European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 9, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Thursday june 9, 1994 the stars and stripes Pago 19 Devotion can be stronger than drugs dear Ann Landers i just found out the Man i be been in love with for three years has been smoking crack since before i met him Ann i have lived with Quot Timmy for More than a year and had no idea immediately moved in together our relationship turned sour. Our sex life was nonexistent because he was zonked five nights out of seven. I caught him in lies and we fought All the time. Timmy was staying out All night and refused to say where he had been. A i suspected he was smoking marijuana because his Best Friend was a pot head but never in my wildest dreams did i imagine he was smoking both marijuana and crack. A Ann i can to believe i was so naive. 1 thought All our problems were caused by the stress _ of adjusting to living together. Our relationship followed a pattern. First i would catch him in a lie and head make up some terrific excuse to cover up. Id forgive him and then it would happen again. I used to get angry then Hurt and finally depressed. Now i am working at resolving my feelings. What bothers me the most is that Timmy a drug habit was destroying our relationship and he knew it but he quit using. My first instinct was to run for my life and never look Back but i do love him and he has asked for my help. He is willing to go to narcotics Anonymous and i am getting counselling to Deal with my feelings i am hoping he will get clean and our relationship will grow stronger. Ann am i being naive again devastated and numb Ann Landers dear d. And a too bad you did no to educate yourself about drugs and what they do to people. You say you were upset that Timmy lied and did no to get off the crack for the Sake of the relationship. Those who Are informed about addiction arc aware that cocaine addicts arc world class liars and the White stuff takes top priority ahead or everything else. There is Hope however. It Timmy continues to go to narcotics Anonymous his chances for recovery Are excellent. Stick with him and bolster his resolve. Good Luck. Dear Ann Landers a Good Friend revealed that she just wrote a new will and named us the Legal guardians of her child upon her death. When i asked a a Peggy Why she did no to select her own parents or a sibling she said we were by far the Best parents she knew and it was comforting to think that if anything happened to her and her husband we would be in charge. It so happens that we have two children of our own we also have two nieces and a Nephew for whom we would be responsible should their parents become incapacitated or incompetent. We Are All in our mid-30s and in excellent health. My husband and i Are flattered that Peggy thinks so highly of us. But her presumptuous Ness Shook us up. When she saw How upset i was she said she would change her will if we asked her to. Frankly Ann we Are not comfortable about making such a commitment. Wed appreciate your advice. A parents in Reserve Arlington a. Dearva what Peggy lacks in judgment she makes up for in chutzpah. Tell her now to give the a a Honor to a family member because you simply cannot handle it. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to hot at . Box 11562, Chicago i. 60611-0562. creators Syndicate a. A a a thank you will never go thankless i dear Abby i know i will never see this in print but i have to get it out of my system. I taught All of my children to write thank you notes As soon As they were Able to print and i was always very prompt with my own. However i have buried two children. One was 20 and the other was 21, and you and a Hundred etiquette experts will never convince me that i should have sent thank you notes to everyone who sent Flowers. For months i did no to even feel like getting out of bed in the morning and there were Days when i did no to know night from Day. Sometimes now More than 20 years later i am still not sure. Abby there is absolutely nothing you can say that dear Abby will make me believe that All those people who sent Flowers and cards expected a thank you note still grieving dear still grieving you have experienced every parents worst Nightmare twice which is More than the human spirit should to expected to endure. Every Parent who has buried a child of any age will sympathize with you. However those who sent Flowers and cards deserve some kind or acknowledgement. Family members and close friends usually Volunteer to handle the task or getting out the thank you notes. Printed expressions of gratitude for All occasions arc available in stationery shops and there Are printers who specialize in personalized thank you cards. Of course a Handwritten note is better but failing to acknowledge expressions of sympathy at All is worse. Letters Lor this column should to addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447. Mount Morris lit. 61054 a. C Universal Pross Syndicate a today a crossword across Ruth a president s depot abbr. 8 takes Blades to Blades 12 Hodgepodge 13 Ali Ort 14 Newman. Nastase 15 bring up 16 to network 17 Sandberg of baseball 18 golfer Greg 33clxi decoupled 39 listening device 40 cartoon Cave boy 42 Bizet. Heroine. 45 one a Munster. 49 brother a of or 50 mimic 52 Wise Man. 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