European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 28, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 26 the stars and stripes Friday january 28,1994 commandments for divorced parents today s crossword dear Ann Landers i am a divorce lawyer. Over the years i have read Many letters in your column from divorced mothers and fathers and from their children As Well. I have snared several of those columns with my clients and now i would like to share my thoughts with you readers. May i n.j.m., Rockville my. . With pleasure. Thank you for the Opportunity to pass on some excellent advice. Here it is 12 commandment for divorced parents both of you 1. Never make visitation arrangements directly with children under 12 2. Never suggest visitation arrangements you have not previously discussed with the other Parent. Always confirm with the other Parent any visitation arrange ments made with children 12 and Over. 3. Send and return children who Are clean Well rested and fed. Do not Send or return a sack or suitcase full of soiled clothes. 4. Do not use a Telephone answering device to screen Calls from the other Parent or limit Telephone Ann Landers Access Between your children and the other Parent except after your children s actual bedtime not the bedtime you would like them to have. 5. Do not discuss divorce disputes with your Chil Dren or allow them to hear you discussing your differences regarding them. 6. Do not Send messages or Money with your Chil Dren. .-.-. 7. Do not speak ill of the other Parent. Or of his or her relatives friends or loved ones. 8. Do not ask your children for information about the other Parent s household friends income or activities. 9. Do not believe everything you hear from your a children. -.,10. Do not second guess the other Parent regarding discipline rewards or anything else. 11. Give a sympathetic ear to your children but affirm and reaffirm As often As necessary that you Are not a referee or a mediator Between your children and the other Parent. 12. Be courteous. Do not honk your Horn for your child to come out. Walk to the other Parent s door but Don t go inside unless invited. Have the children ready to go. Always be on time. Smile. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago Iii 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate . Customs service with a smile dear readers yesterday i published letters from readers who had negative experiences with . Customs service. Today we will hear from readers with positive comments be crabby my husband was in the . Air Force stationed in Turkey in 1974. When we returned to the United states after 30 months abroad my Hus band and i and our 6-month-old son arrived at new York s Ken Nedy Airport in a storm that had the whole East coast shut Down so several planes landed at the same time. My husband went to claim our Luggage. When he returned a customs officer approached him and asked if he was military wished us a Welcome Home signed our slips and sent us on our Way. Before you say but he was in uniform because he was military know this personnel returning from Turkey travelled in civilian clothes on . Carriers we did not even have to stand in a line that included people from four full flights that All landed at about the same time. We think kindly of the . Customs service. Mrs. Byron s. Moss Ooltewah Tenn. Dear Abby dear Abby my wife and i recently returned from a three week trip to the Orient arriving at los Angeles International Airport about 11 o clock on a sunday morning. Neither of us was feeling Well haying become sick on the trip. After going through eight rigorous customs immigration inspections at eight different airports in the Orient conducted by Stone faced no conversant customs offi cers the los Angeles officers were a Delight. They welcomed us Back to the .a. With a smile and said they hoped we had had a Nice trip. We did they searched our Luggage adequately but did not give us a hard time about anything. My wife and i feel that we were treated Well by the officers and that not All . Customs service officers need to attend Charm  . Smith Agoura Calif. Dear Abby i am always dismayed when i receive complaints of rude treatment by any of our customs officers. Many problems can be avoided if travellers know what to expect when they encounter the . Custom service at the ports of entry. Abby please ask your readers to pick up a copy of Cranow before you go at their local customs office or write to the following address . Customs service . Box 7407, washing ton . 20044. George j. Weiss commissioner of customs letters for this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris 111.61054. 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