European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 16, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday september 16, 1985 the stars and stripes Page 17 mothers without custody new York times eight years ago Cathy Knapp s husband told her that he had filed Lor divorce and that he wanted custody of their two sons Russell. 10 years old. And Marty 8. I wanted the children but i did t know How i Wasoin Globe Able Toa Flord them Knap Stald. Iwas just a housewife with a High school education. Besides i knew he would outlast me in  Knapp did t fight Lor custody and she believes that was the right decision. Still life without her children has been difficult. So she joined mothers without custody a nonprofit group that began in 1981. It is made up of women who like Knapp have either voluntarily Given up custody of their children or have lost in custody Battles. The women lend support to one another at monthly meetings and talk about their frustrations. Mothers without custody has More than 500 members nationwide and about 25 local chapters. Knapp who joined in 1982, has been president of the National organization since last september. In Knapp s group in Houston a family therapist attends each meeting. Occasionally a lawyer will visit and advise the women of their rights. Most of the women who attend the mothers without custody sessions have voluntarily Given up custody often for financial reasons. If he got Money and she does to she wants her children to have a Little More than the Bare necessities Knapp 40, said. Most of the women realize it would be in the Best interest of the children if he had  mothers without custody also sends out a newsletter six times a year with bits of news helpful to noncustodial mothers including updates or. W is Tody Laws in different states names and addresses of Regie ii directors and local chapters and tetters from members. Recently the group sent out a Tetter to inform schools that noncustodial parents Are permitted by Law to see children s records. For pit Wash 42, her move from Southern Indiana to Chicago was a Factor in a judge s decision to award custody of her 7-year-old son to her former husband. After she lost the suit she said she went through mourning. You feel a tremendous amount of guilt and isolation from society she said you feel something must be wrong with you. That somehow you did something wrong. Whether or not your family and friends say anything you think they Are critical of you. People tend to wonder what you did to deserve  often she says having a Good time can be just As painful. If you find that you can live without your children then you begin to feel guilty Over that she said. The Way society looks at it. It s difficult to feet comfortable in this.  Walsh an associate professor at northeastern Illinois University joined the group Lour years ago. And is now regional director of mothers without custody for the Middle West. I did t think i d Ever meet anybody who did t have custody of her children she said. If nothing else just ppm a Bombeck of All the fears in the world there is none dread More than  is the Lear of having you Driver s License expire and having to Paral Lel Park your car again to pass your test. This in t a confession from your average faint hearted female who Falls apart easily. Pressure is no stranger i be cooked with Julia child. I be stood behind the curtain of the tonight show. I be tried on a bathing suit in Loehmann s Community dressing rooms. But from the very beginning i have found parallel parking to be unnatural. It violates every Rule of reason. I remember the Day my husband gave me my first instructions on How to parallel Park. He said i want you to pull up As closely As you can to that car parked by the  you told me never to do  i said because someone might open a  going to meetings and talking to other women who Don t have their children is an enormous  often women give suggestions on How they have dealt with the pain of no longer living with their children. If someone has a particular problem we try and brainstorm a solution Walsh said. Many that come to the meetings have sex husbands that Are really giving them a hard time changing plans at the last minute sending police if they Are a minute late the whole idea of getting the children on their Side anything you d heard that some women had done to their sex husbands. We Tell them hang in there Don t let it worry you eventually the tact that you have been there and wanted to be there will pay  when Dorothy keel let moved to Washington four years ago. She organized a group of five noncustodial mothers and called it offspring. After she teamed about mothers without custody she merged the two groups. Now. As regional director of mothers without custody for six Eastern states  says her involvement with other noncustodial women has improved her self image. In addition it has enabled her to talk openly about her live children who have lived with their father in Massachusetts since her divorce nine years ago. Membership is $18 a year. In the beginning it was hard for me to let people know that i have five children who Don t live with  Keville said. Now i can talk and brag about  Keville wishes she had known about mothers without custody while she was involved in a suit against her former husband. I regret i did t find someone else to lean on and support me she said. I did t feel like anybody could  experts debate Fertility Aid by Gail Randall