European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 6, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns considering Wall Street nothing makes sense by John Windrow staff columnist news item the Stock Market responding to widely circulated reports that John Windrow had a violent argument with Abdul his moroccan bartender fell sharply today in moderate trading. Explanations or the unexpected drop varied but the general consensus seemed to be Best expressed by Wall Street seer . Wac Morton. Or. Windrow is a common Man wac Morton said some might say dreadfully common. If he has had a falling out with his bartender he s unhappy. If he is unhappy his Confidence in himself is shaken. And if the common Man is losing his Confidence what can the Market do but fall like a crippled Bird sounds farfetched you say farfetched but not impossible. Who would make so bold As to say he understands what makes economic news Good or ill what if All the seers pundits prophets analysts forecasters High risk arbitrageurs indexers and business writers Don t know what in the Blue eyed world they re doing what if they just think they Doi i used my High level hush hush connections to secure an interview with Wall Street s most influential business writer and was whisked to Gotham on a luxurious Mac flight. I soon arrived at a gleaming Black Granite skyscraper whose Crown was lost in the smoggy skies above Manhattan. I showed my appointment card to the haughty Doorman who immediately changed his attitude As he deferentially escorted me to the elevator. I tried hard to assume the manner of a Man who was weary of being surrounded by cringing underlings. Once in the Penthouse suite office who do i see grinning fiendishly behind the Long mahogany desk but the Prince of darkness. Lucifer i cried it s you who turns out to be the most powerful business writer in the Western satan smiled modestly and picked at his wicked Sharp Teeth with a curved Fingernail. It passes the Lime he said. I had expected to see confusing charts on the Walls ticker tapes furiously spitting out prices stacked tomes on pork futures and housing starts. I expected harried messengers running in and out to the jangling of telephones. None of that was there. How do you Analyse the Market i asked him do the big boys at the fed give you inside information the Devil chuckled. Not really he said. Let s suppose the president wakes up with the gout. If the Market Falls i write the Stock Market showing concern for the president s gout fell today " but what if the Market goes up i said cleverly. Beelzebub cracked his Knuckles. Sparks and flames sprayed out from his hands then i write Wall Street unshaken by by the president s gout chugged steadily Onward today exhibiting the strength of the current Bull Market " that s it i said incredulously. He nodded his horned head. Then nothing makes any sense i complained. Old Nick raised his eyebrows. A he said it All makes perfect sense once you can see the big being no fool i had come armed with keen incisive questions. Why i asked him did the Market fall on news that unemployment went Down in december the fiend held up one red calloused Finger. Someone pointed out that since unemployment decreased the government would t lower interest rates to stimulate the he said. The Market does t like High interests rates i pressed on. Why has the falling Price of Oil scared the Market so if Oil prices go Down we can finally whip open and have cheap gasoline and heating Oil shrewd observers raised attention to the fact that big Banks that had advanced huge Loans to Many Oil producing companies would have trouble collecting he said sweetly. If the arabs lose their stranglehold on the West the West May face a banking i have one last question i said wearily. Why docs the Market go up when the National football conference wins the super bowl satan smiled. I can t Tell you that he said. I have to have a few i was More perplexed than Ever. Do you mean that i should get Down on my Knees at night and Pray for More unemployment open and the Chicago bears let me do that he said soothingly. Thai s the Devil s i was rattled. Boy could i use a drink i said. But i d heard Lucifer said feigning concern that you d had a falling out with your of i just made that up i said. Good satan said impish by. Perhaps the Market will go there is a set of rules for talking at a party by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners in gatherings of More than a Tew people i always feel Gawky at a loss trying to talk or listen to people on both sides of me. I m rude or feel so either to the one talking to me or to the one left in silence on the other Side of me. This is True when i m at a table or standing. Others appear to be it ease i am not. I hate big formal parties of any kind How do you include everyone on All sides i leave feeling As if my head were on a Lazy Susan and As if i really Haven t been Able to make anyone Happy to be with me. Gentle Reader the big formal party has a big formal Rule to Cope with exactly this problem. It is called turning the when you sit Down the hostess is supposed to open a conversation with the gentleman on her right and the entire table turns like dominoes Halfway through she reverses everyone. When there is a breakdown stranded guests Are supposed to attach themselves boldly to the appropriate partner or they must affect an immense in Erest in the wanderings of their peas around plates. Should you be forced to talk to both lean Back a fait in your seat but then at the first Opportunity Call out to someone on the other Side of one of your neighbors and draw him into the conversation so you May soon desert that neighbor for your other one. Dear miss manners my mobility is Beverly limited As a result of multiple sclerosis which i have had for several years. When i am out in my motorized wheelchair going shopping to Church or to restaurants children stare. Adults do too but they try to hide it some of the children smile sweetly and to those i usually smile Back and say do you like my cart then they give me a Grin and feel better about me. When one child asked his father Why is she Riding in that the father replied so she can come out and see All the pretty things How Nicel he made me feel better and did his child a world of Good. But some children laugh and Giggle and Point thus creating a scene that makes me uncomfortable. While i was out shopping last week looking through the Racks in the dress department some children laughed and followed me looking through the Racks and saying to one another Here she the parents said nothing. I was so embarrassed i left the store. Children Are naturally curious. But what has happened to parents who teach them the Courtesy to go with this another time i was shopping and one woman said to another do you think she needs that wheelchair the other replied no she s probably just there Are so Many tragic implications in the Public s attitude toward handicaps and those who have them. People who Are More self conscious than i become prisoners and Don t go out. Gentle Reader everyone is naturally curious. But that is no excuse for being rude. Miss manners happens to think that society has created the underlying problem Here by segregating the disabled to an extent that they Are an unusual sight and hence the object of curiosity. If these children who annoyed you normally attended school with children in wheelchairs they would not be so unpleasantly attentive to you. But is also the responsibility of parents to teach their children to Rise above the natural rudeness of curiosity. The father you mentioned did it particularly Well by drawing his child s attention to the normality of going out and away from the detail of your method of mobility. Polite people Are always More interested in the positive qualities of others rather than their disabilities. Dear miss manners is it proper to bring a gift to a birthday party anniversary party etc., if the invitation says please omit gift even if the person is a special Friend gentle Reader it is no favor to a Friend to sabotage such a deliberate Effort to relieve the other guests of doubts about what is expected. If he is that special a Friend Why can t you just Send him a present outside of the party Reni any 6,1986 stripes Magazine
