European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 18, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers our Phi Beta Kappa son. Age i 22. Is living at Home and working in a department store until he decides on further schooling. I Neil is a pleasure to have around. He s a son any Parent would be proud of. Also working in the store is a 29-year-old woman who has an 8-Monlh-old child. She is Sepa rated and has filed for a divorce. Her husband by the Way is 21. She divorced a previous husband to marry him. For several months Neil has been coming Home from work later than usual and we have held supper for him. He has been Laic because he has been driving Home a co worker who lives on the other Side of town. We did t learn until recently that the co worker was this woman. I had assumed it was a Man i was upset last fall when Neil told me that he and Jill were going to Tennessee for four Days to watch the leaves turn. My husband said i was crazy that it was none of my business and to keep quiet. I Felt strongly that a 29-year-old married woman should not be encouraging a 22-year-old fellow and that the whole thing was immoral. I have not met Jill nor do i wish to until she is divorced. Both Neil and my husband think i am be having badly. Admit that i m unsure of myself and need some advice. What do you think Ohio Mother dear Ohio Mother i think you re fighting a losing Battle and if you Aren t careful you will dig yourself into a Hole that will be very hard to get out of. Granted the woman s history leaves much to be de sired and i can understand Why you Aren t crazy about your son s Choice but Here Are the facts. Today a woman who has filed for divorce is not considered married. Your refusal to meet her draws Battle lines that will make the eventual meeting strained and unpleasant. Your Best bet is to shift gears Mother. Reverse your strategy. Invite Jill to dinner and be gracious if it kills you. More than one 22-year-old has made a miserable marriage just to show mama or papa that he or she cannot be told what to do. The Bottom line is this it s your son s life and if he houses it up he will be the one to suffer the consequences. Dear Ann Landers i am tired of your -.exist, female chauvinist garbage and particularly by your biased position on dating. In your View All that is expected of the woman is that she be presentable reasonably pleasant and not let the Guy Lay a hand on her. The Man however is required to furnish the car the Gas. A gift Flowers the dinner undivided attention and treat her with respect. I have news for you lady. Women can t have it both ways and men should t put up with such one sided foolishness. Men Don t enjoy being taken for granted financially any More than women enjoy being taken for granted sexually. Women should be willing to pay for half of every thing or admit that they arc less than equal. Any female who has a problem with this in t Worth taking out. Liberated in mils. Dear lib maybe if you took the Dollar signs off your eyeballs you could see belter. These Days it s not uncommon for a woman to pick up half the Tab. 1 have no problem with that. You seem to think that if the Man pays the Tab this entitles him to Lay a hand on  it is this Atti tude that creates such labels As jerks and  c los Angeles times Syndicate and creators Syndicate Mommi Fri Mem a my met i hiring program is discussed by Reader i fail to Sec How the family member preference program adequately serves the military communities overseas. Most appropriated fund of and non appropriated fund Naf jobs arc open Only to people Al ready in the system and family members. We re perpetuating the Deadwood and often hiring less qualified people to fill positions. If a qualified person is not available the position stays unfilled or a less qualified family member is hired. Less qualified substandard personnel create substandard office and organization performance which ultimately hurts everyone. I base this on per Sonal experience on three different posts in West Germany. Often jobs go unfilled for Long periods of time not because there in t a marginally qualified family member available but because no family member wants to work the hours. A specific Case in Point there Are two photo labs which have been closed because no one wants to work other than 8-5 hours. Also the turnover rate is exceptionally High unacceptably so i believe. This is primarily because of the Fopp spouses rotate with . When a prospective employee arrives it takes up to a year to find a suitable Job. Positions then become vacant within a year the family member is getting ready to return stateside. And what about the Short timer s altitudes the government wastes Money continually training new people if people stayed longer at jobs maybe even productive Cross training could be accomplished i propose that All jobs be first opened to those within the system and family members. If directly qualified applicants cannot be identified within a reasonable time say two or three weeks then these positions should be opened to tourists. I believe our  would be better served by quickly filling