European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 12, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday february 12, 1994 the stars and stripes Page 21 dear Ann Landers i had the scare of my life recently. My husband my 3-year-old daughter and i were heading Home on a major Highway. We saw a car driving within the Speed limit in the left hand Lane. Out of the Blue another car came from behind and tie Driver flashed his High beams a signal for the car in front to get out of. His Way. The first Driver chose to provoke him by staying in the Lane and slowing Down. The second Driver proceeded to tailgate and keep his High beams on. As the two continued this dangerous game i slowed Down and tried to get As far to the # right As possible to avoid the Accident that seemed bound to happen. Sure enough the tailgating car got fed up with the game and swung around in front of the first car. He came so close to hitting him that the first car had to slam on his brakes swerving out of control across two lanes of traffic and headed directly toward us. # i hit my brakes and missed colliding with that car by inches. If there had been another car behind or in front of us we All could have been seriously injured or killed. Please Tell your readers that a Highway is no place to carry on a vendetta with a stranger. Also Tell them that if they have a car phone they a dangerous game should Alert the police whenever they spot an angry maniac at the wheel. Right now i thank god in a still. Alive in Lynnfield mass. Dear Lynn a Cardinal Rule for anyone behind the wheel whenever you spot a reckless Driver put As much Asphalt by. Tween you and the Lunatic As possible. Here a a statistic that bears mentioning relative to what you have written you arc 62 times safer in a plane than you Are on the Highway. As a frequent flier i like those Odds. Dear Ann Landers this is for the woman whose husband was suddenly contacted by a 23-year-old girl who claimed to be his daughter. The lady wants the a a daughter to take a blood test to determine paternity before accepting her As a member of the family. After my experience in a similar situation my advice would be to insist on a blood test immediately. For years we paid child support plus thousands of dollars for extra expenses to my husbands sex wife to support a child who he had been led to believe was his but Wasny to. Been there in Missouri letters to Ann Landers should to addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate today a crossword ways to ease tense confrontations dear Abby a i Hope you will find this item i clipped from the los Angeles times Worth sharing with your readers. I know i found it to be informative. A a. Reader dear . Reader it is and i do. All of us would do Well to copy it tips for neighbourly communication dear Abby Community boards of san Francisco offers these 10 suggestions for managing conflict with neighbors strangers and friends 1. Talk directly. Direct _ conversation is much More effective than sending a letter banging on the Wall throwing a Rock or complaining to everyone else. 2. Choose a Good time. Try to talk in a quiet place where you can both be comfortable and undisturbed for As Long As the discussion takes. Done to approach the other person As he or she is leaving for work or after you be had a terrible Day. 3. Plan ahead. Think out what you want to say ahead of time. State clearly what the problem is and How it affects you. 4. Dont blame or name Call. Antagonizing the other person Only makes it harder for him or her to hear you. 5. Give information. Done to judge or interpret the other persons behaviour. Instead give information about your own situation and feelings and How the persons behaviour affects you. 6. Listen. Give the other person a Chance to Tell his or her Side of the conflict completely. Relax and listen try to learn How the other person feels. 7. Show that you Are listening. Although you May not agree with what is being said Tell the other person that you hear him or her and Are glad that you Are discussing the problem together. 8. Talk it All through. Get All the issues and feelings out into the open. Done to leave out the part that seems too difficult to discuss. 9. Work on a joint solution. Two or More people cooperating Are much More effective than one person telling another to change. Be specific. A i will turn my music off at Midnight is better than a i wont play loud music 10. Follow through. Agree to Check with each other at specific times to make sure that the agreement is still working. Us an Kuchinskas letters Lor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris 111.61054. 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