European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 03, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday december 3, 1994 warning signs Moy he a save be dear Ann lancers please Priutt this list of warning signals to Hel women determine if a mate or Date is a potential or actual batterer v 1. Jealousy of your time with co workers Friend Sand family. 2. Controlling behaviour controls your comings and goings and your Money and insists on helping you make personal decisions 3. Isolation. Cuts you off from All supportive resource such As Telephone pals and col leagues at work 4. Blames others for his problems. Unemployment family quarrels everything is your fault 5. Hypersensitivity. Easily upset by annoyances that Are a part of daily life such As being asked to work overtime being asked to help with chores or child care and criticism of any kind 6. Cruelty to animals or children. Insensitive to their pain and suffering May tease and or Hurt children and animals \ 7. Playful use of Force in sex. May throw you Down and hold you during sex. May Start having sex with you when you Are sleeping or demand sex when you Are ill or tired 8. Verbal abuse. Says cruel and hurtful things de grades and humiliates you wakes you up to verbally abuse you or does t let you go to sleep 9. Or. Jekyll and or. Hyde personality. Sudden Ann Landers dear Abby i have never seen my problem addressed in your column and i need your advice. As a child i bit my fingernails and they were ragged and ugly sometimes my Fin Gers bled and i was forever bit ing them. Over the years i be spent a Fortune on products that promised they would give me Long Strong Beautiful nothing worked. About 10 years ago i discovered artificial fingernails. I Learned to apply them so no body could Tell they weren t real unless i told. Now my nails Are truly Beautiful but i hate when someone compliments me Only nails then follows it with dear Abby Are they real or worse yet Are they yours i find this offensive and embarrassing. Also i feel guilty when i lie. Is there some Clever comeback i cause when i m asked these questions offended in Indiana dear offended Don t lie. When someone compliments you on you nails say thanks for the compliment. I did t grow quibble ahh1. Th6 two rum. What a u Jam and . A to off the Pelvit s 5uch a the to Adcook and its it put us a Ftp tag to then z Wear u it mood swings and unpredictable behaviour one min Ute Loving the next minute angry and punitive 10. History of battering. Has hit others but has a Liston excuses for having been pushed Over the 11. Threats of violence. Says ill slap you i la Killyoun or ill break your 12. Breaking or striking objects. Breaks your posses Sions beats on the table with fists throws objects near or at you or your children 13. Uses Force during an argument. Holds you Downor against a Wall pushes shoves slaps or kicks you. This Type of behaviour can easily escalate to choking stabbing or shooting. Ann please Tell your readers they Don t have to accept violent behaviour from anyone mates dates parents or friends. Because nearly half of All american women will be battered at some time in their lives they need to Loikow How to read the warning signs. Tell the help is As close As the Telephone. Any woman who sees herself in the column today should Call the nearest women s crisis line and Tell someone what is happening. She will be provided with support and safety options. There re several ways to break the Cycle of violence and Iden trying the warning signs is the first Ore dear Oregon i Hope the women who Sec themselves in today s column will Check out the nearest women s shelter or Domestic violence hot line and keep the phone number Handy. It could save their lives. Letters to Ann Landers should a addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago Jil 60611-0562. I " c creators Syndicate them i bought them. Aren t they terrific dear Abby a i was recently involved in a situation that has never happened to me before twice in the same week a two separate restaurants Over 200 Miles apart. The server brought my Check to the table and asked if she could take the Money to the cashier for me. I said Fine thank you and gave her paper Money when she returned she handed me Only the paper Money and kept the Coin change. I deducted the change from the tip i would have Given her and left. My question am a behind the times and is this something new that i am not aware of or were these just two isolated cases Over the Hill in Albany Over the Hill these were just two isolated cases and very puzzling ones at that. Food servers As a Rule Are Over worked underpaid and scrupulously for this column should a addressed to dear Abby at p 0. Box 447"mount Morr Isyle. 61054. / _ c Universal press Syndicate the stars and stripes today s crossword Page 25 across 1.trolley. 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