European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 16, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes islanders Page 11 letters dear Ann Landers two years Ngo i married a Man i really loved. We went to Gether for tour Yean and had great fun. Hit parcels adored me. My parents tolerated him. Mom and dad both told me that they doubted his ability to sustain a Loving relationship. I should have listened. What was once a warm and intimate love Altair has become a cold War. There is no longer any hug Ging cuddling or kissing. We never talk Aboul the interesting things that Hap pen during the Day. We Don t argue playfully about politics anymore. He never Calls me Al work to say i. I m thinking Aboul you 1 still iry to do these things but he has started to ignore me. Ann it Breaks my heart to admit this but he turns his Back when i m talking to him. Two Days ago 1 wrote him a 10-Page letter about my Teulings of frustration. I begged him to consider marriage counselling. In the last paragraph i said my heart is so heavy with sadness Al what we have be come. Don t you miss the love we shared when we first married the closeness we Felt when we dated let s go 10 see a priest together or perhaps a marriage coun Selor. We must turn this around before it s Loo  he did not respond. Ann i love this Man and want desperately to have his children. I Don t want our marriage to end but i just can l stand his coldness. He seems to enjoy me when we arc with friends and family but he rebuffs me when we arc alone. Have you Ever heard of anything like this what should i do teardrops i Shreveport dear Shreveport obviously something has none haywire and you need to understand Why. Same possibilities Worth exploring t he is afraid of intimacy and is trying to distance himself or 2 there is another woman. Joint counselling would be Ideal. If he refuses go alone. You Are sure to gain some insight. Ultimately you May have to ask yourself that Well known Ann Landers question Are you better off with him or without him dear Ann Landers last night 1 was invited by friends to a chinese restaurant. The meal was excellent but there was barely enough food for the four of us. When it was time to leave my hostess handed her son j5q and sent him to pay the Bill. When he boy returned with Only is she assumed thai the lip had been deducted from the $50 and we left. Just As we were gelling into the car our waiter came out and asked if something were wrong with the serv ice. My hostess replied no it was  he then said i did t find anything left for me on the  my hostess was embarrassed and reached into her purse and gave him a is Bill which 1 noticed was All she had. Instead of saying. Thank you the Waller said. The Bill was $49" i always thought to lip was Given at the discretion of the customer. Please comment. Nonplussed in Calif. Dear  today a lip of is or 20 percent is considered appropriate but no Patron is obligated to tip if he does t feet like it. In this ease there was clearly a misunderstanding but under no circumstances is it acceptable for a Waller to follow a customer outside and my for a tip. That move was definitely  ask chinese person Tor translation quarters cleaning policy explained we were so excited to find out thai we no longer had to clean our quarters for inspection. It would save us Lime to Clear save us time looking for a hotel hat would take four children under five years old and save us anxiety that it would t be clean enough. But now we arc angry As our moving Date approaches and we Walch others around us Clearing their quart ers. If we Aren t Able to Wash Marks off the Wall we will have to paint we get no temporary lodging allowance la to get into a hotel to House the children while we paint we be washed the Walls and the paint comes off. It in t our harsh detergents or rough scrubbing that makes it come off it s happened to everyone we be asked who have washed Walls. Through sources we be discovered that the paint on our Walls and the paint handed out at self help is Lead based i will not allow my children to be subjected to the fumes while painting. Bui will we get la probably not. And we have to clean the stove refrigerator Bath room sweep the floors and clean All the shelves dust ing and washing them. What docs the cleaning team have left to do Wash windows mop the floors and Dusl Light fixtures. Gee for the la we could do that who will help answer our questions is there on option of doing it All ourselves and having la in Stead of forfeiting it and still doing 90 percent of the work ourselves is Lead based paint used because it s cheaper even though we re overseas Don t safely regulations exist to keep our Home selves and children Safe what exactly does the cleaning team do Barbara Itra Frankfurt editor s note it. Col. John. T. When Berg director engineering and housing Frankfurt military Community replies contract cleaning of government quarters was implemented in the Frankfurt military Community As of oct 1. This program shifts the Burden of inspection Standard cleaning to a re Ternent contractor however to does not relieve the outgoing