European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - October 10, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns hooked on fishing photo by Gus Schueller they re off and running in new Hampshire by John Windrow sum columnist this is an outrage. Howard Baker the former Tennessee senator and Senate majority Leader has journeyed to new Hampshire to kick off the 1988 presidential Campaign. The Granite state s primary is one of America s More absurd and lamentable events featuring a Host of political Hacks and opportunists who tramp through the snows and ice from town meetings to Chicken Coop to town meeting begging for the votes of mail carriers one horse town mayors and Swine fanciers. The politicians Are followed by thousands of newshounds approximately one for every two new Hampshire residents who desperately try to find something to report to an indifferent Public. The Public in its Wisdom finds the entire scenario a crushing bore since the new Hampshire primary comes nearly a. Year before the presidential election. The world can turn on its head in that time and often does. A War May break out in the Middle East. Allied governments May come tumbling Down. Four or five Kremlin leaders May be carried to the Boneyard. The new Hampshire primary looms on the horizon like the scheduled visit of a lose stupefying relative Only two years and three months away. At least we can lose ourselves in the 19b5, 1986 and 1987 world series before the vote if enough major leagues Are out on parole from drug charges and can be excused from testifying against the pushers who Supply them with cocaine. What has possessed Howard Baker from All reports a decent and humane Man to Start this dreary process 27 months ahead of time he has already spoken at the University of new Hampshire where no doubt people major in the history of the new Hampshire Chicken arid several Republican rallies. An associated press reporter probably suicidal at the Prospect of spending the next two years watching Howard Baker shake the Hon is of new Hampshire Dairy Farmers asked Why. The answer it s ridiculous Tobes Tartini this Early said do vol , or. Baiter s press Secretary. We re ill going to be exhausted and broke before we re Hal Evjy through president Reagan s second  one can Only Pray that or. Spear is Correct. The depressing report explained that Baker was starting because everyone else is about to Start and people might think the Tennessee Republican was t serious about running if he did t get going. I m sure there exists a Small coterie of political junkies who Tingle at the thought of watching smiling by d office seekers give Mushy evasive answers to to reporters dumb questions three years before the november 19kb elections. However any sane person  to Slit k his hit in the nearest oven at the Prospect. I m sure there Are ome wonderful people in new Hampshire but this Gigantic fraud has gone on Long enough.  is so dad blamed important about new Hampshire when the  is rocked by scandal or crisis do the networks dispatch hordes of reporters to get the new i Hampshire reaction do the russians Ever threaten Labomb new Hampshire has new f Fain Shire Ever sent a team to the world series is there a trashy to soap opera about powerful new Hampshire tycoons and their Beautiful women called Concord if we Don t do something soon presidential elections Are going to be like professional basketball. The exhibition season will begin immediately after the championship series ends. It look an awful lot of time Money and Effort to elect Ronald Reagan to a second four year term. That term is now in its 10th month. Let s let things simmer Down for a while. We should scrap the entire primary system and choose presidents by some Gigantic nationwide to screen test. We elected Reagan because he looks Good and sounds reassuring on to. Why make people visit some faraway place like new Hampshire to be on to looking Good and sounding reassuring who knows Robert Redford May make a great president. And if new Hampshire does t like it they can take their four electoral College votes and defect to Canada. They re much closer to Ottawa than they Are to Washington anyway. October 10,1ss stripes Magazine