European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 20, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns a great meal that never made it to the Grill by John Windrow Magazine editor i went thick to lie Stales this month to give away my baby sister in holy Matrimony. She s 27, which is considered mighty Ripe Back in Tennessee and Iho family was jubilant. A tremendous Celebration was in order. Before i departed i was silting at the news desk one play with my old pal frenchy. Naturally talk turned to my upcoming trip. You la be Here during he hoopla Over the 1oth anniversary of the King s death frenchy said. You can file an exclusive from Graceland for  frenchy takes Elvis very seriously. He has a poster Over his bed showing Elvis being greeted at the Pearly gales by Hank Williams. He has ally he albums. A porcelain bust of Elvis Sils atop his favorite piece of furniture the refrigerator. One of frenchy s cousins quit a Good Job As an Oyster shucker in Louisiana and moved to Memphis to be closer to Graceland. Sorry i said but there won t be any Lime. My Mother has a cast of thousands on hand for this wedding. My every breathing waking moment for the whole 10 Days has been planned and set in Cement for months by  frenchy started muttering through his Beard about people who Don t have a shred of news judgment. Besides i said look at this supermarket newspaper one of my pals Back in South Texas sent me. It says right on the front Page in red Type that the King is  frenchy grabbed it. So he said it says he s living on an Island in the Pacific. I la bet Jimmy Hoffa i out there  he kept leafing through the Magazine. Hey he said did you ". This Story a nut the woman wrestler in Russia who was thrown into the cheap Simk  birth to a 50-Pound  in front of the horrified fans and then crawled  into the ring to defeat her opponent  that Magazine will cover the wedding said Southern weddings can get pretty  Lull. Judi Iii ii m v�ih1-i 1-m1� &1 you know the guests might Start shooting at each other or something like that. There la  be several car  "what1 s your Mother serving for the reception Frency Slid pulling on his Beard Possum and Beer i be Laid you Many limes frenchy the windrows eat Coon or nothing at All. We re very Touchy about  Coon and Beer the French one said Salmon and Champagne i said a bit haughtily. She s pulling out All the  suddenly frenchy s face lit up. Wait a minute he said you could bring me Back a Possum i be always wanted to Barbecue one for the  i can see the headline now i said " monster Hubby kills family with Poison Possum " no i m serious frenchy said. Possum is one of the few things i be never  obviously you be never eaten one i said or you would t be pestering me to bring you  pester me he did until finally i agreed. You want Melo bring a few boxes of Possum Helper i said. What s Latr frenchy saw. Possum Helper said. You know like hamburger Helper. They sell in in All the stores Back Home. It comes in 50-Pound  fifty pounds frenchy i said it takes a lot to help a  he said he d make do with his own secret Barbecue sauce. T wrote my old pal Nec Twisler Byers and told him i d be needing a Possum to take Back to  i was Back in the Volunteer slate he me me on the court House Square with a Possum in a Cage in the Back of his pickup. There is nothing in the world that can beat a Possum for bail looks and i his one a is ugly even for a Possum. His skin was ugly. His Piggy Little ears were ugly. Ditto for his squinty red eyes stained Teeth Long Snake Tail and and hairy belly twist i said Thanki for Roins to m much trouble. Especially oui of  to weren l no trouble Nec Twisler said. I knew he was being modest because Nec Twisler weighs More than 30o. Lust getting his boots on in the morning is a Heap of trouble. He has to special order his coveralls from a shop for the very Large and tall in Atlanta. But Nec Twisler explained to me that he had come by a new Possum dog named Zeke. This particular hound could climb Trees . The dog would climb up on a limb and snarl at the Possum. Then the Possum played Possum usually falling out of the tree when he relaxed his grip. Zeke would make his Way Back to Terra Firma pick the Possum up in his Mouth and bring him to his master Nec Twisler. " Don t even Bolher to go out in the Woods no More neck twister said. He grinned showing several Gold Teeth and leaned against his truck which sagged menacingly beneath his weight. I just Park the truck Light a fire and Sil Down to wait. Old Zeke got this one right after i received your letter. I be had him penned up behind