occupant from All responsibilities for cleaning or liability for damages. Occupants May be required to remove Marks from the Wall that a Recd fair Wear and tear they do not have to paint the Walls. The occupant May elect to Correct these damages under the self help program or to pay. We understand the problems with washing the Walli painted with Latex based paint. Yes there was Lead based paint in the system but no More. All paint issued from the self help Issue Point meets the Federal requirements pertaining to the Lead Content. Residents do not have to clean stoves refrigerators and bathrooms and Wash All the shelves. Families that have practice Good housekeeping habits and have cleaned their quarters and appliances on a regu Lar basis should have no problem Clearing quarters. Quarters have to be swept clean and must be free of All trash and miscellaneous items stoves and refrigerators must be free of excessive grease and dirt. The refrigerator must be defrosted. The toilet must be brushed out and be free of foreign matter. All personal items have to be removed from refrigerator cupboards closets and Medicine cabinets. The contractor is responsible to clean stoves refrigerators bathrooms windows Wash the shelves clean and Wax the floors and to accomplish All the other things necessary to ensure the new family can move into clean quarters. Current policy does not allow us to give the occupants the option to clean quarters and receive la. Spouse preference program discussed 1 recently read Allen Kalishman s response to questions Aboul spouse preference entitlements. It was All very informative until the last paragraph in which he stated thai the program is working in Safe. I strongly disagree with that statement and wish to present a different View. For one thing the program in some cases severely limits the review and consideration of the widest Range of qualified applicants. If spouse preference has been exercised or if the Benefit has expired because of the tenure limitations selecting officials Are limited to few applicants. Secondly civilian employees assigned to overseas positions now find Char. Their spouses do not have an Opportunity to obtain permanent employment. What rationale is used to justify this treatment on Small bases such As Iraklion As civilian opportunities Are just about Zero. If this policy was applied stateside i could see the Benefit because spouses could go outside the govern ment system to obtain employment but where Are they going logo in Greece lastly 1 would like to ask where has or. Kalishman obtained his information about the program working in Safe to my knowledge selecting officials base. Commanders employees the people involved have Dreux reunion planned reunion Pliny Art in Prog my Lor Drux am ricin High school Rote All lorm 1ludnl�nd faculty w9 ural bal to Conleu toil bar nil Winwright film port. 171105 Tell phone 31�ra�-jll�. Not been surveyed. Several employees managers and civilian personnel employees that i have talked with feet that the program has a lot of shortcomings. 1 think the shortcomings need to be identified and resolved before saying that it is working anywhere. Christopher f. Carney Iraklion As Crete editor s note Allen Kalishman chief. Employee entitlements and career management division directorate of civilian Perun Nel he us afe replies while we understand that the Tvr Iler is coming from a different perspective our statement that the program was working in Safe strictly pertained to the implementation procedures necessary to effect the require ments of the Public Law. The Law actually was intended to provide employment for military spouses relocating with their sponsors to a new duty location. In this respect. It is working the shortcomings identified by the Wriler Are certainty valid but my be considered in tight of the problems perceived by Congress precipitating the passage of the pub tic Law. We do agree with the writer however that implementation of military spouse preference to the exclusion of civilian spouses has created an inequity to the overseas area. Prior to the implementation of the program we voiced our concern thai in the overseas area civilian family members should continue to receive preference under the overseas dependent hire program As they had since 1972, but to no Avail we Are presently supporting a renewed initiative by Neucom to once again raise the Issue. Thank you for writing. We appreciate the Opportunity to address your questions on this subject. Niest Arsand Fries Majure Kominiski meet Phot or Kami b. Mcdermot production my Nigga Myrv Tang Edher a Rumul i rugs that own Piper ii an  Uno Fadil Pusc Iroff lot mime cart of till Jami Lay mfr Teri Vii Iii. Con fru of Tow Bun ind so Ftp in incl Onku Urov Thi  of. Or n4ont  u-8 gov Minuni i  ditto no or in . Europ in command. To in Punco Olad Yijin i Titi pub nation Hack Idaj Huni or . Do not com Tiltti  by v4 d9rimtnt or a unit or the to tint so Nett  or Union . Evi Irving id Enlil in thu up Weston  m rr4t Viln a 0 he Tuic. I. Or pal Mai wimm rogue to Riu Cota it con. 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