European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 18, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                By Beth thames new York times e have always lived with animals. Goldfish. A Guinea pig. And cals. Mostly to have had cats. Cats have occupied our House like a Lurry foreign army Lor Yea s some just showed up and called our hot their5, Bui before this began to happen we thought you Nad to go Oul and got Ona on purpose. We did t know then what we in few now you can go them free. You can even drive across town and pick up entire litters irom grateful Ca owners. Don worry cat Landers. We arc not about to run out. Cats know this of courses which is Why they smile and Nap All the Lime. Cals tend to arrive at our House in pairs Limo dirty socks to one shows up hungry and to toed in another having heard through Thyl Cal Grapevine thai we arc open Lor business snows up the Noti Day. No of the children finds a Kitten by i to Side of the Road and i look up from my Book to see thai we have not one Cal but a Hall dozen and they have All been Given names found the Best napping places and shed their fur on the chair by the fireplace alter they begin to fed at Home after 1d minutes say they claw inc  room curtains and Spray cat Mush on or clothes. As the cat deputation grows i buy larger end larger bags of cat Lood. But in s the wrong kind and they refuse to eat it. They miss the her Box and the laundry room becomes the Hitler room. If our children behaved this Way we d put them on restriction. Ever by pulling a Cal on restrict pm As the Day grow Short our cats spend their afternoons lazing about together in Iho front Yard reminding Mool a Herd of very Small sheep. They Cash into the House at Lush making huge circles around the living room until they Settle on a napping place did i mention that they Nap on my desk or on my husband s open newspaper. There. Now a Cal can gel some rest. Last year the children began to ask for a dog. They wanted something id play with something that would do More than he there. Absolutely not i said. We Don t need any More  i thought it was settled until my husband came Home with a jog. He said it was a real dog. Not Ono of those Yappy Little things wearing a sweater i looked at the Teal dog. She was a huge Irish seller Hal during the first Lew Days ate one leg Oil the love seat and chewed through the Telephone wire while our daughter was having a conversation i had threatened to do that for years. The dog also fell in desperate ova Wilh All five of our cats who spat at her and tried to claw her Noso from her led lace. At night she insisted on sleeping in our bed her big head on my Pillow and her Long legs stretched Oul across the Quill. By Day she made puddles on the rugs and chewed up toy soldiers. The children named her Mary alter their favorite aunt who did t act a bit Ike that. Mary Tan. J Don t mean a Little i mean like a dog possessed. She ran marathons up and Down our Back Yard and All Over the Park and Clown the nature rails on the mountains above our town. She ran with a passion Lew athletes possess. The veterinarian said it was Normal. Sellers irks to run he said. He also gave her shots recommended an obedience school and said she would need to take heart worm Pius these pills Are pretty  i said. How Long do you think she u Nave to Lake them for the res of her Lite he said. Mary not Only Cost a lot to keep up but also seemed to need a lot of attention. All the Lime. When we came Home from work or shopping she wanted us id spend Lime with Ner Quality Lime. It was t enough to Pat her absently on he head and say hello. No we had to get Down in her lace talk in a High silly voice and say things like. How is this Doggie today 1 Leel silly my husband said As Mary gnawed on his Paris leg. In s like having a baby in the House  you made your bed i told him. And a dog s lying in in he said sadly. We found hat we did t know How to train a dog since we were accustomed to Ess. Who do whatever Lay please. Sill we d say to Mary in a Misqua toasty kind of Way. She d ust look at us adoringly and go on chewing in a Slipper. Let s pc it my husband said one evening. We re cat people we Don 1 know a thing about  he was right and we knew it. Mary knew it Loo. The next Day my husband took her to our veterinarian who hauled her Oul to his Parent s farm in the country. I spent All afternoon moping around the Kitchen thinking of Mary s liquid Brown eyes and feeling guilty until i found the Joy of cooking. Someone had knocked in to the floor and had eaten the entire shellfish Section. By old Altemoos after vacuuming the Tang Rod hairs out of the rugs Felt much belter. Trie cals sensing a change began to Drill into the Yard again Asil irom some Distant pasture then the oldest meanest of Thorn sauntered into the House doing me a big favor end stretched out on my work table. There. Now a cat can get Somo rest. Erma Bombeck there Are about 2 million children