European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 27, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Arm Landers dear Ann Landers i have been going with this Man i la Call him Rex Tor three years. I am a person who docs not enjoy arguing and will do anything to keep the peace. Rex enjoys a Good fight As he Calls  Mailer How hard i try to keep things on an even keel he Man Ages to gel me involved in a major Flap every three or fou Days. The reason i am writing is be cause i am always the one who has to apologize. This Burns me up because he is theone who starts the fight usually by finding fault with something i said or did and then i end up on my Knees  big Jerk to forgive me. Rex hangs up on me regularly when we talk on the phone. I am always calling him Back to find out what he s mad about. Last week i decided to talk to a therapist about our relationship. The therapist said that hanging up on me is Rex s Way of dealing with frustration and that i should accept it. The Man is giving me ulcers and i am not kidding. . Dear a you need two things a new therapist and a new Boyfriend. A person who hangs up the phone when he s angry snot dealing with the problem he is acting in an adolescent and rude manner. Tantrums should not be Toler ated. A competent therapist would not try to justify such behaviour. Unload Rex before he makes a nervous wreck out of you. No matter what you Are getting from the relation ship it s not Worth it. Dear Ann Landers my husband and i have been married for nine years. We have two daughters. During the fifth year of our marriage we separated and were apart is months. During that time we both became More responsible and did a lot of growing up. Last night i asked my husband How he would feel about getting remarried 911 our 10th anniversary. I m talking new rings a wedding gown a Tuxedo the whole bit. We would invite relatives and close friends. Of course we would request that no gifts be Given. Am i crazy my husband will agree if you say it s of. Pennsylvania dear Penn the word from Here is go for it Why not fresh starts Are All to the Good. Best wishes the second Lime around. Dear Ann Landers thank you for saying that people who turn every thing into a joke Ana trivialize substantive matters Are attempting to distance themselves from the problem. You said they Are perceived As Jovial when in reality they arc insecure and troubled. Please say something about people who laugh for no reason. I Don t mean an uproarious whoop. I m talking about a Little a a a at the beginning of a sentence in the Middle of a sentence and at the end of a sen tence for example a a a. How arc you an then of a a a i m just  two minutes later a a a Well yes a a my Mother is very  thanks for letting me unload a Pel Peeve. Confounded in Confluence  fluence what you describe is a speech pattern born of a Ner Vous habit the a a helps to relieve the tension. This habit usually starts in the teen years lasts a life time and is virtually impossible to overcome. Lot Angeles times syndicated columnist Landers Welcome your tetters. You on write 10 her i care of tin stars and so Ripe Apo 09211. . Forces letters explanation Given concerning shoplifting shoplifting in the commissaries is common done in the open yet ignored Why you see As customers a few shop they decide they arc hungry and cat a banana Plum a soda bottle of water Etc. Before they get through the counter and out the exit. If not customers it s the customers who give the item to their children. This is fraud waste and abuse. Fraud you obtain the item without paying for it waste you waste taxpayers yours and mine dollars for replacing the item and the higher costs on items abuse you abuse your privilege of using the commissaries. It s time to put a Stop to this Type of shoplifting , i be seen and know of cameras to catch shoplift ers Etc. In a couple of commissaries. Why Aren t the people who Monitor these cameras taking More action to help Stop this problem name and location withheld editor s note col. Paul w. Phillips com Mander us. Army troop support Agency european commissary Region replies How right you arc. The practice you describe is called grazing in the grocery Industry but it s really just Plain and simple shoplifting. When caught offenders Are prosecuted to the full extent of the Law. In one recent incident a commissary shopper took Small package of cookies off the shelf ate the cookies while she shopped then crushed the empty package into a wad and hid it behind some canned goods. At the checkout counter she made no attempt to pay for the cookies even though their Cost was minuscule in Compa Rison to what she had in her shopping cart. When she exiled she was arrested by the military police. The re sult was a $50 Fine in Federal magistrate s court