European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 19, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Ann tenders letters dear Ann Landers my Mother had a stroke six months ago. It left her paralysed on one Side. She needs constant care. Mom is in her late 60s and could live another 10 or 15 years. I am the Only daughter in the family which Means i m stuck with All the work. 1 have an 8-to-s Job so i hired a nurse to Sta with mom during the Day. I go to mom s House Nghi after work and spend the night there. I Haven t slept in my own Home Orwith my husband for six months. Our marriage is be ginning to feel the Strain. Our children Are in their teens and i should be Home for them but i feel that mom needs me More. I have three Brothers who refuse to do anything to help me. They drop in for an hour a week and Tell mom How Busy their lives Are. Not once have they offered to stay with her so i could spend some time with my family in my own Home. They say they can t do much for mom because they can t give her a Bath or take her to the bathroom. The weekends arc the worst. I m at mom s from Friday evening until i leave for work on monday. That s 60 hours straight. My Back arms shoulders and neck ache from lifting her in and out of her wheelchair. I would like to hire someone to stay with mom week ends so i could get some Relief but every time i men Tion it she  love my Mother and feel guilty that i m angry about this but i m afraid it s going to Cost me my Home and family. I Don t have anyone to talk to Ann. My husband is furious with me for not telling off my Brothers. The people i work with Don t want to hear about my problems. They have their own. Any advice exhausted and resentful dear exhausted and resentful your Story is a familiar one. No matter Huw Many children there Are in the family one always ends up where you arc. Your husband must be a Saint to put up with your living it your Mother s House for six months. Your first responsibility is to him and the children. 1 see two options 1. Find someone who can stay with your Mother from s . Until the nurse comes on duty in the morning. 2. Put your Mother in a nursing Home the Cost of which should be shared by you and your Brothers. Please discuss this with your Mother s doctor. He or she can help. Can your Church or your Mother s pro vide Volunteer Relief also talk to a social worker about counselling for yourself. You sound As if you Are running on empty dear. At the rate you Are going your Mother could outlive you dear Ann Landers you did a number on the fashion Industry awhile Back. Now will you kindly say something about the current hair styles for women the pressure to have out of this world crazy wild hair these Days has driven women to do the zanies things. They look like Savages. I have seen some gorgeous Heads of hair tortured frizzled crinkled scrunched and fuzzed out so that no comb could Possi Bly get through it. Why do women go for this nonsense please ask them. Vexed in a. Dearva 1 did ask them and this is what i was old the Savage look requires very Little care and it s differ  it s also a  to say i m doing my own  i think it s becoming no. Los Angeles times syndicated columnist Landeis welcomes your otters. You can write to  m care of the stars and stripes. Apo 09211, . Forces regulation covering Apo use discussed 1 would like to know just what regulation 65-1 is. You mention this regulation weekly in your classified Section. I have asked postal workers in Munich and i can not seem to get a consistent answer. I looked at Reg. 65-1 myself and i can not find anything in it that discusses the uses of a personal Apo Box. You say that it says you can not use your Apo address for commercial business. What is commercial most of us Over Here have military jobs. That is our reason to be Here. We Are not major corporations going to Send out thousands of letters a week. The Only explanation that made any sort of sense was that . Id card holders cannot Send mail through the Apo for non id card holders. But that still docs not explain commercial. Docs it mean mailing items for others for a profit in connection with this regulation i have heard of people wanting to sell vitamins and a line of greeting cards. They just wanted to sell to friends at work. A couple of months ago a Magazine addressed Home businesses that your spouse could operate at Home for spare income. All you needed was an on base permit to sell. This idea was presented to those spouses who always have to quit a Job when their husbands rotate. This was in a Magazine aimed at those of us overseas. So these people who want to make some income at Home do not know what to do. First you have a mag Azine distributed Here in Germany that says Home business is the  to go. But then you have a Post office that says your Apo address can not be used for commercial business. Some people argue that Reg. 65-1 Means you cannot order things through the mail to sell to German nation als. But if you want things to sell and have the proper on base permit you can order vitamins or greeting cards through your Apo address. After All it is an american Post office and we should have the same privileges As Normal stateside americans. We pay the same postage rates As stateside and should be allowed the same benefits but others say no the regulation says no Commer Cial mail at All. To them this Means you can Only receive personal letters. If this is the Case then we can not receive orders from Sears or . Penney because buying from them is a business transaction. The