European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 27, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 14 the stars and stripes Friday december 27, 1985 columns today s crossword Bow ing night and the Var blues by Russell Baker i recently bought a Var so i could go to my thursday night Bowling club again. I d Given up Bowling because of Hill Street  Hill str Cal blues is my favorite to show. Except of course for any show introduced by afe Tair Cooke Sun Day nights on Public television. I personally consider Mill Street blues in a class with the great Perry Mason shows of my childhood which starred the Young Raymond Burro. My childhood did t Star Raymond Burr. Perry Mason starred Raymond Burr. As you can see just thinking about these truly great to shows unsettles me so thai i can t even remember who starred in my child Hood you can undo round. Then we i la Given up m t hursd.1 night Bowling club. I like in think that some a we ii inc do in life Stor on sunday night Public television. Alt Scur c we will introduce in by i Ien he will probably be too old to play me As a child alas and i d like him in say something like this though utterly devoted to his Bowling club his Dis covery of a new crime series in prime time commercial television hours which seemed in 3 class with the great Perry Mason and to series which like his Bowling club demanded his thursday nights put him in a dread Ful . I realize or. Cooke might want to Neaton up that sentence bul the essential facts arc there and or. Cooke is nobody s fool. He will say it right if i bowled. 1 missed my favorite show. There was no doubt who had first claim on my loyalty for though Raymond Burr had not starred in my child Hood neither had Bowling. Now the Var it is a Miracle the Salesman said. Thanks to his Miracle you can bowl on thursday and come Home to find your beloved cops recorder on video tape so that you can watch the show when you want to watch not when the cops want you to  so 1 bought and Learned to work my Var. Learned to set a clock so that at 10 . Thursday next. Mid clock would make the machine tune to the Channel carrying my favorite show record that Channel for precisely m minutes and thereafter turn itself  thai mattered j went Bowling on a thursday my comrades other men unable to hit the curve Ball too timid to court compound fractures greeted me wit Good Humoured jests about was i still dreaming of Palm ing off illiterate sentences on Alistair Cooke and so Forth until naturally they asked How had i been Able to give up Hill Street blues they were  in hear of my Var. Promptly Al 10 . My Var would Slart la record would it and Cut itself off promptly at ii a  1 said unaware that president Reagan had chosen that very thursday to command 30 minutes of television time Early in the evening that the networks would consequently move Back i he slaying times of All shows by 50 minutes and. My Var obediently Cut itself off at 11 . With 30 minutes of Hill Street blues still to come. What kind of president do we have does t he realize these last minute to appearances make a mess of the nation s Var programming and they say he knows show Busi Ness. Hah a few weeks later i lost the end of Alistair Cooke s Bleak House in the same Way because of one of those infernal incessant fund raising appeals that infest Public television. Like almost All miracles the Var needs to Goback to the drawing Board. It needs fail Safe protections against nuisances like presidents and those Public television Money badgers. For now i Don t dare  new Yore times service Bob Hope thanks for the memory by Art Bitch Wald the hit number of the recent Kennedy Center Honor show was a rousing tribute to Bob Hope. Veterans from our past wars came on stage identified where they had seen Hope entertain saluted and said thanks for the  in is almost impossible to have served in any . Conflict since Pearl Harbor without having seen Bob Hope. My memory goes Back to 1�44. I was stationed on a piece of Coral in the Marshall islands with 3,000 marines soldiers and be abcs. We were in charge of guard ing empty sea lanes for a War that had passed us by. We lived in tents played volleyball produced homemade Raisin whiskey and made souvenirs of japanese hags which we sold to Navy ships anchored in the Lagoon. The important thing to remember h thai our tent had no floor. This made it quite Muddy during the Rainy season which made our toes go squish squish in the night with the Rainy season approaching we decided to take action and gel ourselves a wooden floor. The question was How to do it. Cooper said the seances had plywood stashed away on the Western Side of the Island. Brinker Hoff said the army always left their truck keys in the ignition. Farhart reported he could borrow All the tools we needed from the armory. The rest of us became part of a commando group whose Mission was to capture the plywood without inc seances being any inc Wiser. The operation was a Success and by Dawn the Wood was stashed in our tent. The next step was to gel the floor built before the seances discovered the theft. First we levelled the ground and Laid out the foundation with two by fours also stolen. This took us the better part of the morning. We whistled while we worked until Schulman rushed in and yelled. Bob Hope is on the Island with his show half my Len mates dropped their tools and started to change clothes. Hey Guys we have to get the floor  1 said. They say he brought five showgirls Schulman said. The other half dropped their tools. Hold it 1 said. If we Don t get this floor Laid the Navy maps will find the Wood and Well not Only lose it but be chopping rocks in the  Carroll said we be been deprived of everything thai is Good about America. Don t make us give up Bob Hope  i told them this is a gift from heaven. We can install the whole thing while Hope is performing. Please Guys you can Tec Bob Hope and showgirls any Day of the week. But How often can you get a Brand new plywood floor Cooper said i m going to inc  Farhart nodded my Mother would never forgive me if i did t  Brinkerhoff said we owe it to All Ilie people who have made the Uso whal it is  i did t want to do it but i had no Choice. Somebody had to beat Tome sense into them. I stood in front of the tent raised my fists and said anyone who wants logo to tic Bob Hope show has to Light me  Cooper shrugged his shoulders and hit me in the Stom Ach. While i was on one knee Brinkerhoff got me in the jaw. Schulman sent a Roundhouse to the ribs and far Harl tried to see which Eye he could close first. Then Cooper started to play soccer with my Groin. In one Way or another they All made their Point and there was nothing for me to do but fold up my Lent and follow my buddies to the show. We came Back three hours later our morale soaring and our Faith in american women restored. It Only took us until Midnight to lie on the floor. It a a Day 1 will always remember. So even though my Groin Mill hurts thanks for the memories. C ims lot Ango Idi times Syndicate hjikfwlllof.1bobc5a6w, wwsc4vksomsse. By Eugene Sheffer across 1  4 i f. 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