European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 07, 1995, Darmstadt, Hesse Why men Don t dance even though women wish they would by Terry Morris Cox news service Cene 1 Junior High girls dance with each other because the boys Are lining the Walls looking Tough and pretending they prefer each other s company. The girls arc having More fun. Scene 2 a Well dressed Middle aged woman sits at a wedding reception marooned because her Husbard won t go out on the floor n Don t know the Steps he whines. Neither of them is having fun. Scene 3 a group of men is inspecting Power tools when an Impromptu Ballet performance for saturday shoppers at a mall begins. Something instantaneous and non verbal passes Between them leading one to Lisp Ithan t that tweet As they turn Back to the drills Nail guns and compressors if this were a movie the title would be real men Don t dance. But it s life in the United states where most men would rather sit this one out no matter How Happy it would make most women. So who is that hurting in a world wit Many More serious problems and if someone has shown he can move up the corporate ladder or cover a Golf course using his arms less than anyone else Why does he need to dance anyway " or \. Maybe because he s missing something and it s having an effect on us All. There Are Many people who believe just that and Only borne of them arc women. Dermot Burke an athlete turned dancer who s now executive director of the Dayton Ohio Ballet men who can to Don to won t dance Are denying themselves something pleasurable -. George Kinworthy principal Ita Middle school that teaches Square dancing it teaches hand Eye coordination How to take Oral. Directions and the physical activity is excellent i can t say they la be dancing with their wives at 40 or_45/1 ran say. That when they leave this building they have a social skill they can use the rest of their lives ballroom Champion Barbara Mailer of Middletown Ohio a Man who knows How to dance ran make any woman with All that going for it what is it keeps men from darn ing a lot of it i Psi reply not knowing How mixed with even though it can be turn on for women Many men choose not to dance male Pride and insecurity. There s a certain intimacy to having a woman in your arms. Not Many men want to show they Aren t Able to do it says Paul Rasumussen 67 and a lifelong ballroom dancer. Adds Midge Hicks a officer in a group that practices Square round and ethnic dance men Are too afraid to go v out and make a mistake and have people laugh at them r.". Men who study dance whether Ballet or ballroom typically receive special treatment to protect them from ridicule. " couples who sign up for lessons at Many Arthur Murray studios Are Given a handout that includes the following advice in teaching couples we have Learned that men seem to Progress More slowly than do women in addition to learning Steps and timing like the lady " the Man must also understand How to Lead very Early in the process. As a result the lady must remember to be patient with the Man and not expect too too says the handouts Don t always help. _. A lot of times in the beginning you la Bee the ladies just dragging their men around she . But once a men learns he s in charge that he leads everything from when they get up to the movements they re going to do he loves it. Partner dancing in any form is / actually one of the few remaining bastions of male in the old Days All men were dancers. They did War dances Hunting dances and other dances of strength Points _ out Patricia Fox a Community College dance history instructor. Now it s come full Circle. Men who danced Are More Likely to be considered wimps than warriors no matter How Many Mikhail Baryshnikov Patrick Swayzee Jean Claude Van , or Lynn swans put on the tights. L not everyone likes to admit it but " wimp is Fust another word for suspected homosexual. 7 not that All artists Are that Way but there s an image of the men in the arts As being supporters of the homosexual lifestyle says Susanne Davis Oik -1 " dance administrator at Brigham Young University in Provo Utah considered .the.np._1 dance University United sates. To stay in dance a Man needs a Strong self image or he has. To be very but too often men apparently come up Short in both areas and thing they wont to to g to out on the dance floor and r Rove .it.". On the family if Why is Security for a child related to parental discipline and Structure i guess i be been influenced by those who say children should grow up in an atmosphere of Freedom and democracy in the Home. After working with children for decades i could t be More convinced that they draw Confidence from knowing where their boundaries Are and who intends to enforce them. Imagine driving a car Over a Gorge. The Bridge is suspended hundreds of feet above the Canyon floor and As a first time traveler you Are tense As you drive across. Fortunately there Are guardrails on the sides of the Bridge. Even though you Don t plan to hit those protective Walls along the Side you feel More secure just knowing they Are there. The analogy to children has been demonstrated empirically. During the Early Days of Tho progressive education movement one enthusiastic theorist decided to take Down Inq Chain link Fence that surrounded the Nursery school Yard. To thought the children would feel More Freedom of movement without that visible Barrier surrounding them when the Fence was removed however the boys and girls huddled timidly near the Center of the play Yard. Rather than make use of their full Freedom they used even less. There is a Security in defined limits. When the Home atmosphere is As it should be the child lives happily in safety. He never gets in trouble unless he deliberately asks for it and As Long As he stays within the limits there is acceptance. If this is what is. _ meant by democracy in the Home then i favor it. If it Means the absence of boundaries then i am opposed to it. My husband often makes fun of my _ body. I know he s just teasing but it embarrasses me and makes me disinterested in sex. Why can t i just ignore his kidding r because i know he does t want to Hurt me sex for human beings is inseparably connected with our psychological nature especially for women. A woman who feels ugly for example is often too ashamed of her imperfect body to participate in sex without embarrassment. She knows it is impossible to disguise her flabby thighs other peat shaped hips and her flaws interfere with her _. Sensuality. .-._. V likewise the person who feels shy timid and inferior will usually express his or her sexuality in similar terms while a self confident emotionally healthy individual is More Likely to have a spontaneous sex life. You must teach this concept to your husband if possible. Help him to understand that anything reducing your self esteem will probably be translated into bedroom problems. In fact any disrespect that he reveals for you As a person is almost certain to crop up id your physical relationship. Or. Jamos c Dobson is Prsir Joriel o f 9ara to him at i on Tho . P q to 444, Colo do up Iago Colo to j03 saturday january 7, 1995 the stars and stripes 15
