European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 10, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns candidates know when it s Best to confess by Dave Barry my fellow americans 5�imi� la president of i i United slates so k Market i rash has reverberated around a world setting uncontrollably Thain reaction of Boring newspaper for Ticic in. nol his own television show. Kim pm has taken in appointing people Virlum Tii drown it"1 president us Lynnn . Not thai t .1111 Grilii 1, inh him. I .1111 f Mii maj Impi Fudy these Days Jim Luse that is .1 a Dink presidential contender i will be subjected to intense Media m Mutiny into i lurid details i my i in lilt1. Please Lun l try to Lel me you Don t want id a nov i he lurid details of my personal life. Don t Tell i you wish the Media would focus Fin the issues. I have been around Long enough to know whirl Plumi Jill the in my on. In pee elfin l Rorant in Irir it ten ind to their in Turki is Iti a Dirl you 5 a if Story i whirl he it Pui Juk in pro Crin Tumperi on the i Stu of tuition Tii tits no whal Puoplo Siviy is his i i you rim j where Pierre s. I Pont in was onct1 ample to in Sli i ins brits Sigel cd Rii preceding a is ii purely t .v.i/np/t1 of the Kinta n twill i Vail Hiti people Tike la Ilia us in the . / i sri o stress ?.il, of the Besl now Erfe or. Rhu or of never err Jere sick of Healing a Brm Siw. As far ,15 / a nov i grit clean 3w, with it the result of this intense Media scrutiny is he candidates have been scurrying around disclosing things about theist let s Lifford the press finds out Boul them. This resulted in some very inspirational oratory master of ceremonies inc Lutu men. Chr Rel if Lulf United slate crowd candid at you t used to smoke of crowd Ipp Liisi l a Ini hit i fit or a inc audit in "1 if per Core admitted hey used , although they Tell stress i in i Lon i Limin find 2 they deeply i Gri t it. This second part is very important because is the former hippie Gene lion 99s Evev p0som wh01top w1mg the -&0s 6 Skrep from Ywuc life taplits Over the world i will become very difficult to find my politics in who hide l at least iry , so the rid id ,1 it s will have to compete on the of who liked in the truce Babbitt for president i it1 Only had four Tokes or vote for Albirt Core he tried it by threw up As .1 , i i must Tome clean about my own past before some Nosy reporter locates the Skeleton in my Zlosel and lets the Tat out of the Apple tart thus spilling if Crins 71 s i did drink Tomk Hiir i in Riv v f a very Al of. Thu by r, n i offer is t justify Ali i of a j. I iin1 Hilkin Nihoul Lisco Luu in a i i Coily Fin Tifis nid i , Ih i Ilkiw much Quiri Inu Rily. F hopi you. Ifii1 Vitt Row to lint a in i our Lumels or forivt1 mi1 find Simid mt1 liar a Tosh in ossthtinm1 f Rbt int it hitch Levi let jural jobs. It still i few twin wants to soothe sister s ruffled feathers by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i am a 16-Ycar-old twin but my Lister and i Are very Lerchl. I know Ihal sounds weird but it � True. She is extremely ten Siplive and Lovei Ballet for instance. I think Ballel is Loo girlish and i love to work in my dad s garage. My Siller his been going steady for Over a year with a boy she Lovei More than inc world and they arc very serious. But recently her Boyfriend made a Patt at me while my Tisler was out of the room. 1 was shocked. To top it Alt off he hid he loves me. A i was funding there like a Zombie in disbelief he leaned Over and kissed me. Out of nowhere my sister walked in and started crying. She does t believe a word i by when i Tell her i m not interested in her Boyfriend. What should idol gentle Reader miss manners supposes that you Don i want to pull the twin s trick of claiming Ihal he mistook you for Hec no after 16 years t Here probably in t any version of that old standby that her one of you would fall for. First firmly it la him nol just your sister thai you Are nol interested. If you allow his advances now Yau cannot claim that he look you by Surprise. Then it tactful explanation in your Sisler can be that his behaviour was obviously designed to annoy her rather than to please you. However objectionable May be., it re establishes her As the object of his it tension which will be .1 Comfort to her and take the focus away from you. Dear miss manners every year my husband s brother and his wife come from England to stay with us for a few weeks. I Don l mind having them but they arc Messy leaving teacups All Over dirty Nisliet in inc link and crumbs everywhere. With a Small apartment it shows. We also have a Nice but fragile Glass Coffee table that they keep putting their feet on. The first time i was shocked and did t know what to say. Then we asked them not to but they still do. My husband has several friends who come Over and do the same thins. How do i tactfully Tell them to keep their feel off inc table and Dean up their messes gentle Reader As they come very year and you have friends with the same habit perhaps in is time for you to invest in a foot Locri. Perhaps some floor cushions would do. Each Lime feet Are put on the table jump up cry hospitably of you can t be comfortable like that he Able will just crack. Lei me give you easy As it is to ignore a general instruction i is nearly impassible to remain comfortably lounging a while the hostess is hovering by claiming to help. Ii is leis easy to ask House guests to clean up after themselves. You can Tell them cheerfully where the detergent is provided you do so in such a Way Aslo imply that you imagined they were too shy to ask and you can vacuum obtrusive by All around them. But you cannot assign them chores. Dear miss manners my Mother believes that a formal thank you note should be written Afler my children spend a weekend at her second Home a ranch. 1 feel that inc Young adults after warmly thanking their grandmother for asking hem have fulfilled the requirements of e Piquet be. Of All the people who were my Mother s weekend guests i am concerned Only about my children. Centie Reader besides teaching your children to please their grandmother rather la in themselves in such a trifling Mailer you should be grateful that they have such a grandmother. By holding them to a higher Standard than yours she is giving hem practice in manners that will stand them in Good Stead should they visit anyone else. People who entertain House guests do not weigh the enormous chore of writing a letter against that of cooking cleaning and entertaining people and decide that it is Loo much to ask. On the contrary they expect guests to be unable to restrain them serves from pouring out their grateful words on paper As Well As from their Mouths. If irk other guests Are your children s friends you should not be so unconcerned if you want the grandmother to continue to Welcome them. You cannot instruct them in manners but your children should be advised to Tell them politely their grandmother expects such a Courtesy. They will undoubtedly accompany this by pal runt ing remarks about her being old fashioned but never mind. However if the other guests Are her Ojhc-7 grandchildren your nieces and nephews Well let their parents worry about them. It Ipri Naji int Daft Mytr 10, f9s7
