European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 07, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Friday january 7,1994 the stars and stripes Page 21 shoe on other foot in t comfortable today s crossword Ann Landers dear Ann Landers when i was single i occasionally went out to dinner and the theater with a married Man who worked in the same office. I did t consider it dating we were just friends. We never actually had an affair but i must admit i was interested in him. I did t ask if his wife knew hews taking me out. Perhaps i did t want the guilt of knowing the answer. I am now married and recently Learned that my husband has been seeing an associate in his firm for Over a year. He insists they Are just friends. I do no feel comfortable with this Friendship since he has lied Tome on several occasions about where he has been and wit whom. I now know How it feels when the shoe is on theother foot. My Trust in my husband has been shaken. I did t give this a thought when i was single and going out innocently with a married Man. I Hope your read ers will learn something from my experience. Alice in Arlington a. Dear Alice there Are Many platonic relationships among co workers but i would wonder about the decency of a married Man who would take a single colleague to Din Ner and the theater while his wife sits at Home Proba Bly with the kids. If your husband is seeing an associate and lying about his whereabouts i suggest that you not be so Pas Sive. Have a showdown and Clear the air. Dear Ann Landers i am the father of two adopted children. We be grafted them onto our family tree As securely As if they had been born to us. They have received sustenance and nourishment from my wife and me and our extended family. Their grandparents Are my Mother and father and my wife s Mother and father. Our Brothers and Sis ters Are their aunts and uncles. Our nephews and nieces Are their cousins. We signed on to become the parents of our daughter and son not Long term baby Sitters. We did not agree to be caretakers until our children could find their real parents. My wife and i Are their real parents. We Are grateful to the birth parents for giving our children life and for their willingness to move put of their lives and give them up. They did a Noble thing for those children and for us. We very much appreciate the fact that they have made no Effort to see the Beautiful children they gave up so unselfishly. We Are also grateful that our children feel that we Are indeed their real parents and have no need to go looking for their fulfilled in Peoria ill. Dear Peoria thank you for writing. Your letter has Given me the Opportunity to attempt once More to set the record straight. It s perfectly of with me if adopted children set put to find their birth parents provided their birth parents Are equally enthusiastic about being found. I am strongly opposed however to any adopted child unilaterally tracking Down his or her birth Mother and disrupting her life. I am also categorically opposed to birth mothers Hunting up the children they agreed to put up for adoption and disrupting their lives. It is Only human for a woman who has Given up her child to wonder what the child looks like and How he or she is getting along in life but unless the adoptive parents and the child Are totally agreeable to the reunion i cannot condone it utters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate explicit assignment puts student on spot dear Abby after being out of work for Many months i was guaranteed a Job with a Small newspaper if i took a course in writing so i enrolled at a Small College in Washington state not far from where i live. Halfway through the course my teacher an attractive 29 year old woman gave me this assignment in her own hand writing write an essay on the first time you made love using contemporary language no euphemisms this was not the first suggestive assignment Shehas Given me i told my teacher i did t car for the assignment but she insisted that in order to pass the course i had to com dear Abby plete it. I want that newspaper Job and i need a passing Grade to get it but things Are getting very Touchy at Home with my wife i am 6.0 years old and to Tell you the truth i can hardly remember the first time i made love so the essay would t be very Good anyway. What should i do on thespot dear on the spot Tell your teacher that you consider her assignment a tasteless invasion of your privacy and unless you Are offered an acceptable alternative you will Appeal to the Dean the president the regents and any others with clout at your College. Letters Tor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . 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