European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 28, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday february 28,1986 one Small cheer for an imbecile by Eugene Sheffer by Ellen Goodman Alvin c. Frost is my kind or Guy. Computer literate 38 years old. Feisty. And conveniently absent minded. Frost was working in the Middle level microchips of District of Columbia finances when he got into some thing of a soil not Long ago. He wrote a letter of protest to the mayor and somebody broke into his queue and printed out copies of it. Frost then took it into his head to change the password that allowed anyone Access into the computer program that oversees the City s financial life. This action alone was enough to chill the soul of a supervisor. But it got worse. Frost let the password Drift Back out of his head. Frost when the Bass and then Media came around asking him for the Good word he said i can t indeed All he could recall was that the password had seven letters and was inspired by the declaration of Independence. Could the word have been tyranny perhaps or perfidy mis superiors then did what rulers do. They escalated. They called him names a nerd and an imbecile they issued him a reprimand. They locked him out of his office. And finally they got somebody else to break the code. But none of that could change the Pristine Beauty of the moment. All by himself Alvin c. Frost froze a chunk of the government of he capital of the free world. He did it with seven Little letters inspired by Thomas Jefferson warfare perhaps or redress i can t prove that Frost was subversive instead of happily forgetful but either Way he pulled off a great computer coup. For that i m inclined to sign my John Hancock on his declaration of Independence. I find a perverse pleasure in identifying with any Guy who throws a Monkey wrench into the machinery especially when the machinery is on Micro chips. Maybe the right word is Justice like my Friend Frost you Sec i work with computers although i m not really a worker anymore. I am a user. It says that in he instruction manual. For that matter Frost and i and All of us arc barely even citizens anymore. We Are entries. In an average week without a single hostile encounter i am now required to remember and to give up no less than two secret words just to perform my Basic functions. At the office where the computer knows me As user Goosma i need one password to log on to what is called the system a sinister i tech political term if i Ever heard one. At the computer Wall where i go for Money i refuse to Call it a Banki need another. The Wall will Only give me Cash if i give it my word. We make a Deal. It s All very hush hush. At night i cannot even get in my door unless i give the House the password. If i forget an alarm goes off and a computer sics the police on me As if i were an Ordinary Felon. That is nothing compared to the number of numbers i am required to stand and deliver to other computers on demand. The social Security administration has Given me one num Ber the Telephone company another Blue Cross a third american express a fourth and that does t include my frequent flyers Savages tyrants the fact is that i Don t know anyone who in t a system user and or system used these Days. King George Iii was a pussycat compared to the tireless elec tronic Rule which in or. Jefferson s declaration now evinces a design to reduce us under absolute Des evinces is a seven letter word so it is no wonder that Alvin Frost has become something of a modern times hero. Basking in the celebrity of his Selec Tive amnesia. Frost boasts that he programmed yet More glitches into the City s computer. Furthermore the Man now says that he is considering running for mayor. Well i say hang on to your floppy disk. We May have the first candidate who Ever hacked his Way into history. Allow me one cheer or at least a chortle for Alvin Frost the populist for the eighties a nerd an imbecile who has found the software Underbelly of America. America c Boiton Globe Wuhl Noemi Pott cashing in on High connections by Art Buci Iwald there has been some huffing and puffing in washing ton lately about former White House employees rep resenting foreign governments whose policies May not jibe with those of the a United states. The governments Are paying Juicy fees not Only for advice but for what they believe is the car of a person or persons now working a 1600 Pennsylvania ave. When i accused Myron slea knife a former Doorknob polisher at the White House of putting his client before his country he denied it. I have never used my connections High though they May be to attract business for my Public relations firm he said. Then Why docs your Telephone play Hail to the chief when the receptionist puts someone on hold the song came with the office when we moved in. The press must get it through their Heads that when we left the White Louse we Cut All our ties with Ron and Nancy i mean president and mrs. Reagan and we have no More influence there than any other lobbyist of Republican persuasion. We be gone to extremes to make sure no one thinks we have ties to the Oval then Why arc you sen ing Coffee in an air Force one Mug i asked. We bought these at a Camp David garage Sale. Frankly we re in a spot because some people believe we have a White House connection. It hurts business As our clients Are afraid Well lean Over backwards not to use our contacts. We would never do what do you do we help people. Take my recent client the exalted emperor of holi Hola known As Black dog. His majesty came to us and said be realized he has a popularity problem in the United states because he tortures and throws opposition leaders into jail. He said since i know what the thinking on despots is in the White House i would be perfect to handle his Public relations. There was Only one problem with Black dog his image. How could 1 turn it around overnight then it came to me As i was dozing off in the Lincoln bedroom. The next morning i held a press conference at the West Wing Gate of the White House and announced that Black dog had just been chosen Freedom fighter of the year in holi Hola. I pointed out that As a Freedom fighter Black dog is innocent since he Only beats up on opposition leaders to Send a message to commies in the that is one of the most Brilliant Public relations campaigns i be Ever Beard of i said. Did the administration go along with it they would have except for Artie Windowsill who left the White House about the same time i did to open his own or firm. Artie signed up general of fat who had been fighting in the Boondocks for seven years to Over throw Black dog. Windowsill without checking with anybody declared of fat Freedom fighter of the year which got the president mad As Beck because he did t even know where holi Hola has anything been decided not yet. It depends on who win of the it sounds like Vou run a real fun not All the time. Sometimes there is tremendous pressure. We be just signed up a new foreign client. They re trying to get the defense department to drop All Export regulations on supersonic computer gear. They retouch How do you know i was the White House aide who wrote them. That s Why they hired me to overturn can you really get the regulations changed i Don t know but i m going to give it the old Rose Garden try. 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