European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 10, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Monday March 10, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers your advice to the woman who asked if she should give her Lovely Home to a daughter and son in Law in return for their Promise to care for her in her old age was Correct but not nearly Strong enough. Suppose the daughter is killed in an Accident or Dies of natural causes and her husband remarries. Will her son in Law and his new wife feel an obligation to take care of the lady in her old age what if the daughter and her husband Are killed in an Accident and leave everything including the House to their children will they take care of grandma what if they simply get tired of caring for her or they and grandma have a serious falling out when All these possibilities Are considered the right answer becomes evident. In my Long years of Legal practice i knew Many people who trusted too much and regretted it deeply. The moral of the Story is that time changes people and people change their minds. Sign me e v Buffalo n a dear . The specifics you mention Are All Possi Bilies. I Hope the Mother who wrote sees your letter and hangs on to her Home. Dear Ann Landers i was interested in the letter from slow Burn in  she had Given her Boss an expensive gift for Christmas and he gave her a Jar of Honey that was so old it crystallized. As a spokesperson for the Honey Industry it is my duty to inform the Public that Honey never spoils. In fact a Jar of Honey at least 2,000 years old was found recently and it was still Good. Crystallized Honey is very easy to Relique by. Simply put the Jar of Honey in a pan of warm water about 97 degrees for an hour and it will return to its natural consistency. In ancient times a gift of Honey was considered a thoughtful and significant gift. Instill is. Buzzing in  Buzz granted you know More about this subject than i do but i would not serve a Jar of 2,000-year-old Honey to my guests nor would i eat it myself. Not when i can buy a new Jar for 89 cents. Dear Ann Landers my wife 43, is dying of lung cancer. We have three children the youngest 12. Mary has been smoking at least two packs of cigarettes a Day since she was in High school. I never smoked and begged her to Stop Long before we knew cigarette smok ing caused lung cancer heart trouble emphysema and other physical problems. She told me to quit nagging that smoking relaxed her and i should t interfere with her pleasure. When the surgeon general s re port came out proving cigarettes were kill ers she still refused to quit. I was furious. Now i am filled with mixed emotions that Are driving me crazy. Secretly i m glad my wife got what was coming to her be cause she defied me for so Many years. I am also filled with rage that i will be left to raise these kids alone. At the same time i love the woman and am heartsick at losing her. Please help me sort things out. Or. An town  an town All your feelings Are understandable but i urge you to seek professional counselling. Guilt vengeance and bitterness can be enor Mously destructive to you and your Chil Dren. You must get rid of them. Reminder All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the write Rand must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters but we will withhold you name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. Writers reply to critic of confidentiality of teen clinic this is in reply to a Parent s letter  testing confidentiality of teen clinic records. I agree that this practice does interfere with healthy Parent child relationships. Not All Parent child communication is open and Loving but this is a problem for counselling not usurping parental rights and responsibilities. The writer then goes on to imply school culpability for the rising incidence of teen pregnancies and venereal disease. I think she needs to look elsewhere for the culprit. Our communications Media Are Satu rated with sex and violence to the Point that i find it necessary As a mature adult to ignore most movies and video tapes magazines and Best seller books. I also have to limit magazines newspapers and radio consumption for my mental health. Self censorship. As to the teaching of sex from Kinder Garten through 12th Grade i cannot help wondering where her children went to school. I raised nine children All of whom attended Public schools in los Angeles calif., a notoriously Liberal area. None of them had any sex instruction on any level before reaching the sixth Grade and then Only with films  approved by the parents giving information on Basic physiological functions and stressing that sex is for adults mature and responsible enough to marry before beginning a family. I have taught for 14 years now in Kinder Garten first second third and sixth grades in los Angeles Iceland and Germany. In none of these school districts have i or my colleagues usurped parental obligation to educate their children regarding sexual responsibility. I have never shown a film or used a text Book that was not approved by parents and in answering questions i have always stressed responsibility of persons engaging in sexual activity. I have never shown a film dealing with the body s reproductive functions to Chil Dren below sixth Grade level to a mixed audience or without signed consent forms. My colleagues have been equally careful to preserve reticence and avoid interfering with parental prerogatives. If More parents would visit their Chil Dren s schools and inquire As to what their children Are being taught there would be less misinformation circulated by parents toothed parents. Also As parents we need to Monitor our children s intake of junk messages from the Media. Dawn Williams Schweinfurt Germany i wish that i d had a clinic or someone to talk to about sex and birth control when i was in my Early teens. I am now 18 years old and have been married for eight months. My father never discussed it with me or my two Sisters but Felt my Mother