worst part of the whole argument is that some of us have actually read Reg. 65-1 and could not find anything that Ever addressed the Issue of Apo Box usage. I do not mean we just scanned the pages. No. We read through that whole big Book. There arc people who arc worried about ordering things through the mail because their order might be thought of As a business venture. This is ludicrous. But because of ignorance and inability to get a common answer As to the meaning of this regulation there arc people wondering if they arc in violation of it. Personally i just can not imagine  someone would be denied use of the . Mail even if they had business like Selling vitamins or greeting cards and used the mail to receive their shipments As Long As they Only sold to other americans. The postal clerks military receive their paychecks whether they handle one or 1,000 pieces of mail. The trucks run daily whether full or not. It Only seems natural that a Money making system like the Post office would appreciate All the business it could get. 3. Niehardt Munich West Germany editor s note staff sgt. Colleen v. Smith mall services no is. Army postal group Europe 1st personnel come he Usa eur replies thank Yon for taking time to write us concerning the regulation which governs the use of the military postal service. The stars and stripes was contacted and re Quested to remove the obsolete ar-65-1 listing from the classified Section. The regulation which governs the use of the military postal service is department of defense postal manual 4525.6-m, volume i. Appendix a of this regulation slates that individuals whether otherwise entitled in such sen ice or not May not use the military postal sen ice for business or commercial  in Thi Scase commercial refers to anything prepared or acting with emphasis on a lability profit or Success. Individuals who Are members of the military or Workin conjunction with the military have official Means by which to Send or receive correspondence or merchandise required in their official capacity. Individuals who use their personal or individual military address to conduct private businesses in which the intent is to provide a scalable item or advertise a business Are illegally using their military postal service. Also As you mentioned using the military postal service As an intermediary for someone who is not authorized military postal privileges is illegal. Family snapshots found privacy Bah Humbug along with my pictures Tom a stateside York photo lab i received a copy of pictures that wore not mine. The Amity is Black and apparently has two Young boys. The pictures Are of a trip to Phantasia land backyard scenes and pedal boating on a River. There Are numerous pictures of the bit Turg Bowling Alley if you Ere missing a sat of pictures and believe these to to yours please write to Angle Wagner hic v corps 0-4 Apo new York 09079 reunion planned Steve you Tito Heidelberg West Germany i can merely shake my head in dismay when i read of lobbying in Washington for More privacy for the military As being. Conducive to Good morale and Quality of life. " is april 15. I cannot recall us old timers being concerned about privacy when we roasted in 20-Man a huts in Dhahran no private Baths dug latrines in the Frozen Earth of Korea or suffered the cold in Una catch six Man tents when we opened Pitburg a. Barracks life camaraderie inspired teamwork and dispelled loneliness which in turn supported our morale. More privacy 1 can merely shake my head. Nam i suppose Well be lobbying for Donu lands to replace Field kitchens. Arthur j. Richenbach Vienna Austria pen pals i m 23 and and would Fike pen pals Sarah Grace to Raima Burgos St. A Bakaian negro Occidental. Philippines 1 would like Rny name to be place m your pen Pat column. I am 25 and enjoy running we a Hulitt ing going Tor Long walks and watching of mov ies. Pic Travis so red co 1/46tnlnl. Bon 422apo , by. 09091 i d like pen pals from a Over the won i am 23 Yean old. Attn Sylv Obeno St.ban.ld0 school. Inc. Mantu Ingan Bacolod City  european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in cruet it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commit Rvcker editor in Catiel Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor copulation manager this newspaper it in authorized unofficial publication Tor members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Sre not necessarily me Olli Cial views of. Or endorsed by the us government me deportment of Welense or Ine . European command. The appearance of advertising m this publication. Including inserts or supp agents. Does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense. A the Slars and stripes Oline products or services advertised Shan be made available Lor color Region , advertised in this publication Sha Purchase use or patronage without regard to race National origin age. Marital status physical Handicap political Al siltation or any other non Merit Lector of the purchaser user or Patron. Military address the stars and stripes. Apo 09211. International mail. The Slars and stripes. Postrach 11 1437. D-6too Darmstadt 11.Germany Tel Olms Helm civilian 06155 6010 ets 346-5741 or 348.5823. Telex 0419-332. Pelelas 06155-601376. New Vork Ollice room 401. 252 Sev Enon ave., new York 10001. Tel area code 212 620-3333. News bureaus Bremerhaven Germany City desk Telephone ets 34s-574i or 343-5623 or civilian 06155 601255. Kaiser8lautern, Germany Daryl Green. Deedee Arrington Doke. Building 2899. 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