European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 17, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Father in Law s letters raise Cain dear Ann Landers my father in Law has eight children most of whom Are in their 30s. For the past five years dad has been sending them a journal every month in which he recounts his daily activities. Three years ago his journal took a mean twist. It started with a Litany of who called Home or visited and who sent gifts on family occasions. A month or two before a major Holiday dad uses his journal to push everyone to come visit. He peppers his entries with biblical quotes that admonish children who do not treat their fathers with respect. About a year ago dad began writing Down personal information a one grandsons report card a daughter in Laws Job. Loss and court proceedings on a siblings. Drunken driving charge. Each month my father in Laws journal sets off an explosion of Long winded phone Calls among the children. I done to feel my husbands father has the right to re Ort our personal affairs to the rest of the family. I now i should simply Stop Reading this intrusive self pitying rag but i feel the need to know what is being said about a. This thing is disrupting my marriage because my husband refuses to stand up to his father. He says i am i think the old Man needs to put his pen Down and allow us to live our lives without the guilt and punishment he inflicts when we done to meet his demands for attention. Invaded in Idaho Ann Landers k dear invaded what in a going to suggest will take an enormous amount of self control. Stop Reading that garbage. As i see it the bigger problem is your husbands fear of his controlling vitriolic father. Accept the fact that this will never change and stay off the subject. Dear Ann Landers am i the Only one who is sick and tired of the idea that an invitation from a family member is a subpoena a few months ago i made and paid for plans to go away for a weekend. Shortly after i received an invitation to a family function for that very weekend. Granted the family affair was an important one. It was How Ever totally unexpected and on rather Short notice. When i tried to explain that i had a previous commitment several family members expressed such outrage that i gave in and attended the family function instead of taking my paid for vacation. I always thought an invitation was a request that a person has the right to refuse without caving in to pressure. Do you agree i love Mem but in be got a life too dear love Mem sorry you did no to identify the family affair. If it was the wedding of a brother or sister i certainly feel that should take precedence Over a paid for vacation. Other than such an occasion i would say stick to your plans letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate friends family have right to butt in dear Abby v you recently agreed with a woman divorcing after 25 years that family and friends should a butt out Vand quit trying to save the marriage. I strongly disagree with this advice. Marriage is a contract where both parties pledge themselves a still death do us part a in Many ceremonies the attending guests act As wit Nesses and Are Given a charge to do All they can to support the marriage. Family and friends Are to Call the couple into accountability to keep the holy vows they have taken. The breakup of a marriage is not just a matter for the couple its for family and friends and our whole society. There was a time when friends and relatives would be applauded for reminding the couple of the vows they took. Should i Ever begin to take my marriage vows lightly i Pray that my friends and family will have the courage to speak up and remind me. This is not a abutting in a its their duty Steve Scheuermann Oneida n y. Quibble dear Abby dear or. Scheuermann a couple divorcing after 25 years of marriage should know each other very Well. And who other than they can know the amount of pain and misery they May have endured in their 25-year marriage i stand by my advice to a butt dear Abby please please Rush this information to the woman signed a working in she complained about a very competent intelligent co worker who had a severe Case of body odor underarm deodorants and showers May not help. The offensive odor could be caused by a medical or surgical condition. If that is the Case internal deodorants can solve the problem. Internal deodorants Are chlorophyll tablets one swallows. Do not confuse them with chlorophyll gum one Chews. Chlorophyll tablets Are available without prescription have no Side effects and have been used safely since the late 1940s. The Price is reasonable. A months Supply costs about $16. Betty Chase Springfield to. Letters Lor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . 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