European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 24, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes monday february 24, 19b6 America buy if or leave it by Russell Baker since everything is Tor Sale these Days i was t sur prised by Julian l. Simon s idea Tor Selling foreigners the right to emigrate to the United states. He wants the government to till its immigration quota by Selling to the High bidders. Simon who is associated with the University of Maryland the heritage foundation and the Cato Institute is close to having a Good idea. Close but not quite there. Explaining himself in a recent article he wrote for the of cd Page of the new York times he no cd that sell ing immigration rights would meet the Standard of a Market oriented society ability and willingness to pay and be fair too since it would give All the world s people equal Opportunity to buy into the . You can t quarrel with that especially with president Reagan working so hard to replace government with a free marketplace and i m not inclined to. If they want a crack at becoming americans let them pay for it i say. I suppose most of us feel like that nowadays. There s no free lunch As the Reagan philosophers say Why should there be any free America obviously there should t. Simon s idea could be More than a statement of the obvious though if pursued to its logical conclusion. It is this if you be got to pay to get in you be got to pay to stay in. At present the country is swarming with people a great Many of whom i regret to say Call themselves american citizens who do not meet the Standard of a Market oriented society ability and willingness to pay for living Here. Why do we let these people stay because for decades we have been afflicted with politicians too Nimby Pamby to apply Market principles to the free lunch Bunch. All they had to do was Amend the Constitution to state hat citizenship does t entitle you to stay in the United states unless you can pay. Just because you re a citizen does t entitle you to a free lunch docs it then Why should it entitle you take up valuable american space for which people from else where would pay Good Money this is the question that soft headed politicians of the past half Century have recoiled from answering. Per haps now that we have a Market oriented government in the White House men with political courage May be willing to act. Maybe this is the purpose of Simon s seemingly innocuous idea for Selling immigration rights. Perhaps he Hopes to stimulate White House thinkers to move on to the larger idea namely those who can t pay can t stay. Or perhaps. Just perhaps. Simon is floating a trial balloon for the president. Perhaps the decision has already been made to adopt a Market oriented Popula Tion policy if the Public will approve. How better to test the Public mood than by floating a few proposals for making America a Cash on the barrel had proposition i merely speculate understand. Still consider the benefits of shipping out everybody who does t Ante up for the right to stay Here. One it will not Only make More room for Well heeled foreigners but also reduce the tax costs of supporting the unproductive thus making the United states an even More attractive immigration buy to even More Well heeled foreigners. Two it will make the country much prettier. Remo Val of the Market disoriented segment of the population will Clear the cities of such repellent sights As homeless paupers maniacs and Idle men drinking from bottles wrapped in dirty paper bags thus making America More alluring to Rich foreign tourists. Three foreign Moneybags who once said America is a Nice place to visit but 1 would t want to live there among All those bag ladies will change their tune and ignite a bidding War with other Rich foreigners that could drive immigration rights prices higher than Man Hattan real estate. All very Well someone will say but where shall we ship these citizens who can t meet the standards of the Market oriented society for they will remain citizens. Never doubt it. Though inability to meet marketplace standards leaves them unable to afford the United states no one wants to treat them badly. They remain citizens with the right to buy their Way Back into the country if they become Able and willing to meet the Price. Until that time a place will be found for them. Where i can Only guess but watching the administration s doings in the Mediterranean lately who can help noticing that someone in the White House seems Strang Ely bemused by vast thinly populated Libya c new York times prepositions parallelism do the Job by James Kilpatrick let me Harp anew on two old themes. One is the Nice use of parallelism the other is the misuse of the noun As an adjective. My text comes from this sentence in a 1968 study of political re apportionment without a fair Opportunity to elect representatives Freedom of political association yields no policy technically speaking there is nothing wrong with that sentence but notice How it can be improved with a Little tinkering. The trouble with policy fruits is that an innocent noun policy has been press ganged into service As an adjective. There s no absolute Rule against this. Indeed in such phrases As Stone Wall Deer crossing and Street musician the construction is inescapable. In this instance see How a simple preposition helps we will make it read fruits of policy. Now we have Freedom of political association yields no fruit of we have a measure of parallelism by balancing of association with of policy. Let us tinker once More. We need something to bal Ance suppose we insert the sentence now reads without a fair Opportunity to elect representatives Freedom of political association yields no fruits of governmental it s a Clumsy word. Perhaps Public would be better in part because of the alliterative effect Freedom of political association yields no fruits of Public there the writer who believes he saves space by hiring nouns to work As adjectives is pursuing a false Economy. The National Law journal recently carried a Story on a renewed decision of the Iowa supreme court Banning dramatization in advertising by lawyers. This was the leaser Over the principal headline Iowa court again finds abuse what s an abuse risk in Parade Magazine Walter Scott declined to identify several professional athletes said to be using cocaine but he said the rumours should Alert the players to the danger of Public exposure and resultant career dam my Contention is that risk of abuse and dam age to their careers would be Ever so much better. Department of wrong words not Long ago the news Star world of Monroe la., carried a picture of members of the Grambling marching band. They had Laid aside their tubas to go through their the writer of the caption had a Nice Pun these March ing musicians were alas the instruments in the photo weren t tubas. They were sousaphone. Finally let me Salute the Michigan reporter who came up with this vivid description of a fight Between two local antagonists both parties were Sci mortally wounded in a fuselage of you just can t hardly find sentences like that no More. 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