and the loss of commissary shopping privileges for six months a High Price to pay considering the cookies Price was Only 69 cents customers who Graze in the produce department or pilfer the meat department Are causing prices to in crease for everyone because managers of these depart ments Are required to make up their losses by adjusting their prices. Grocery department losses Are indemnified by sur charge funds. Surcharge Money is collected from customers each time they make a Purchase and is intended to be used for supplies such As bags required for the Day to Day operation of commissaries Purchase an maintenance of equipment and major construction costs. So every time someone shoplift from the commis sary it Means less surcharge Money is being returned to the customer in the form of improved facilities and serv ices. While feeding your child a 20-Ccnt Apple or helping yourself to a can of soda while you shop May seem insignificant it All adds up and Means higher prices an reduced services for All of us. Thank you so much for giving us the Opportunity to comment on this practice. Reader comments on teen Ager s death death like the deep universe is a secret under stood Only by god. And yet for those who have lived Long and left their special Mark on a part Ospur lives we perceive it to be their gentle Retreat into another and probably better world. It is a deserving Reward for having lived Well an for leaving behind All those wonderful and remark Able memories or so we would believe. But to sect strike Down the Young when silence is exchanged for a life just reaching its full charge of teen age excitement is to Sec death in its most treacherous and intolerable form. At least for me. My Nephew was just such a vital person. He was fun to be with owing to his Quick wit. His kind and gentle Bear nature his enjoyment of life int which like most teen agers he swam freely and without much care for direction. He was a Wres Tler unfortunately teen age groups often seek a special identity and his identity was with tobacco chewing along with others on his team. It seemed harmless enough. However just As he stood on the upper limits of Success As a student and wrestler he was hit by cancer and its implacable thirst for destruction. Fir the lost his upper pallet and Teeth then an Eye. And then. Well it continued its destruction of his body through surgery bit by bit As the months rolled on All but the spirit. Pen pals i am a 40-year-old Lai Peta cooking baking. Music and Ell me Good things in t from Southwest Africa living in Germany. I enjoy hot Doraphy. Swimming Reading listening to Good  ,. Lilo Serena Lottie Eaton co Wiemeler aufdertotimui2ia d4730 Paderborn. West go Many i wish to communicate with friends abroad. Nanette f. Barot Mana onion Sta. Catalpa. Neg of Oriental Philippines please publish my name so i can communicate to a Young  would like to make a thend from a faraway place. Josephine Abele c. Himang co passer s canteen Arenas building Pioneer ave. General Santos City. Mindanao Philippines. Few can watch with detach mint As a friendlies Inch by Inch and few can keep the tears Back. These tragedies you Sec Don t touch the victim alone we All become victims. My son. Scott known for his kindness and sensitivity was by Mutual Choice the person with whom Troy confided his deepest thoughts. Although it was a heavy Burden for Scott an deeply marked him for life he somehow managed 10 be the Good listener the close pal. And the person who cried along with Troy. Troy was Able to attend Many of the function that teen agers look for in that frenzied world that Only they understand. He always had a group of friends to be with but was no longer the Center of attention As before but As a lonely attachment tothe group. So listen closely my teen age friends when you hear the Well polished announcer comment on Tele vision that there is growing evidence that the chewing of tobacco can be linked with  think of that especially Nice person Troy and Don to mess with it. He would approve and you would take your first and most important step toward learning from Llic experience of Ollie. Name withheld Grafen Nohr West Germany customer service is Tough you May think that checking id cards and ratio cards is an easy Job not so. In fact customer service is one of the most stressful jobs in today s Job Market. Trying to please everyone is not easy. If customers would treat cafes employees the Way they expect to be treated then there would be a lot less heartache and hassle All the Way around remember cafes employees Are people too. Mrs. Ortrud a. Scholz Ankara Turkey the so european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook. Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Pm ruins. 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