the House fattening him up t fed the pos surn on stuffed dates and commeal every Day. He got so lame. I could Lead him around on a Leash. Thai s the Way 1 decided to Lake him Back to frenchy. I d Tell the customs people at the Airport he was a dog. An old fat terrier that i was delivering to my Greal aunt in Frankfurt. He could ride beneath my Seal on the plane and that would save me the trouble of checking him in As Luggage. We were All set. I even put dark glasses on him in Case anybody might be Able to recognize him As a  went like clockwork until we got to the Memphis Airport. I was gelling the bags out of the car and the Possum spied a Little Gid eat no an ice Cream Cone. Possums Are notorious trash dealers and he hinged for her. I did t have any idea anything was awry until 1 heard a fusillade of pistol shots. Some cop at the curb thought frenchy s Possum was a pit Bull. Maybe next time. Miss manners creates personal computer etiquette. _., l. To pm rate Dir Tab if Unn hip More than one by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear lbs manners i am using my Pennal computer More and More for bushmen correspondence. Often in business it n Nenuard to lend copies of letter to people other than Mihok add Reed. Standard practice it to Type the original and sign it and then photocopy it to Send to Lorwn. Hating their names on the Oriental. Copies of the Rigi Turc then appear on each Theel. With a personal computer and attacked Printer however the pro a of photocopying can be eliminated Itoe the computer can generate multiple original documents. Which Copin Don one in Gnu i am not Confor table int All copter a it nay appear to the Dpt anti of Copin that i placed the wrong name a a Andreu at the lop of the letter. Vet it Loolu Nunn Kuhnl to limply leave the space Lor my i nature Blank. Gintle reaoe1 of Good Jyh Opportunity to make an entirely new Rule of Eli Quethel miss manners spends so much time reminding people of the same old rules of Courtesy thai she is delighted to attack a fresh problem. Thank you. Very truly yours oops. She forgot to answer the question. Miss manners Voles for the Blank signature space which is startling enough to Alert Hose who had t paid attention to the name and address at the top Hal the letter is a copy. In addition to prevent it looking like mis addressed mail she suggests circling the recipient s name on the cd list in Ink. Dear miss manners my Mother in Law baby Iii for my Sisler in by while the goes out to wort. Mom sleeps there during to week to help out. Sii kids stay with her on weekend and Are treated to movie toys rulings trip to Vermont rec. We pay Lor baby listen of our own. Our kid j Tuy with her once a year on their birthdays our kids wonder Why they Are treated differently. We wonder Loo. No discussion ii possible Tince Tiivi disparity it never acknowledged and hotly contested in inferred. What it the proper response to Chi obviously hurtful behaviour toward or children whom in Iron of Othen Jiey pretend to love should we be expected to attend or Hod family functions � second Tau in Benl would it be improper to confront this although it Fem a no win ritual int gentle Reader if you have mor tha on child you Are no doubt tires Mely familiar with the declaration no fair you gave her More than you gave Mel or he always gets the Best piece you love him More than you love me do not attempt to use versions of this on your Mother in Law. Your children would overhear and it would encourage them to keep it up forever. If your sister in Law is this lady s daughter she is closer to her because your Mother in Law is her Mother. That is not to say that your Mother in Law should not have made an Effort to receive you graciously As another daughter. Complaining about attentions to others and neglect of oneself rarely arouses affectionate warmth. Nor do confrontations in which manifestations of love Are demanded As a right and measured by contrast with those Hal Are freely Given. Bui the enthusiastic offer of warmth from one s descendants is almost always Ines stable. Miss manners is confident you and yours would soon be family favourites if you were to invite your Mother in Law to visit often with you and yours rather than to think in lems of her baby sitting potential to encourage your children to approach her with their interests ideas and achievements rather than to stand by Hurt while their cousins enjoy their grandmother s attention and to show family feeling by being would rather than competitive Aboul your nieces and nephews achievements. Striph mtg Thiot of luf 20, 1h7