European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 01, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 columns the stars and stripes Friday november 1, 1985 truck Drivers know How of eat by Russell Baker new York 1 had never eaten where inc truck Drivers cat. All my life i had meant to. Eat where the truck Drivers cat is one of the first maxims Ever american learns when he first takes to the Road but i had never done it. Maybe i was scared. Truck Drivers Are mythic he men in american lore. Maybe i was r Little uneasy about pulling into a place where the truck Drivers cat. 1figured they might not like having their restaurants invaded by the kind of Man who wears a Watermelon Colo Rcd sports shirt and drives a six Cylinder Sedan with an automatic transmission. Yes. That was it. In my mental picture file truck Driver looked very much like a character named Bluto in the old pop Cyc comic strip and Bluto looked As if he could play the entire offensive line for the Chicago bears. Subconsciously i probably feared having one of these plutos Challenge my right o eat where truckers eat. Any Man driving an automatic transmission he would say. Has to beat me at Arm wrestling before he can cat where the truck Drivers  Well not to make too much or my cowardice i have eaten some incredibly bad food at franchised Highway restaurants solely because they seemed hospitable tothe kind of people who Wear Watermelon coloured shirts. Which is to say. The kind of people who Don t make fuss when their veal sea lopping arrives looking As if it could be either beef Stew under water or sch. Never mind. I am struggling to describe my diner last sat urday at a franchised restaurant near a Crandon. Pa.,and thinking about it is making me queasy. Sunday morning with Scranton far behind i resolve to cat breakfast in a place where the truck Drivers eat. I had recently discovered a Cousin who was a truck  looked no More like Bluto than i do. The average place where the truck Drivers eat i figured probably has a lot of truck Drivers inside who Are no better at orm or Cellini than i am. Besides i had recently seen something on television suggesting that truck Drivers Are devout Church going people. Though it was hard squaring this information with us Csc i d heard about the teamsters Union sunday morning seemed like the most propitious time to try eating where the truck Drivers cat. Sure enough pretty soon Over he Mountain rises this huge sign telling of the easy availability of diesel fuel and Home cooked food. We re going to eat where the truck Drivers eat told my wife. If it s As bad As last night s dinner she said i going to bring mine outside and pour it in their Gas  inside was full of big men. Big big men. Several Randell Over 300 pounds and caught your attention right away because of the intensity with which they we retaking aboard eggs mingled with slabs of Ham Bacon and sausage and the heroism with which the chair supporting them refused to collapse. There were a few women too. Although All were Inich heavyweight class 190 pounds and up since they were not tattooed i assumed they weren t truck  were a few men pretty obviously Drivers who were lean but packing Down breakfast like men we Odin t expect to cat again in the present lifetime. Not a soul among them showed any interest in a strange wearing a Watermelon coloured sport shirt. Menus arrived. I had t seen menus like that Ever at any time at any place on any Road Inah the years i have passed up chances to eat where the truck driven eat. Here were people who had never heard of cholesterol or who if they had had said life is too Short to spend eating lettuce when you can get two biscuits covered with sausage Gravy topped by two farm fresh eggs sunny Side up and flanked by a Quarter Pound of Home Fried  even the Home Fries taste real said my wife. I was deep in a stack of pancakes with butter an Maple syrup topped by three eggs Over easy and four slices of Bacon with four pieces of Toast drenched in real butter and so had t the Energy for conversation. That s All there is to say. I finally ate where the truck Drivers eat and eat and eat. I have probably eaten several hours right off my life but it was Worth it and i d like to Doit again some time if my appetite returns. Since sunday s breakfast. I Haven t Felt the need to eat a bite. C new York to Lett who needs a Royal invitation by Art Buchwald everyone in Washington is talking about the visit of Prince Charles and Princess i later this month. Mos people arc behaving like idiots trying to wangle an invitation to one of the glittery affairs. I m Happy to report that my wife and i could t care less. I never was big for Royalty i said to her As we roasted potatoes in the fireplace. Me neither she said. If you be seen one Prince of Wales you be seen them  the thing to do is not answer the phone for a  if Buckingham Palace Calls we can always say we were out i  they deliver the invitation by hand i saw a Wigg Ca Footman in the neighbourhood yesterday. He was Only two mocks  Don t open the door. Once Royalty serves you Withan invitation you have  i Don t know Why the Giris who patronize my beaut parlor Are making such a fuss my wife said. After All the Prince and Princess Are just like any Young married couple having marital problems. I read in people mag Azine that Charles and i Aren t getting along. She keeps going out until 4 in the morning and he keeps falling off his horse. They say that i has fired All Ocharles servants As Well As his private  that s what you Call Tough love i  did they say about the Prince besides inc fact that he keeps falling off his horse he s lonely and bored. The reason is that his Mother won t give him anything to do. Queen Elizabeth is keep ing a Light rein on the throne. The Prince has no duties and series to be out of  i m Gish we re not going to any of the parties be cause we oui pvt have anything to discuss with him i  re not supposed to talk to Royalty unless they talk to you first she told  did you her that i read in in Mia  Well if you can t tart to them what s the big de labout getting invited to a party the National enquirer said that although you can talk you can stare at them my wife said. Why do people kill to go to that kind of Bash i guess it s just u say they be been  Are you sorry you weren t invited i asked  course not. What woman wants logo to the trouble of buying a Brand new evening gown and Silver shoes just to meet the next King of England when she can stay Home in her Bathrobe and watch dynasty on that is Xac Lefor two chairs at to a redskins game. Did the mail come today yes it s Over  anything in in nol  i pecked out inc window. Maybe inc British embassy does l know where we  c lot Anet left Tom in the Way i feel. Let other people . Pc Nncy s. I d rather have two seats Mia Huff Tow to mfr. Off Tho today s crossword across i Hammer skjold 4 Cut off7 latin music12 Frost by Eugene Sheffer 48 Pierre 2 be trouble 24 acre some rash ii 8 Gaggle m and nonmembers 4 brain Pat Curie wife 47zumer 48 making Deris make lace18 mine find 88e.t., leg. 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