European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 23, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes wednesday april 23. 1986 columns life s mishaps just Aren f insurable by Andy Rooney there s no such thing As living without taking some risks and if you take risks the Law of averages makes it certain that you la lose every once in a while. It s too bad we Ever got the idea we could insure or assure ourselves against All bad things that might happen to us. The idea has created a Legal monster for the court system and a financial monster of insurance payments for All of us. We refuse to accept the fact that some things happen to people for which there is no recourse. There is not Money enough in the world to pay for All the sadness we suffer. There in t Gold enough in the ground to make everyone who has Ever been permanently disabled feel better about it. And yet that s what judges and juries keep trying to do by handing out million Dollar liability judgments. The insurance situation is out of hand. It s natural and popular to blame the insurance companies but it in t usually their fault it s our own. We have a disease that s become an epidemic called  the carriers of the disease Are lawyers. There is a certain Small group of lawyers who encourage people to sue any individual com Pany institution or government that might conceivably be to blame for something that has happened to them. Several months ago i bought a football helmet for a piece i was doing for television. I was shocked that the helmet Cost $150. Why was the helmet so expensive about one third of that Price the manufacturer told me is for insurance premiums. There Are lawyers who go to High school football games just to see kids get Hurt. Then they go to the boy s parents and suggest that they have a Case against the school or the makers of the equip ment for  the lawyer does t charge the parents a fee instead he takes As much As half of any winning judgment. His interest in t Justice it s Money. Ladder companies Are frequent targets for lawsuits. There is a Small company that makes ladders on a Road i travel frequently in the summer so i called and talked to the president. Who knows i thought maybe i can get Rich. Three years ago i fell off a ladder when i did a really stupid thing that was totally my own fault. Maybe i can sue i said to myself. Last year the president told me we were sued by someone who fell off a ladder we made 35 years ago when my father was president of this  ski resorts Are charging $25 to $35 for a lift ticket for one Day because their insurance costs them so much. In Yellowstone National Park people can no longer hike on a Quarter of the Good trails and they May remove All the bears from the Park because someone who was attacked by a Bear on one of those trails is suing for millions. Doctors in the United states hardly dare practice some areas of Medicine because of the Cost of malpractice insurance and there Are communities where a woman can t have a baby delivered because obstetricians have been forced out of business by the High Price of malpractice insurance. Even lawyers and insurance companies have been put out of business by malpractice suits. In hundreds of Little towns taxpayers Are putting out More Money this year for insurance premiums than they Are for police and fire Protection. There s something wrong there. Jurors Are handing out million Dollar judgments every Day. Twelve people faced with the sad fact of one life at least partially destroyed by an Accident usually vote in favor of the individual and against the impersonal company City or institution. It s natural for compassionate peo ple to do that. The fact of the matter is though it is not the company the City or the institution that is paying the million Dol Lars. The victims Are All of us. C Tribune Media services a great Day for gun control foes by Art by Schwald it was Happy hour at the of Corral Saloon on Capi Tol Hill. The place was jammed with its usual 5 o clock crowd when the tall lobbyist with the White hat strode to the bar and said drinks on the House for  we filled up and then turned to the stranger. And what Victory might we be toasting someone asked. Congress just said goodbye to the 1968 gun control act. I m with the National hair trigger association and this is a great Day for my  i did t know the hair trigger manufacturers had their own  a yes. We be always had a Strong interest in a weak gun Law. The easier it is to buy guns the More hair Trig Gers we re going to sell. I was Given $1 million to make sure the people s representatives would vote the american Way. Fill up everybody. This is the last of my Money.1 he started to sing a gun for me and a gun for you. And a gun to shoot your neighbor  All of us have seen lobbyists celebrate when they got a Bill through but it was nothing compared to this. How come the police departments were against you peo ple weakening the gun Bill Tom the bartender asked. The stranger said cops Don t know any thing about guns. All they run up against Are the criminal elements who use weapons to commit crimes. They never see the Law abiding people who buy their handguns to Hunt and  fish dont Tell me you never shot a fish with a .38? the important thing to remember is that under the old Law you could t even bring a gun from one state to another. Dealers were responsible for keeping records of who bought handguns and ammunition. Do you know what this meant for thousands of gun shop owners what it meant paperwork. These Good merchants used to have to stay up All night Long trying to remember who bought a gun and who bought ammunition. We got All that red tape eliminated and from Here on out you re going to see a Boom in the Sale of every Type of firearm. Drink up friends the Constitution is alive and Well in the hair trigger  How did you get Congress to knuckle under to a weak gun control Law the stranger winked. Let s say we just sent the legislators a message. If they did t vote to Reform the 1968 act we would Send our people into their districts and Riddle them with innuendos. On the other hand if they promised to be Good boys and support us we would make a donation to their favorite political Charity. One More for the Road men. Then i must make the rounds of the Halls of Congress to drop some goodies on those who backed our Bill and Mark a red x on the doors of those who lost their  the Man plunked $1,000 on the bar. I raised my Glass. To Good sport i said. We drank. Someone shouted death to All gun  the stranger was t drinking. He said we can t have that. The threat of stronger gun control Bills keeps the National hair trigger association alive. Our members would refuse to provide us with Money if they thought the Battle was All  and How do you keep the threat going i asked. By putting out the word to our members that the Law enforcement people Are mad As hell at us and Aren t going to take it  the Man exited through the swinging doors. Who was that stranger who was just Here someone asked. That was no stranger the bartender replied. That was the Leader of the  c los Angeles times a Pyou p�m�m0erm� Peanh Onby take kit 5 a re Back. At the col-i�&5. You vib Bern Unck 7h� influence of a Zombie compound. To re 60 in6tomiopryyou out. ? today s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 1 Spanish room 5 restau rant Check 8 biblical name 12 bakery fixture 13 Large Bird 14 become sullen 15 fit nicely 17 level 18 soft Copal 19 engenders 21 picnic play Wright 24 curve 25 nothing in Madrid 28 algerian seaport 30 Kimono Sash 33 self 34 crushing Snake 35 asian festival 36 hebrew letter 37 pith 38 tissue 39 Tokyo earlier 41 Jacob brother 43 purify 46 ole50 woodwind 51 Short billed auks 54 horse s gait55 Milkfish 56 Ferber or Millay 57 drunkards 58 satisfied 59 time period solution time 26 min. Down soft drink 2 Strat Ford s river3 son of Jacob 4 blood deficiency 5 after noon party 6 French Friend 7 Tulip source 8 Arab ruler Var. 9 Bird House Matei Gorle i is yesterday s answer 4-23 10 mimicked 11 farm layers 16 Sambuck 20 Frog Genus 22 desert in Asia 23 appearing eaten25 dog Catcher Sneed 26 turkish officer 27 wild Geranium 29 quantities abbr. 31 Barbara Geddes 32 Call Day 34 athletic contest 38 table Bird 40 reduces calories 42 Burrows 43 decays 44 River in Spain 45 dutch treat 47 assistant 48 Cava 49 eskers 52 be in debt 53 Cistern 25 33 36 43 50 54 St 26 44 27 39 21 40 34 37 22 28 45 51 55 58 23 41 52 20 24 29 53 42 46 56 59 10 11 30 35 47 31 32 48 49 4-23 Hubert aul housewives that feel life just pick mow what out of 15 that Law relax drop Pepay Napkin