openings and getting on with the productive work of a unit or organization. Maybe Gen. Crosbie Saint does t want to hear his pet program is not living up to his standards someone with a Little clout needs to Tell him. Check the statistics on the turnover rates and jobs that stay open for unrealistic time periods because they Are Only open to family members. Name and location withheld editor s note Carolyn while personnel staffing specialist civilian personnel division office of the Deputy chief of staff personnel he usar eur replies the writer questions the value of the family Mem Ber preference program in military communities Over seas and advocates the use of tourists to fill position vacancies. The family member preference program is designed to alleviate some of the Burden military Mem Bers and their families encounter due to relocation and very limited prospects for employment outside of United states government agencies. The writer Stales often jobs go unfilled for Long periods of time not because there in t a marginally qualified family member available but because no family member wants to work the  a recent review of How Long it takes to fill positions shows that in Usa eur it took an average of 42.8 Days in fill a position vacancy this average is based on 20,077 positions being fitted in a nine month period. Vacancies involving recruitment from sources in the Continental United states conus take the greatest length of time. Moving on the writer discusses the turnover rate. This Issue is of great concern to the Usa eur com Mander in chief. His concern prompted the establish ment of a Usa eur policy on stability of civilian assignments. The policy requires employees to remain in the same position a minimum of 24 months unless the immediate supervisor signs a letter of availability. The purpose is to reduce turnover mentioned by the writer and permits the employee to make significant contributions to the Mission and to fully develop before Tak ing another assignment. Finally the writer proposes hat All jobs by first opened to those within the system and family Mem  the writer s proposal is not significantly differ ent from current procedures. Selecting officials arc encouraged to consider candidates from various recruitment sources at the same time. When doing so the Only limitation is that As applicable within the particular source supervisors must comply with Veter an preference military spouse and family member preference rules. We would like pan pals i of allo or to wot id Milkat Oding Dona Gai Iego governor Somite Bacolod City Negros Occidental Philippines 6100 we would Wal to Anta to people m older coun tries Amain Vermai Mary Joy Takle blk 27, Paoi aum Village Bacolod City. Negros Occidental Philippines 6100 i am a 17-year-old boy t enjoy Redd no.  to try theater and listening to pop music t also like poems and pictures t will go to University next year. Oisin Kumcu akm Cilar Man.457tk.nou Adana Turkey we would like to Cone spend win people a l Over the world a Varna Ann Goroum riia a Mantilla blk. 20, Paula us Village Dac Tod Oty. Negros Occidental  i am 22 years old and i enjoy cooking collect ing intends and singing Lulie Alvena 2-a Yula s Park Bacolod City. Negros Occidental Philippines 6100 i am 39 years old and interested in cooking gardening House decoration sewing and collect ing Stamps coins and postcards. Abigail Jonas p 0 Don 5042 Shiloh Iii. 62269 i am a 23-year-ow roman Catholic who enjoys Reading Opol books singing dancing and sew ing Alona a Ferrogino 1074calmdagon Dumaguet City. Negros Oriental Philippines 6200 Lam 19 years old Ivy Lavarnia Job san Lander Cebu. Philippines 6448 i m 11 years old and interested in rap music Frank Yerchan Martin Luther sir. 4 5 Kiln 90. West Germany i am 19 years old Elvira s Tacang co Romeo Legaspi Laguna. Dumaguet City Philippines 6200 we would like pen pals Cesilia Telora. In Hendrietta Aboy. 17 add. Bunao. Dumaguet City Philippines we Are 18 years old and would like to write to other people Anna Lea Baliguat Ann Bolte Baliguat Rosario height subdivision Bacolod City. Philippines i am a 31-year-old filipino residing in saudi Arabia. Sala Huddy Torres ministry of put saudi telecoms to Box 43054 Riyadh 11561. Saudi a Abia i am 26 years old a roman Catholic and enjoy dancing singing Reading magazines and writing letters Tibulan. Negros Oriental Philippines these european edition cot. Leht e. Townsend Usan commander flit or in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips. Usan Deputy commander editor m chief Marie Komi Siciu meat Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authored Uno Trlcia publication for members of the Mmary services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not Neon erty the official views of. Or endorsed by. The . Government. The department of defense a the . European command. The appearance is of advertising in this publication. Including inserts or supplement a. Does not constitute endorsement by the department of a Lens or the Start and stripes of the products or services advertised. 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