should talk with us. My Mother would t talk about sex because she was one who believed it would encourage unto try it. Writer believes or. William Mayer s assurances of continued medical support for retirees certainly eased my fears and restored my Faith believe but then i also believed when for promised i will not Send your sons to fight. When lbs s administration promised it would t remove Silver from our coinage when Congress promised retire ment pay would be computed As a percent age of Active duty pay assured the draft would be fairly administered champs would refund without hassle a reasonable percentage of our medical expenses and medicare would be the equal of Cham pus thank god i be other coverage. Of yes i believe i believe i believe . Chamberlain Heilbronn Germany so sex education in schools was very rewarding to me. Venereal diseases were Learned about in a mixed classroom but the atmosphere was serious. Birth control was Learned from classes and partners. If 1 had not been told in the fourth fifth and sixth grades about my menstruating Cycle i would t have known exactly what to do. When i began taking birth control pills two years ago it was without my parents knowledge. I told them shortly before i was married. My father had suspected and was glad i had the brains and knowledge to protect myself. My Mother still won t Dis cuss it past one word phrases and Small sentences. I have no children yet but i Hope that the outcries of pig headed and stubborn parents will not get sex education thrown out of our schools. As for the confidentiality of medi Cal records i Hope they stay that Way. Barbara Bray Ramstein a Germany As a school nurse and health educator with 11 years of experience in Dodds i feel impelled to respond to the Points made in the recent letter. She made some very Strong assertions that in my experience simply Are not True. Teen clinics have been established for students to allow timely Access to medical evaluation and care while at the same time encouraging teen agers to understand and become More responsible for their own health. After Allisn t that what school is All about Don t we Send children to school to prepare them for adulthood through the acquisition of knowledge about themselves and the outside world knowledge about self includes the body How it works and How to take care of it. There has to be a time when Young adults take on some responsibility for the care of their own bodies and leaving that to after High school graduation is a Little late. Teen clinics provide a valuable service to meet this need. I wish sex education was covered comprehensively in kindergarten through Grade 12. The United states has More pregnant teen agers than almost All other developed nations of the world while falling Way be Hind in educating our children about How their bodies work and How to protect them selves against unwanted pregnancies an disease. As if now stands sex education programs Are sporadically taught with some children becoming better informed about their own developing and changing bodies than others. Sex education is not taught As a lab course the emphasis is not on How to do it or that abstinence is abnormal. Rather the emphasis is on puberty changes changes in feeling about self and others developing responsibility for self behaving responsibly resisting peer pressure under standing about human reproduction and the responsibilities of raising children As Well As increasing knowledge about sexually transmitted diseases to include our new killer aids. It is unrealistic to think teen agers will not engage in some level of physical con tact with members of the opposite sex. Their bodies Are physically ready even if they Are not emotionally mature or economically self sufficient. They Are con stantly sexually stimulated by advertising movies to musical lyrics and their own body hormones. As educators we Are not Bent on sexually stimulating students in our school  Grams. We encourage modesty in behaviour and dress. And we absolutely do not dispense contraceptives in the school nurses office epidemic Levels of sexually transmitted diseases and rising teen age pregnancy rates Are the results of a Lack of a comprehensive sex education program in our schools. Connecting teen suicides to sex education is really grasping for straws. Frances f. Sabin Sembach a Germany. I take objection to your statement that some inhibitions arc Good for  i have no idea what inhibitions you moan. If discussing facts is. Fiction is bad then i feel sorry for any teens you have. Those fictions making the rounds arc part of what get children in trouble. If their exposure to the truth about sexual matters makes you think that children will race right out to test their new knowledge you Don t give them enough credit for hav ing sense. The Contention that teens Are shown films wit i teen actors demonstrating masturbation is accusing the teachers of show ing pornography. Next saying fifth graders Are taught the mechanics seems to be going Loo far. When 1 was in College films showed fully clothed teens discussing their Pijue Pitons and problems with a doctor. No mechanics involved. Just a Frank discussion of what different sexually transmitted diseases were what the symptoms and cures were. I also saw a filmed birth in High school. I did t run out and go to bed with anyone. It is much More sensible to let these teens know what sex is and generally what the consequences arc and to let them know How yes How to avoid these problems by abstinence common sense and knowledge. I believe teens who have their Heads on straight will decide to wait when they arc shown what can go wrong a night of pleasure is. A lifetime of regret. Barbara c. Alvarez Aschaffenbur Germany the St is a european edition capt Dale k. Patterson us editor in chief cmdr Jeffrey s. Zakem us Sepulv editor in chief . Blackwell m. Proctor . Mcdermott production manager managing de. Circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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