European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 31, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The positive Side by Daniel Goleman new York times afar More positive image of Middle age is emerging from new research that goes beyond the midlife crisis to examine psychological growth during the 40s, 50s and 60s. Researchers Are finding that for Many Middle age is the most fruitful phase of life a Lime when intense preoccupations with marriage and career have faded and the inevitable deterioration of the body is yet to come. The positive slant on midlife stands in Stark contrast to earlier work by psychologists who had focused on the turmoil that often results when people pause in Middle age to re evaluate their lives. The emerging View of Middle age accommodates both sides while there is a reordering of priorities for most people in their 40s and 50s, that reassessment often leads to a More compassionate attitude a Richer emotional life and a deepening of personal relationships. New studies show for example a Sharp Rise in Peoples altruism at midlife a key sign of new priorities. Psychoanalysts now see this increased caring As the flowering in Middle age of emotional development that begins in childhood. Most people experience midlife mainly As a period of caring rather than crisis said John Pollack a Survey researcher with new world decisions in Princeton n.j., who conducted a National poll announced last month on attitudes toward Middle age. Quot it s a time when people look Forward to increasing closeness and compassion As opposed to say developing new relationships or making great career  not All researchers agree on what constitutes Middle age most of them think it is the years from 45 to 65, but others construe it to cover Ages 35 to 70. The Survey found that those responding were inclined to define Middle age in terms of life a landmarks rather than years. The Survey of 1,200 men and women found that the vast majority perceived Middle age As a time of intense deepening of relationships and acts of caring. For example 84 percent of americans agree that Quot at Middle age a person becomes More compassionate to the needs of others Quot and 89 percent see Middle age As a time of becoming closer to friends and family. The Survey results were announced by the american Board of family practice a professional organization for physicians in family practice which commissioned the study. The poll based on a National random Sample in the United states was conducted by Telephone in january and february 1989. The margin of sampling error was plus or minus 2 to 3 percentage Points. Many researchers see the findings As refining speculations by Erik Erikson dating to the 1950s, that Quot Genera Ivity Quot a concern with nurturing others or contributing to the general Well being is the hallmark of psychological growth in midlife. Those who did not find a Way to nurture or somehow contribute to the future were left in a state of psychological stagnation according to the theory. Although the theory was influential among psychoanalysts Only now Are researchers beginning to find scientific evidence of its Validity. In a study by Elizabeth Midlarsky a psychologist at the University of Detroit 1.380 people passing by in a shopping when does Wear ners on aging begins at 45 ends at 65, though some j As Early As 35 As ending Slaw i i a Anat Lonal opinion Pelt amp american a 00,wid tithe american Boardo family practice found a Strong consensus that tied Middle landmarks in Tuffe rather than years. A 0 signs of entering Middle age you think More about the past than about the future you done to recount be the names of new popular music groups on the radio a l�n9er strenuous axe Reimira last of your Chitren moves out 108 signs of leaving Middle age you feel too tired to participate in activities you enjoy Vou Start receiving social Security checks most of your friends have died you enter a nursing Home your children try to do everything for you _ a a. Source new world decisions mall were asked by a pregnant woman to donate to fight birth defects. There was a general increase in generosity with age the older the person the More Likely he or she was to donate. For example 52 percent of those 15 to 24 years old donated and 66 percent of those 25 to 34. But there was an even larger jump with Middle age for those 35 to 44, there was a 19-Point Rise in the percent who gave to 85 percent. The rate of giving hovered there through age 65. There was another 10 percent jump in the rates of giving among those 65 and Over. The study was published in last fall s Issue of psychology and aging. This quickening of generosity in Middle age fits observations by psychoanalysts who Are investigating emotional shifts during those years. Quot you find people doing things at 45 they just weren to bothering with before getting More concerned about other people Quot said or. George e. Vaillant a psychiatrist at Dartmouth medical school. Quot As one Man put it in my 20s i Learned to get along with my wife in my 30s to get ahead in my Job. In my 40s i worried about other people s  one of the few systematic studies t psychological development during Middle age is from research on 204 i from the Harvard classes of 1940 to is who continue to be assessed at Regul intervals since then. Vaillant Analysed data from the Harvard men to evaluate their psychological maturation. His analysis which spanned data from the menus College years to their 60s, examined the emotional defences each Man favored at different Points of life some defences such As handling anxiety by losing oneself in fantasy Are considered immature by psychoanalysis. The most mature reactions to anxiety and psychic conflict include humor creativity and altruism. As adolescents these men were twice As Likely to use immature defences As mature ones Vaillant found. As Young adults though the men were twice As Likely to use mature defences As immature ones. But by midlife they were four times More Likely to use mature defences. I m used to the men in the family watching football basketball Golf Tennis car racing and Bowling a tournaments on television. But i never figured fishing for a Spectator sport. Y enter the world of televised fishing. Early every a urday Nikorn no my husband dressed in jeans and a of he tvthf0at�?T positions himself in front of the to set with a thermos of hot Coffee and vicariously goes fishing. He lives his fantasy through a couple of Guys from Arkansas or Oklahoma with names such As Bubba or Roy. They look like Good old country boys and they sound like Good old country boys but their rods and reels Cost More than our first House. Vicarious fishing is a lot different from being there. To begin with the fishermen talk All the time. They say things like Quot i have a feeling you re Gonna need More than that 80-Pound test line Roy Quot or Quot ill Tell you the truth Bubba i never kissed a fish with bad  if my daddy had had them along with All that chatter he d have thrown them overboard after 10 minutes. They also stand up in the boat All the time and they never Wear