European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 22, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Friday april 22, 1994 parents worried Afa ouf gift a so dear Ann Landers our son is 13 years old. His Friend Brad is the same age. Brad s parents gave him a ,22-caliber revolver As a gift for Christmas. Brad is a Nice boy and comes from a Good parents work and the child is Home alone a lot. We an live in an affluent area in a country setting where there is almost no husband and i were Horri fied to learn Brad has a revolver. We Are concerned about Ourson s safety when he visits in Brad s Home. We Don t want to jeopardize our son s Friendship with the boy. What should we do Mequon wis. Dea Mequon phone Brad s parents and Tell them in a Low key non confrontational Way that since they gave their son a handgun you Are concerned not Only for your son s safety but for theirs As Well. Ask that they get permission from Brad to put the gun away and take it out Only when they Are at Home. If they Are offended by your suggestion and they might be you must Tell your son that he cannot go to Brad s House but that Brad is Welcome to come to yours any Ann Landers time without the gun of course. Dear Ann Landers i loved your response to sad in she said shews married to a Man for four years there were no Sparks and was so bored she could scream. The revealing part of her Boring marriage was Thatcher husband loved her and was faithful and a Good Vider. Does that dumb Broad have any idea How Man women would give their Eyeteeth for a Man like that i married a Man 18 years ago and there were no Sparks there either. Howard knew it but he still wanted to marry me and be a father to my children girl 11, and a boy 8. I was tired of being alone and having relationship that did t work out so i married this Man for Security. The first year was hell. I knew i needed professional help Howard truly loved me and i simply had to Getty stuff together and make the marriage work. I went to counselling three times a week for several husband never tried to pry or find out what i talked to the doctor about. After a while i found myself volunteering the information. We worked together on my problem and when i got my head on straight i found myself truly Loving this wonderful Man. Sign me thankful in Idaho letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate surrogate mothers Bear another look dear Abby dear Abby i was surprised at your response to the woman who agreed to be a surrogate Mother for a woman who had tried unsuccessfully for 10 years to have a baby. You described the process in charitable term reserved for martyrs and saints. As an attorney who has re searched the subject the matters by no Means As simple and altruistic As that. While you refer to the Cess As a gift to enable a woman to have a child the would be surrogate stated that she would be paid $5,000 at the time of Conception and $5,000 upon the delivery of a healthy nor Mal child. In other words this is not a gift it is a fee for services rendered. Abby if the surrogate Mother is doing this out of the i kindness of her heart she should accept Only reimbursement for medical the cases i have read never has a wealthy woman donated the use of her body to a woman in financial Straits. --.v. Finally carrying and bearing a child for another woman is an emotionally complicated Way to make Money. It is difficult enough to Bear one s own child and situations arise where surrogates do not want to give up the child or children who Are less than perfect quibble Are rejected or where marriages break Down leaving the child in limbo. As things work in our society the Only ones who Benefit Are the lawyers who pick up the pieces. I happen to be a female attorney and member of the new York new Jersey and Maryland bar associations. Name withheld dear name withheld granted the lawyers do Benefit but the couple also benefits by getting a much wanted child. And the Surro Gate Mother not Only benefits monetarily she also gain the satisfaction of knowing she was Able to perform a service for an infertile couple. Dear Abby we really appreciated All the columns on the childless my husband and i Are also a child less couple and we have no regrets. Our reason it so happens was a physical one. James promised his Mother and mine that they would never be put in a nursing Home and he Kep that Promise. We thank the Good lord that we had the time and Energy to care for our moms and give Back totem a part of what they had Given us. If we had children we could not have cared Lor our moms the Way we did. James and Janis Pierce /. Ruston la. Letters for Thi column should a addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount a Paris. 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