European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 27, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                . Would never have let Trade War erupt Robert Reno we still done to know what Carla a. Hills would have done if the european Community which is after All a larger economic Power than the United states a had told her to take her wine tariffs and jump in a Lake while retaliating with Trade barriers of their own against . Goods. We do know that in the end the United states accepted a settlement More moderate than the whole loaf it had sought that a the trouble with these incipient Trade wars these minuets they pretend to dance along the Edge of world economic disaster. We can never be sure How seriously to take them. The latest was by some counts the 11th or 14th major Trade War that has been averted in the last 20 years Only. We Are assured the catastrophe was prevented by the steely and selfless resolve of the negotiating parties to see through to one Basic fact that the consequences of such conflicts would be far More damaging to All parties than the grievances that brought them to the rink. Indeed anybody who went out and bought a truckload of French wine believing Hills was deadly serious about going to War might now feel duped by the Trade negotiators a both the europeans who claimed they were ready to retaliate against her tariffs and Hills herself who As recently As sunday was insisting she had taken a a a moderate position and Wasny to Likely to further accommodate the europeans. The amount of Oil seeds and wine involved in this dispute critical As they might have been to relatively narrow segments of the . And the French Economy were never the big Issue of course. At stake was a worldwide Trade l a cd Hills. Agreement concluding the Uruguay in a whole year. Round of talks an excruciatingly Labori Ous process that seems within such easy reach of agreement now but which we were repeatedly assured could have gone Down the Drain without a european american agreement on these Damn Oil seeds. I a whole year. So i guess we have to congratulate Ilu by some estimates a new Overall Trade settlement under the general agreement of tariffs and Trade involving virtually All the planets trading nations will generate an extra $5.25 trillion in world Trade Over the next decade. The magnitude of Commerce involved is very close to the entire output of All goods and services in the United states but we must not assume that this Victory indeed if it is one is without Cost if it is nothing More than a lot of bad will in France. Dominique Strauss Kahn the French minister of Industry and external Trade accused . Officials of wanting to create a sort of one nation food Cartel like the organization of Petroleum exporting countries. The United states wants a to become the worlds biggest exporter of food products and to Wield a kind of food weapon Over the rest of the planet a he said last week. We must 1 guess be patient with such reactions. After All he a the Guy who a soon Likely to have a crowd of ill tempered French Farmers dumping Rotten turnips on his Doorstep revving their tractors and ruining his sleep. It will All depend now on How skilfully the French politicians can sell to French Farmers the idea that they have made a Good Deal even As our own politicians congratulate themselves on having avoided a calamity they must never have seriously contemplated allowing to happen. C now Day Queen s predicament gets no sympathy Here Miami a when i read that Queen Elizabeth a House had been significantly damaged while Prince Andrew was inside it came to me As an astonishing coincidence. My House also was devastated with an Andrew inside a mine being a Hurricane hers being her son. I Queen we Are co travellers in pathos. We also both were foolish. The Queen one of the worlds richest people did not have sprinklers in her Windsor Castle. Hence the fire ran unabated. I moderately below her in net income did not mount storm shutters on my windows. Hence the Hurricane came in at will and had its Way with my furnishings. But it would appear the Queen is even More irresponsible than i am. At least i have insurance. She has none. This is a Quirky trait among Rich privileged people. Perhaps if they understood that the payments could be made quarterly they would be More receptive to the idea. There has burst out among britons debate As to who should be paying for the repairs numbering somewhere in the Vicinity of $92 million. The tories if i understand matters say that while the Queen owns Windsor Castle the people Are stuck with the Bills because she is the Queen and Only takes in Money and spends Little including none on taxes. The la Borics insist that the Queen is making Bucks enough a she a Worth a reported $6 billion a and can Jolly Well reach into her purse a time or two. It is Only a. Matter of time before representatives of both principles appear on the Oprah Winfrey or Phil Donahue talk shows to spew and spout the Queen and i have something else in common. It turns out that fear of huge losses to our priceless Art collections were exaggerated. The Queens Booty seems to have been spared largely because Andrew a the son not the storm a plucked a Bunch of pieces from the burning 1,000-room Castle and stashed them elsewhere. My Art losses also were not As substantial As i first thought. The lithographs a my most precious a montage of states skiers and hockey players at the �?T88 Calgary olympics numbering 173 in a run of 450 a were scarcely damaged when Andrew a the storm not the son a rummaged through my House. I do Grieve however that the 8-by-10 mounted color photo of me standing atop pikes Peak has been violated beyond any Hope of restoration. Hut Here svs hat the Queen needs to in Howard Kleinberg de stand next time. It matters not How much insurance premiums Cost a you really need to pay them. Do you have any idea of what Frame of mind 1 would be in today had not my 8-by-10 color photo atop pikes Peak been among the items insured As household Content i hate to sound disrespectful toward the United kingdoms reigning Monarch but she is one cheap lady. In be often winced at comedian Joan Rivers recorded insult to wit a what do you say to a lady who owns England Canada Australia new zealand and Bermuda shave your legs dammit a hut the fact that she had not insured her property had not installed sprinklers in a 900-year-old building and Wasny to even planning to pay for Upkeep of the old barn tells me plenty about her and is grist for a Joan Rivers reprise. Your miserly ways your High Ness Are where we part company. 1 will Tell you now that my two revered 20-foot-tall Coconut Trees were blown Halfway to Arkansas by Andrew a the Hurricane not the human a and were not covered by insurance. But unlike you 1 will be reaching deep into my pocket for a Hundred or so Bucks to Plant two new ones although just 6 feet High. Loosen up Quennie dig Down and come up with a few quid of your own to fix up the Castle. Or sell off part of the old Empire a maybe Bermuda. Bfjfvo.0