United press International a sexually Active Denver woman never expected much More than Relief from bronchitis when her physician prescribed widely available Over the counter cough syrup but soon after taking the medication she became pregnant. The woman had taken Robitussin syrup which contains Quaife Neslyn a common ingredient of Over the counter cough remedies. The substance loosens congestion in the lungs. Specialists such As or. Jerome Check of Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia who use the non prescription drug to help infertile women become pregnant say the expectorant Guai Genesin is a cheap Safe and effective Fertility Aid. Check an associate professor of obstetrics and gynaecology said Small doses of cough syrup or cold capsules containing Gula Genesin can thin cervical mucus which in some women stops sperm irom entering the cervical opening causing infertility. About 30 percent of women with Only a cervical mucus problem will Correct the problem by using Robitussin alone said Check who uses a h. Robins Robitussin cough syrup and Winthrop Breon s Bre Oneson cold capsules in his research. Check said other conventional Fertility treatments can Cost $600 a month but a bottle of Robitussin costs $1.70." other Fertility specialists do not agree the More than 20 Brand name cough remedies and expectorants containing Guai Genesin improve a woman s Chance of becoming pregnant. I have seen nothing to suggest that the use of Guai Genesin improves cervical mucus said or. Anne Wentz. Professor of obstetrics and gynaecology and director of the division of reproductive endocrinology at Vanderbilt University. Wentz said Check s research lacks academic Merit because he did not conduct tests using scientific controls that would identity factors other than cold remedies As reasons women become pregnant. If a person has a headache it is inappropriate to treat the headache until you know the cause of the headache Wentz said. Or. Gilbert Haat jr., associate professor in the department of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at the University of Oklahoma said he is attempting the kind of controlled study to which Wentz referred. None of his patients have become pregnant on the Guai Genesin regimen and Haas says he is very disappointed with the results so  nevertheless or. Joseph Bellina National adviser to the child health and human development Council of the National institutes of health said he recommends the use of Robitussin to a patient at least once a  no one s come up with a better Mousetrap said Bellina. Who also serves As director of the Omega Institute an infertility research and treatment Center in new Orleans. Bellina said it would be impossible to do a study to completely satisfy the academic Community. Infertility Medicine is not an exact science Bellina said. And when a patient gets pregnant she does t give a Damn How it happened. Ust that it did happen he added. The Denver woman who requested anonymity said that she had been very sexually Active for the past eight years without using contraceptives because she assumed that she was Sherfie. However last March after developing a Case of bronchitis her physician put her on Robitussin. She became pregnant soon afterwards. It sure shocked me she said. I can t be sure it it Robitussin caused the pregnancy but it sure is a strange  Check said he thinks there May be a number of women out there who had infertility problems without knowing it who got pregnant with Robitussin and did t know  Helen Cothran. A scientist in the Over the counter Labelling division of the food and drug administration said there Are no plans to relabel any cold remedies that contain Guai Genesin. I can t see relabelling happening any time n the near future Cothran said. We would need some very Good data to change the  just forget what i said and do it he ordered. Now turn your steering wheel to the  if i do that my front end will stick out into the line of traffic and cause an  forget that. Just aim your rear wheel into the curb. Use your mirrors but you told me never to depend on my mirrors but to look Back and  forget All that and ust before you hit the curb turn your steering wheel to the left and ease in until your bumper touches the car behind  but you said  he put his hand Over my Mouth and said do you want to parallel Park or not after my Driver s test 35 years ago i never parallel parked again. I am Here to Tell you it does not restrict you from living a Rich and full life. It s just not that important. Jeanette understood Why i could t come to her brother s funeral when the Only spot left to Park in was on the Street. Getting towed away while i was in a theater because i parked in a lire zone was no big Deal. Actually parallel parking is almost becoming extinct. Most of the shopping centers and lots have pull in parking. There is a reason Lor this. Fewer than 15 peo ple know How to parallel Park in the country today. It s an archaic skill that should be re evaluated by the department of motor vehicles. In my state there is a Law that says ii you have no violations listed on your Driver s License and it is not expired you can have it renewed without taking the test. My birthday is in february. I May just mosey along Over to the Driver s License Bureau and wait. It does t Hurt to renew Early. Besides something could come up. Like the lot would be full and i d have to parallel Park on the Street. C lot Arwe Tei times Syndicate