European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 23, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Wednesday december 23, 1992 the stars and stripes a Page 19 daughter and son in Law Are Distant today s crossword dear Ann Landers for 40 years our daughter a Iris a told us How Lucky she was to have us As parents. My husband and i have always treated our son in Law a Randy a like a son and feel very close to him. Unfortunately when Randy turned 40, he had an affair and put our daughter through hell. It went on for two years. Finally he agreed to go for joint counselling and now they say their marriage is Back on track. We be been told however that Randy feels we have been much too involved in Irish life and that she has got to Cool it with us so she can get closer to him. Now the Only time we see Iris and Randy is when they drop their kids off for us to baby sit. All Randy seems interested in is what Iris will inherit. We have spoken to several of our friends about this and it seems they have similar problems with their kids. A few of them have changed their wills. Their estates will be divided among nieces nephews and worthy causes. When you recommend a professional help a perhaps you should suggest that therapists not be so Quick to Lay the blame on parents for everything that goes wrong in a child a life. We suspect our daughters therapist created the split in our family and we Are saddened by the loss. Parents alone in Iowa dear Iowa when people write to me i am aware that in a getting Only their Side of the Story. I then try to figure out what Ann Landers the other person or people might say about the situation. I suspect Irish therapist told her that she was too involved with her parents and that if her marriage was to survive she would have to Cut the apron strings and forge a closer relationship with her husband. I Hope that time will heal the rift and that when Iris feels her marriage is More secure she and Randy will move closer to you both. That would be Ideal for All concerned. Ill keep my fingers crossed. Dear Ann Landers id love to Sec this letter in print even though the person i have in mind will not recognize herself. Here it is dear pregnant co worker in a sick of you sitting around patting your stomach bragging about How you Are going to work up to the Day your baby is due. Actually you Arentt working you Are simply showing up a late at that a and leaving after 10 minutes to get something to eat. In a doing All the things around Here that you done to want to do and therefore claim you  if you got paid for the work you did you a get about one third of your Check. Why do you expect me to pick up your Slack its your baby. It was your Choice and your thrill. No name no City Tenn. Dear n.n.n.c., Tenn Feci better i Hope so. That was quite a blast. You sound like a very angry person. Why so much venom envious maybe Lotters to Ann Landers should be addressed to Hor at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate some useful Christmas present ideas dear readers a faithful Reader for More than 30 years a who requested anonymity a wrote the following for Christmas i done to want another Crystal Bud vase. I have four under my Kitchen sink and nobody brings me Flowers anyway. I done to want a sausage and cheese tray a too much cholesterol for this old lady. I done to want another music Box to find a place for. I have too Many now. I done to want a silk Nightgown perfumed soap a fancy bed jacket dusting powder or a Bird feeder. What do i want ask me in a not shy. I have told you already what i really want for Christmas but i never got it. Maybe this time i will. I want you to give me a few hours. Take me and my cumbersome wheelchair to the mall id love to see the lights and hear the music. I would also like to be driven around town so i can see dear Abby the Christmas decorations a then maybe Stop for a hot Cocoa. I would like a Book of postage Stamps a writing Tablet with lines and some Plain envelopes. I would also appreciate a decent ballpoint pen that works and some Telephone coupons so i can make a few Long distance Calls to people i will probably never see again. I would really appreciate a visit from you and other family members a especially my grandchildren who Call and say a Chi grandma. How Are you i love you. Gotta go. See you later. Bye a i would like someone to offer to pay my heating Bill for one month. With five sons sue daughters and 42 grandchildren that  be so hard to do and i sure wish someone would come Over Here and test my smoke alarm. I really do love All of you otherwise Why would i feel free to Tell you what is on my mind grandma letters for this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris 111.61054. 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