European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 15, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns or. Language person has All the answers by Dave Barry uni he tid tit to see by the Ingle of the Sun that in is Lime onto again i i t own the popular feature wherein we answer the common language related questions that we would probably get from our readers if they Ever sent us any. A what is the Correct use of the word hopefully i Don t wan to sound uneducated. A. Hopefully is Best used to Alert the Reader that the sentence says something bad will happen to Geraldo Rivera. For example hopefully Geraldo Rivera will be eaten by q. What Are the main grammatical Clement of a leniency this is a Homework question. A. The main elements Are the subject he Peri Wilur the adjutant the premonitions and the parts of speech or Larynx. For example in the sentence Louise frequently asked herself How Tome Duane owned ill them Halter tops the subject is How come Duane has so Many Halter lops incl could Iii mean thai he also has maybe stuck under his bed air in a Rosf to a pair of Black Patent k Alhi r pumps a in the song i cot around by the Beach boys what arc they singing in the chorus a or language person always thought they were singing i get around my kind of Icin i m a real Mol hip i a Cool trip which is Prelly stupid but not As stupid As mrs. Language person thought they were singing namely i gel around out of town i m a real Cool dude i m in a real Good but in turns out after actual research that the lyrics Are i get around from town to town i m a real Cool head i m Makin real Good these Are not of course the finest Benth boy lyrics Ever recorded. The finest Beach boy lyrics Ever Are from their classic car song custom machine which contains the following verse naugahyde bucket seals front and Back Check my custom machine everything is Chrome Man even my Jack Check my custom machine q. How come they never play that on the radio a. T Don t know. They should. Q. What Are the major american regional speech styles and could you please use this question As a basis for making vicious generalization a. The four Basic regional speech styles Are regular midwestern Southern and new York cily. The regular speech style 11, of course the style used by or. Language person himself. The midwestern speech style consists of saying you betcha and bowl n lot. The Southern speech style is based on the fact that a lot of people in the South Are still getting even for the civil War. When they re talking to Yankees they Start out using Recagni Able words so you la think they re talking English bul Ihen they suddenly Start to make sounds like two quarts of Gumbo sloshing Down a Drain but they pretend thai they re making perfect sense. Yall been whup they la ask. You say i beg your Pardon they say been porn again wid nose Halmin Lester so and then they la look Al you with polite expectancy until you feel like a Cretin which is the Point. A related Southern language prank is the pointless Rural expression. This is when the speaker supports his argument by using an expression thai allegedly originated among Rural agricultural people who Are supposed id have acquired vast quantities of Wisdom while Silling around d Isasi Embling pigs. Pointless Rural expressions of course Are particularly effective in political rhetoric. A Southern congressman arguing for an amendment to say the tax Laws will Tell the . House of representatives with a straight face you got to milk the Goat before you Groom the Turkey and All the big City Northern congressmen not wishing to appear out of touch with the people will nod their Heads in agreement. This is Why we end up with a lot of incomprehensible Federal policies. For example the rationale for the trillion Dollar strategic defense inti alive Consi Sils Enli Refy of the statement you can t stomp a Snake with both feet in the the new York City style of speech by contrast is extremely easy to understand because in consists of scouting and easy to decipher gestures. This style developed on the new York subway system which is noisy and very crowded so people have gotten into the habit of Yelling in the presence of total strangers. If two new yorkers have something to discuss in say a hotel lobby they la often move As far As 15 feel apart before they begin speaking. Harold one will Shoy causing startled Iowa tourists to Spring for the door in inking there must be a fire. Did you Goto the bathroom self yes 1 did comes the reply echoing through Distant ballrooms bul i m having some Gas a Why did Camptown ladies sing the song too Dah Doo Daht a. It was probably some kind of Luxor col a question Lor or. Language person write in Down. Send it in. And watch this space. Dealing with name droppers other problems by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i m .1 older woman who moves about a Good Deal both socially and geographically. There Are three social problems i be never been Able to solve satisfactorily. First what should be done about name droppers these people arrive at a gathering excited about having met some celebrity implying that nobody present would Ever have an Opportunity to meet such in exalted person. Or they drop the name of a place they believe is simply is too exotic expensive or exclusive for us to Hope to go there. What do i do if they Are speaking about an old Friend or a place i be often visited if i speak up they arc irritated because i be taken the wind out of their sails. If i keep quiet someone almost invariably brings out the facts later and the situation seems worse. Secondly what do i do at a Large round Able when the people on each Side of me get into prolonged conversations with those on their other sides it hardly seems a polite Lime to catch up on my Reading knitting or correspondence. Finally what should i do when on leaving a party someone i never met before announces loudly for All to hear i love you they can t possibly they be just met me. I m unwilling to Tell a boldfaced lie and say 1 love them too. I be tried things like arc l you a dear to say so but is is such a feeble return that it sometimes sounds like a slap. I m stumped. Gentle Reader whew this was a close one. Miss manners was just Aboul to burst out with an announcement that Shu loves you i of wanting to spare the feelings even of name droppers. Lest you either take miss manners literally or believe that she is telling a boldfaced lie she will control herself. But do allow her to dismiss the last problem by explaining Hal the comment is merely an effusive Way of saying i found you charming Anil that your reply is perfectly adequate. That eventually get their comeuppance is inevitable. The Only Choice is in How this is administered. By saying yes in t he charming or i m so glad you like it i have a Small collage there you at Leas warn them from further excesses. Miss manners tends however to prefer the alternative of saying nothing and letting them find out later. She is aware that by admitting this she reveals herself As less saintly than you. Dinner party isolation is indeed awkward and a justification for the unfortunately obsolescent custom of the hostess turning the Lable by speaking to the gentleman on one Side of her for half the dinner and the other for the rest thus creating a Domino effect around the table. Thai is not exactly what miss manners Means it it but the picture of All those people in Black and White falling on top of one another is too delicious to Correct without that you must simply insist upon entering one conversation or the other. Not doing so is unpleasant not Only for you bul for anyone who if helplessly observing your predicament. This is done by leaning into one of those two conversations until you can catch enough of the Drift to make a comment. Failing that you simply Lap someone and say with a smile May i join in dear miss manners this is a Small thing bul in has become quite an argument among my for lend. I say the Napkin should be placed on the Lap As soon As one sits Down Al the table when dining out. They say it should be done just before the meal it served. Gentle Reader one puts the Napkin on the Lap immediately upon Silling Dawn. Please Paw the word. The failure of people such As your friends to do us has led to indignity of wallers shaking out the client s napkins before they can gel to them dear miss manners my husband and i Are almost 70 years old and have been taking dance lessons. We enjoy this new Hobby and exercise. When we go to dances we see so Many widow and divorcees without partners. Should my husband be expected to dance with them i realize that would be the Graceloui thing to do but i Don t want to dance with any other men even if asked. So what started Ai a lot of fun has become a source of friction and after 50 years of marriage we Don t need Hal. We have almost decided to give up dancing. Gentle Reader that would be a shame. Perhaps if your wish is to socialize Only with each other you should give up going to dances where you know other people and confine your Hobby to nightclubs where you will be among strangers. Among friends in is customary to Exchange a number of dances. That is you and your husband May certainly have dances together but he should also ask and you should accept other partners. Miss manners wonder if the friction occurs because there Are More unattached ladies than gentlemen at these events and your husband s socializing Means thai you Are left without a partner More often than you would like. She would still recommend that you graciously socialize with the others to be Friendly to them while your husband lakes an occasional turn with one of the unescorted ladies. Surely in must occur to you that there but for the Grace of cod go you. To plumber 15, 1964 Tripet no Fine
