European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 21, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Travel in soviet Union a Challenge by Charles p. Wallace los Angeles times the weather had turned Nasty with slush on the streets and air so cold that the fillings in my Teeth began to ache. As i stood next to a giant statue of . Lenin in the East russian City of Yakutsk taxi after taxi cruised past and ignored All of my overtures to get them to Stop. Finally a vehicle looking like a Green panel truck veered toward the curb. Quot hop in the Back Quot said the Driver after we agreed on a Price of 25 rubles about 75 cents. Only then did i realize that i was climbing into an army ambulance. There were plastic vials on the floor the kind that might be used to Rush plasma into an operating room. Quot Don t worry Quot laughed the Driver a Good natured Yakut native. Quot i m on my Way to fill up on  life in the Gorbachev Era soviet Union is an improvisation and travelling to the hinterlands of Siberia is no exception. All organized structures such As car rentals and hotel reservations have completely broken Down because everybody is out Hunting for food or toilet paper. In a shop in Vladivostok i found butter for Sale in chunks next to Winter clothes and razor Blades. Everyone seemed to think this was Normal. Restaurants keep their doors permanently locked so the waiters can eat All the food. Hotels have permanent Quot no vacancy Quot signs. Taxis Are out cruising around without customers. Ask for an explanation of this insanity and the answer is always the same  because what Quot just  in one City i was obliged to hire a 100-seat icarus intercity bus because no taxis were available. In another an army dermatologist named Olga chauffeured me around in her state car for two Days for $200. As a parting gesture she mysteriously gave me a bottle of Ginseng the korean Root that supposedly endows those who partake of it with boundless virility from the Hospital s  a headache a muscovite holds up a bottle of Vodka and a ration card. Soviet hotels a even those serving foreigners a \ have a difficult time keeping their bars stocked. In the big cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg a state travel Agency called i tourist helps foreigners buy tickets for air planes and trains. But there is no i tourist in the soviet hinterlands. Ticket offices for the state airline Aeroflot offer a new definition of the concept of pandemonium with formless Wall to Wall crowds pressed against the reservation counter and people shouting Quot i m next i m next Quot the impatient ticket clerks hide behind closed Blue curtains and shout Back Quot no seats to Moscow no seats to Khabarovsk Quot each ticket is written by hand in Triplicate. It gets particularly worrisome when you realize that some people in line have brought lunch. One reason for the crowds is the ludicrously Low ticket prices. A coast to coast ticket equal to  san Francisco to Maine for example costs just $8. Flying is cheaper Thap phoning. Once at the Airport the scenes of chaos Are repeated. Electronic flight signs Are paralysed with years of neglect their letters caught in an unreadable alphabet soup. On the plane often there Are not enough seats for ticketed passengers. Needless to say the dash for seats is not for the faint of heart. The losers get to make the flight standing up in front or seated in the toilets while emergency exits Are used to store suitcases and sacks of potatoes. A recent innovation on some flights is that the Cabin Crew conducts a lottery among the passengers As if flying the Vintage aircraft is not enough of a Gamble. Everybody Antes up three rubles and the Winner gets a Box of imported Tea. Losers get a rubber toy. For five rubles you can rent a Walkman with sad russian Folk songs. In Novokuznetsk a dim Industrial town in Southern Siberia the Airport truck was out of action so passengers had to carry their Luggage to the plane and heave it into the cargo hold. One Man was carrying Home 25 Gallons of gasoline a but claiming it on the other end can often take longer than the flight. Entering a restaurant can also be a special Challenge since waiters Are paid a state salary and their income does not depend on the number of people served. The restaurants Are invariably vast with dozens of empty tables but they almost always feature a band playing Rock music so the non existent diners can dance. In Yakutsk i was seated Only after presenting the director of the restaurant with a Carton of Marlboro. In another City the Price of admission was a French lipstick. In Khabarovsk i was told to Quot ask for big Masha Quot and give her $20. Sure enough dinner magically appeared. There was even ice Cream. Here s the soviet Union so economic problem in a nutshell at the hard currency bar of the Khabarovsk i tourist hotel there is Gin but no tonic. Some 700 Miles to the South at the Vladivostok hotel a you guessed it a there is tonic but no Gin. If they Ever get together the country will be Well on its Way to capitalism. A woman reaches for one of the last packs of butter. Food shortages Are a constant problem for residents and visitors alike. File file Many restaurants such As this one in St. Petersburg Are hard to spot from the outside. And inside service is far below Western standards. 10 stripes Magazine november 21, 1991