life vests. But probably the most amazing thing they do is that every time they cast out a line a fish hits it and runs. I done to know How they do that. Most men sit for Days without a hit. Fishermen on television never catch anything Small and humiliating. Its almost As if they have an understanding with the fish. Quot done to even think of Swa lowing that Hook or you la never work this network  and they re Cool. They would t be caught dead whipping out the instamatic for a picture of them and their catch to put on the Christmas card. As with most sports there is always the replay. Alter we have just watched them land the fish we Are treated to 10 or 15 minutes of conversation telling us their strategy and How they Felt when the fish hit. I wondered How my dad who fished his brains out every weekend of his life would have Felt watching these shows. He had a big table set up in the bathroom where he made his own poles and lures. He crawled around the lawns and sloshed in streams gathering his own bait. He had a peeling Rowboat and never took along food or insect repellent. He just fished. Maybe that a Why he never had his own series. C 1990 Erma bomb och Page 16 a a a the stars and stripes saturday March 31,1990 a Donalyn Gross who counsels inmates with aids stands outside Somers state prison in Connecticut. Death Counselor to convicts with aids by Elizabeth Lightfoot associated press time loneliest disease in the world is probably aids and Donalyn Gross says there is no place lonelier than prison to die of it a away from family and friends shunned by other inmates. Since Gross began work at Somers state prison in Connecticut two years ago As a than apologist counselling inmates with aids she has watched 18 of her patients succumb to the disease. Quot dying of aids on the outside is one thing but dying in prison it s Tough. Its really Tough a Gross says. Gross who believes she is the Only death Counselor in a u s. Correctional facility spends her Days in the prison s chronic Ward otherwise known As the aids Ward with rapists murderers and drug dealers. She laughs cries and shares secrets with them trying to make death a Little less frightening. State prison officials estimate about 15 percent of the state s inmates carry the aids virus according to correction department spokesman Bill Flower. Gross a resident of Springfield mass., got her first exposure working with the dying when she volunteered at a nursing Home at age 15. A i remember a lot of people dying alone with no families Quot she says recalling one woman who would sit alone in her wheelchair Day after Day with no visitors. When the woman died Gross went to her funeral and was stunned to find a Church full of mourners. The woman did in fact have family and friends a they just weren to with her at the end. Gross has discovered its even More True of inmates at Somers Connecticut s Only maximum Security prison. Many of them were abandoned by their families before they became sick but when the symptoms of aids become pronounced even fewer people want to visit them. While the fear of contracting aids has made others shy away from aids patients Gross says it was acquired immune deficiency syndrome that Drew her to Somers in the first place. Quot id worked with cancer patients for 12 years and when aids came along t knew i wanted to get involved Quot she says. A i looked All Over the place and then someone suggested the  Massachusetts prison officials weren t responsive to the idea but Connecticut officials were willing to give her a try at Somers just Over the state line where she lives. She started As a Volunteer at Somers then was Given a contract. She now spends five Days a week at the prison and is on Call at All times. As devastating As cancer is Gross says aids is worse Quot cancer seems so much gentler than  Gross says an inmate enters the chronic Ward on the Brink of death. When he gets really bad he a taken to Saint Francis Hospital and medical Center in Hartford. After intense treatment he returns thinner and weaker but still alive waiting for the next onslaught. Quot the hard thing with something like aids is that it can go on for so Long Quot Gross says. Some inmates Are so afraid of the aids stigma that they deny they re sick even at the risk of not getting the new medical treatments known to help aids patients. On her Way to and through the Ward guards and inmates alike smile and wave. Upstairs five inmates were living in the nine bed Ward. Three were watching a sitcom on television. Two Lay in bed on the other end of the room uninterested one not unlike others Gross has worked with collects news articles on aids and devours All the literature he can find on the disease. Gross helps bringing in articles and videotapes. Recently she brought in a tape about the giant aids quilt for which people from All Over the United Stales have sewn panels in memory of someone they loved and lost to the disease. The video depressed some of the inmates but they discussed it and Feit better in the end. Gross tries to help the inmates come to terms with impending death without overwhelming them with gloom. Quot Well discuss funerals but i won t push  prison policy prevents inmates from being interviewed but a note Gross received from an inmate after he had been rushed to Saint Francis Hospital provided a glimpse into what her Friendship Means to them. Quot stay Here with me Quot he wrote. Quot i m scared and  the Petite 39-year-old redhead says she is not frightened by working with criminals. Quot people always say Aren t you afraid Quot she says. Quot some of the Guys i Don t even know what they re in Here for. In a not Here to judge. I m Here to give them some  nor is she worried about getting aids Hersell. Quot i sit on the bed and i give them Back rubs Quot Gross says. Quot i never Wear a mask. I Don t like to do that. It s like having the plague. Quot if i have a Cut on my hand and i m going to give someone a Back rub ill put a band Aid on it. If i m going to get it in a going to get  Gross credits Somers for being progressive enough to allow her to work with its dying inmates and Somers credits Gross for taking on the task. You depend on Rabbit ears reception then Avanti a not for for your you. To stars and stripes bookstores stars and stripes co Ludo o co o o cd co 111 0. E i co q z it co do 2 co bookstores it however if you currently or plan to receive satellite or Cable to transmission Avanti is the biweekly programming guide that will keep you one step ahead of the rest with their comprehensive program listings containing 36 of the most popular television channels available in Europe. With Avanti you la get listings for such channels As mtg Tele 5, sky one Rel plus lifestyle can bbl to Europe pro 7, super Channel to 5, film net 3sat, discovery and Many More. Also 10 of the 36 channels listed in Avanti ate broadcast in English. Now available for the first time at stars and stripes bookstores you la find the Avanti Issue for the period of 31 March -13 april available for $2.70 at a Bookstore near you. Stars and stripes bookstores stars and stripes bookstores