize now that i should have told him exactly Why. He would have Learned something. Still mad in Madison dear mad i strongly suspect that the Boss knew exactly Why you quit. I wonder if he Ever asked any other office employee to Wash the Woodwork after you left. Ill bet not. Thanks for the bit of history. C creators Syndicate dear Abby i need to Settle a dispute concerning proper Telephone etiquette. When someone telephones me and i am not at Nome my brother asks if there is a message. If there Isnit one he terminates the conversation. I say he should ask who is calling so that i will at least know who called. As it stands when i get Home All i am told is a someone called a and he did no to leave a  my brother insists he has no right to ask More than a do you care to leave a message he says it would be rude an invasion of privacy to ask More. I say it is acceptable to ask and if the caller does not wish to leave a name he or she can say no. Who is right . In Conn. Dear . It is not rude to inquire Quot who is calling please Quot but the problem could be easily resolved by using the following routine a the Telephone rings. Your brother answers it. The caller asks Quot is Donna there Quot your brother replies Quot May i ask who is calling please Quot if the caller does not wish to leave his or her name the Stock reply will be Quot never mind thanks i la Call Back  then the dial tone will be heard but nine times out of 10, the caller will give his or her name if asked before even being told whether the party is Home or not. 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