European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 3, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns Bubba was always bubbling up with mischief by Paul Bourgeois staff writer Bubba is Loose i screamed the message into the Telephone. My terrified wife barred the windows and doors and was later found hiding in the rear of a closet with a Large Hunting knife poised for action. As the police reporter in a Small City in South Louisiana i had daily encounters with killers robbers and rapists. How can you stand it she shuddered. They re All so i never told her so but i loved it. 1 adored the Gutter. I was in my element. A few months after i took Over the Job the publisher called me into his office and asked if i had any idea Why we sold out of papers on mondays but no other Day. It s Bubba i said. Bubba was legend. A police reporter s dream. Everything Bubba said everything Bubba did was news big news. Our readers knew of Bubba s exploits. On weekends he hit his stride and monday s paper always had his latest adventure. Bubba shoots brother s Arm off Bubba bites Alligator to death Bubba knifes Man who stole his Bubba had the soul of a romantic the body of a Gorilla and temper of a mad dog. I interviewed Bubba in the Hospital after he had gone a few rounds with a local motorcycle gang the wheelers. He claimed he put several bikers in the Hospital but the bloody mess that had been his face told another Story. Two Days later the phone rings at the office. This is he was angry. You made me look stupid in the newspaper for the Sake of color i had printed Bubba s quotes Complete with phrases such As dem bikers and a whoever had read the article to Bubba apparently read it exactly As written. A Mon Bubba it s not that Don t forget said Bubba i know where you live weeks passed Bubba healed and the adventures continued. It was nothing for Bubba to spend a week or two in jail now and then everyone expected it. But we also expected that eventually something worse would happen and it did Bubba killed a Man in a knife fight Over a woman. The police blotter described the woman 5-foot 3 175 pounds Black hair 29 years old broken nose scar on left Cheek Tattoo Over left breast says Bubba Calls herself Bubba was awaiting trial. It was a sunny Day and the Warden decided the let the boys exercise on the roof of the jail a three Story White columned building that looks a Little like Tara in Cone with the wind. The inmates called it two guards were on duty another led the prisoners through the workout. They were running in formation from one Edge of the roof to the other. The guard yelled Bubba did t. He ran right off the roof sailed Down into a Shrub and without missing a beat High tailed it across the courthouse parking lot. He leaped into a car stopped for a red Light slapped the Middle aged woman into the Back seat and burned rubber for three blocks. The police radio lit up. Police dispatchers yelled orders to every unit within 30 Miles. I called Home. Bubba s escaped and he knows where we live my wife dropped the Telephone. I could hear her rummaging through a Kitchen drawer for a big knife. I Hung up and headed for a Roadblock being set up North of the City. The police radio in my car screeched that the woman was found bruised and bleeding in a ditch North of town. I was headed in the right direction. I arrived just in time to see Bubba s car rocketing around a curve. He hit the brakes for an instant but realizing it was too late floored the v-8. He sliced through the two state police units parked across the Blacktop but the second wave another six police units stopped him cold. I be seen pictures of Bonnie and Clyde s car after they were ambushed but it was trifling compared to the Buckshot and Rifle fire unloaded into Bubba s car. The gunfire died Down after about five minutes. There had been no order to cease fire. They had simply run out of ammo. I saw the headline Bubba Dies in Blaze of but As flak jacketed troopers converged on the soldering Hulk a raised hand slowly appeared though an eight Inch wide Hole blown into one of the doors. Twenty cops snapped their gunfights on the Hole. Of Bubba get outta there he appeared slowly. He was Pale and scared but then something clicked and his face broke into a wide Grin. Bubba laughed. They cops were puzzled at first but then the source of Bubba s amusement dawned on them their guns were empty. The next Day it was decided that Bubba would be sent to a new jail 30 or 40 Miles away. Time passed Bubba and i lost touch and we no longer sold out of papers on mondays. Some months later though i heard that another escape attempt had failed and that an inmate had been assaulted and Bubba was the gang Leader. Bubba was sent to the state prison. Some months later his cellmate was found hanged. A few weeks after i d read that Bubba was on death Row i got a Call at Home. It was Bubba s dad. I had never met the Man. He d been drinking. He s really not a bad boy you i heard myself saying yeah i sure he was wild he liked the girls. Things just got out of hand. I Don t know what i could have yeah i know i said again. Things just got out of hand. You know he really was a Good boy he said. He loved his there Are ways to control husband poaching by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners a Young woman member of a professional organization my husband belongs to is blatantly interested in married men. I became aware of this one evening when my husband called to say he would drop by her House to Check it out for a cocktail party for the group and would be Home around 7 or 7 30. He arrived Home around Midnight. He was accompanied by another officer of the group so i was not too worried but i was a Little. While driving the other gentleman s wife to the ensuing social gathering to join our husbands i voiced some concern about the morals of this Young woman. At the gathering my suspicions were borne out however her attentions were directed toward my Friend s husband not mine. Despite the gentleman s repeatedly introducing his wife to the Young person she ignored the wife and continually Hung on his words rubbed his Back massaged his neck and several times approached him from behind and hugged him. He did ask her politely to Stop. I resorted to humor and remarked that i did not want to say she was cheap but i had noticed a parking meter next to her bed and a condom machine in the bathroom. Since then my husband and the other gentlemen have quoted this quite a bit laughing hysterically. Normally miss manners i do not say such vulgar things but i really Felt provoked. Now i understand i am to encounter her at a Small Brunch next sunday. Must i speak to her or May i ignore her she has turned her attentions to another married Man a Good Friend who has several Small children. Is there any Point in suggesting to her that she turn her attentions to unmarried men my husband wants to have a party for the group at our Home. I do not see How we could avoid having her. May i ignore her then nothing overtly rude you understand i just Don t want to Welcome her into my Home. Gentle Reader whatever Success this person has in luring married gentlemen into sin she certainly is succeeding in making you behave badly. By your own admission you have already succumbed to vulgarity and now you Are considering cutting your husband s colleague at a party and snubbing your own guest in your own House. And incidentally if she is As bad As you say you Are probably amusing and encouraging her. A lady cannot police her husband s party behaviour much less that of anybody else s husband however numerous and Small his children. She will Only make a fool of herself while alerting others including the husband and whatever predators he attracts that he cannot be trusted to behave himself without strict supervision. A great Many people male and female take that As a Challenge. You can however act As your husband s confidential adviser and Tell him in a spirit of Trust How to control distasteful overtures. That he May not have known he found them distasteful until you cheerfully assumed so is irrelevant. Suggest that he perhaps with other gentlemen in the organization remind her that these Little gatherings Are More professional than social and inform her that they find the atmosphere spoiled by her unprofessional behaviour. However much she enjoys threatening other people s marriages she will not care to threaten her own career. Have an etiquette question address letters to miss manners in care of the stars and stripes. Apo 09211, . Forces. April 3,1986 stripes Magazine
