European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 06, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Joining world of cd is no simple matter last month. I joined civilization As Ekonov. It.1 made the big plunge. I bought a compact disc a a sent into my local sight and sound Center dodging children in mid Tan Trum covering my ears As a couple of patrons to Check out How much these speakers Crank i skimmed the Walls checking out the wares. Turntables. Stealth bombers televisions Hydrogen bombs they were All there. I waited for the better part of 2 i hours. 1 7 minutes when i was met by fast Yuri the local soviet spy stereo Salesman admin clerk. Fast Yuri and i went Way Back. He sold me my Bazooka 27-Inch to dual voltage of course a few months earlier. I knew he was a russian. Last time he tried to sell me some russian emblems. Fast Yuri raced up the aisle and greeted me. he said. My russian failed me. But the Best i could translate was either hello my american Friend. How is your television set holding up glad to hear it. How s the parents outstanding would you be interested in our stealth bomber Only $ 1 9.95 b Ilion. One buy Only or. Heilo. Sucker. Help my commission. Wanna buy a stealth bomber Well. Fast i said we meet again. I m looking for a cd player. Not too much but in the $19.95 soon i left the store with a Brand spanking new cd player. I broke the sound Barrier get Ting Home to Hook this thing up. After popping the packing material bubbles. I commenced to hooking. Mistake. You can t Hook up any electric appliance without consulting the user s manual. You will die a raving maniacal fool trying to get the coaxial hooked to the output thing a a Jing. Then what to do with the do Ohickey the whatchamacallit did t fit either. An eternity went by As i spliced sliced and diced the speaker wires. I hooked the player up and hit nothing. No sound. No "1 2 01 flashing in my face. Disgusted. I returned to fast Yuri s bargain basement at the sight and sound where i waited for the better part of 16 hours 52 min utes for someone to recognize my existence. Fast Yuri popped Over. he said which translates into either Welcome Back my american Friend. Can i help you or geez. Does t this Guy Ever leave i explained the problem and demanded a refund. No can do. He said. he said. Which translates into no wonder it won t work you big Dummy you need to Hook that baby into an integrated amplifier. We got one right Here. I la throw in a stealth bomber for s17.95 billion. No Money Down. App i bought the integrated amplifier whatever the Heck that is and returned Home. This time. I read the instructions which of course were printed in russian. Japanese and norwegian. Carefully i worked my Way through the jacks cables connections splices torque controls. The moment of truth came. I plugged it in. Lights. "12 01 a Hiss. A birr Rorm. A Ker Chak. Voila music blared from the speaker. I did it. Like Rocky Balboa running through the streets of Philadelphia. I ran through the House my arms pumping skyward the flying potato head Trot my Anthem. Setting the clock was the next obstacle. Manufacturers place these clocks in the machine for the purpose of driving customers Batty. You must take graduate classes to set the clock. I found out the hard Way. I tried everything. Kicking punching doodling switching. Noth ing worked. It was still 12 01 . At 3 30 in the morning. For a week it has perpetually been 12 01 . I will die at 12 01 . I just know it. Maybe i should be stuck with the stealth bomber. The instructions Are in English and the clock has been pre set. But i Don t care. I have a cd player. The world s troubles Are Over. Rob is a stars and stripes sports reporter. Feedback what do you like to do that we can put in the Magazine while on leave pfc. Juan Maldonado c co 11th signal in Darmstadt West Germany i cruise on my Bike motorcycle to the Odenwald and the mountains. They be got some magnificent roads around Here. Spec. Vickie Dilworth he co . Military Community activities Wiesbaden a West Germany i like to go Home on leave no other place. I will not take leave and stay in Germany there s nothing Here i want to see or do. Iselt. Dan Daley c Btry 6th in 41st Field arty rat 3rd inf div in Kitzinger West Germany i like to go to the Beach and lie around and do nothing. I had a blast in Yugoslavia. They re supposedly a communist country but i did t see any communism in action on the Beach. Roxann Lockhart married to a staff sergeant and lives in Furth West Germany travel. Now we re going to try to find someplace that we Haven t been. Well grab a tent and find a place preferably near a Beach or Lake. 2nd it. Tony Gibson 2nd in 9th Field artillery Schwabish pm find West Germany i d like to go to the gym and play basketball but 1 can t until my injury heals. I also like to listen to Nice music preferably jazz. Compiled by stars and stripes staff Page 4 sunday
