European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 12, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns America s first dog does a disappearing act by John Windrow staff columnist it grieves me deeply to say this but i fear that the first first dog has met with foul play. I refer to Lucky the first first dog who used to frolic in the White House. I am not talking about the Royal pretender. Rex the usurper a King Charles Spaniel now being seen at All while House photo opportunities. Consider this dec. 5 dispatch from United press International president Reagan gave his Wile an Early Christmas present a new dog to replace Lucky the Rowdy Black sheepdog with the puddle problem who was exiled to dog heaven in California last week. Dog heaven could it be that the White House press manipulators afraid to speak the unspeakable to a Public of animal lovers Are using some political double talk Here later in the same Story we have this sentence i Lucky left town with the reagans on their California thanksgiving trip and never returned. So. Lucky went for a Little ride never to return and now she s in dog heaven he we might As Well face the awful truth. Lucky has probably been rubbed out. Why because she had a puddle problem a variation on the old White House leaks embarrassment. Lucky being a real dog relieved herself on the Tarmac at Point Mug after disembarking from the White House helicopter with the president on the other end of the Leash. Some overzealous staffer decided that photo opportunities could no longer be spoiled by Lucky if we still lived in the age of the written word Lucky might not have been so unlucky. In the television age he puddle problem was right there in the living room of or. And mrs. America tit dinner time when everyone was watching the evening news. The camera never blinks As Dapper Dan rather says. It is exceedingly difficult to explain the animal worship that has gripped America. Humphrey the Humpback whale who displayed stunning navigational incompetence by steaming up the Sacramento River garnered nearly As much Media attention As the colombian Volcano that wiped out 28,000 people. After All people Are animals too need i even mention the Cage Side Vigil and weekly updates As a fretful nation Waits for the giant pandas to reproduce at the Washington zoo is it Ling Ling or Hsing Hsing i can never recall. Our most popular toy the cabbage Patch doll looks much More like an animal than a human being. A Man named Herbert Bressack is running an adopt a cow program on his farm in port Royal Penn. The whale Center in san Francisco will let you adopt a Gray whale for Only $50 a year. For your Money you will be1 allowed to choose and name a whale from the group s collection of 1,000  i quote the associated press you will Ilso receive an adoption certificate pictures histories of the whales if known and records of  All that for Only $50? the whale Center will spend the Money to fight for whale rights. As for adopting a whale i am reminded of . Field s joke about women and elephants i like to look at pm but i would t want to own  would Princess i enjoy her Rabid popularity with the press and the Public if she were the Princess of just Plain folks instead of the Princess of Wales i think not. One can easily see Why the White House photo Opportunity arrangers arc Terri find that the Public May become suspicious about Lucky s vanishing act. As for the second first dog Rex is a Spaniel that the president got from columnist William Buckley. I assume the canine Only utters five syllable barks. And the White House photo Opportunity czars Are already crowing about the second first dog having no puddle problem. We have a name for King Charles spaniels Back in Tennessee. We Call them Sissy dogs. Who wants the president running around with a Sissy dog what next a poodle the russians Are probably laughing their brains out. And where is Lucky Why Haven t we seen a photo of her in the newspapers for Days America wants to know. Dog heaven indeed. Treating rudeness with rudeness in t proper by miss manners United feature Syndicate would t you think that knowing that one has behaved Well under trying circumstances would be its own Reward in t it enough of a satisfaction when you have been badly treated to know that you have nevertheless kept your own dignity and manners Don t be silly. Even miss manners does t expect to Palm that one off. Self admiration is a wonderful thing but you also want people sorry for being Nasty to you and to require them to treat you Well. That is Why she has always taken pains to explain that Good manners do not mean allowing oneself to be trampled by those who Are bad mannered. The Choice is not As Many people seem to suppose Between being a polite victim and turning hide too in order to defend oneself. In fact she believes that defensive politeness can be infinitely More effective than retaliatory rudeness. One Why thank you very much to the person who tells you you re getting fat is Worth More than a dozen putdown in kind which Only serve to prove that you too think the personal insult an acceptable social form. But that system of dealing with rudeness is designed to be used against individuals. One cannot use it effectively against institutions or the individual representatives of such. The former Are impervious to shame and the latter usually claim they had nothing to do with your problem and weren t even there that  manners is sadly aware that being rude often gets results from offending institutions when being polite does not. Several people of her acquaintance have explained to her How to get a hotel room when As Only too commonly happens you arrive late at night when there is nowhere else to go and arc told by an indifferent clerk that your reservation has been loot or Given away. Tell him All right then i la sleep in the lobby and Start taking off your clothes miss manners was told. Funny thing they always manage then to find you a  somehow miss manners has never managed to follow these directions. Therefore she has been several times stranded because no one has bothered to listen to insistence and indignation when they were politely if firmly delivered. And speaking of delivery miss manners spent nearly a week calling to complain that her morning newspaper was not being delivered without any results. A kindhearted circulation department employee finally took pity on her and explained that the system was set up so that Little action was taken until the complainer had called several times and could be characterized As irate. Do you mean to say miss manners inquired in her wee Ladylike voice that people who Are driven berserk by this system and Start screaming Are the ones whose problems get solved indeed that was what he regretfully meant to say. So miss manners asked timidly if he would be so kind As to put her Down As having been loud and obscene and he gallantly promised to do this. Miss manners has read of a recommendation for getting out of bureaucratic tangles in departing from foreign countries that one stands in the Airport and scream until allowed or perhaps even encouraged to leave. She has heard countless stories of people Yelling so much in stores that they received service not because service was due but because the stores Felt that the presence of screaming customers was undesirable. As much As All this shocks and saddens miss manners it will never Lead her to employ rudeness in the cause of combating rudeness. The satisfaction from behaving Well does mean something and she is not willing Logie it up. She wishes instead to Appeal to the better feelings of those who establish the rules in institutions for handling complaints. Please do not Leach your Public to be rude by ignoring legitimately stated complaints and producing redress Only for those who behave outrageously. The More you Reward rudeness in this Way the More rudeness you will get. Those people miss manners described were not congenitally rude they admitted to seeming out of control sometimes As an act when they were not really angry because they knew that was the Only Way to get results. Soon All your customers will be behaving like that because those few who refuse to do so will have gone sadly away empty handed. Dear miss manners after 40 years of marriage my husband left me for a younger woman. I shall not bother you with the heartaches a divorce brings for an elderly woman but i Don t need the extra Hurt i feel each time 1 get a letter or Christmas card with no  or  in front of my name. I am a grandmother and suddenly i have become genderless. One does not drop  when writing to a divorced Man. Gentle Reader ii May not Lessen the Hurt for you to know thai the charmless custom of dropping honorific for ladies is spreading nearly everywhere but you should at least realize that it is not confined to divorcees. The fact is that no two people can agree on How to address businesswomen married women divorcees widows has miss manner left anyone out miss manners is afraid you will have to instruct people How you wish to be addressed. Put it on the return envelope of your cards and Hope they will notice. Feeling incorrect f address your etiquette question to miss manners in care of the Stan and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces. D december 12,1985 stripes Magazine