European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 28, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Ann Landers dear Ann Landers the letter you printed from a woman who had a five year affair with her Boss struck a nerve be cause i m a wife whose husband recently ended a Long term affair with a woman who worked for him. The writer says her Lover is a wonderful Man. What is so wonderful about a Man who would rather cheat on his wife than Deal honestly with her and try to work out their problems perhaps his wife is trying very hard to do All the things for him that you Are doing. You know he is lying to her. What makes you so sure that he in t lying to you too affairs Are never useful. They Are by their very nature destructive. I know because i raised our children alone. My husband had no emotional Reserve to help me. Only now do i see the damage caused by his abuse. He did t have to Deal with me or our children As Long As he was Able to escape to a cozy place and be with his secret bed partner. She was enabling him in his illness and i was an enabler too because i remained silent hoping and praying he would come to his senses. I should have raised hell Many years ago and forced his hand. With professional help we Are building a new and better marriage better than either of us dreamed possible. I am learning to Cope with the terrible Hurt and the deep sadness. I truly believe if people had any idea How much pain an affair can cause they would stay in their own Beds where they belong. Thanks Ann. God bless you and your work. Oregon dear Oregon i can add nothing to your letter. You said it All and thank you. Dear Ann Landers i am troubled by a behavioural problem that i have never seen in your column. I Hope you can help me. I am 64 years old and no youngster. The problem is that when my friends or family Tell me something sad i Start to laugh. I can t control it no matter How hard i try. I become embarrassed and know that i Embarrass others. I end up walking away because i Don t know what else to do. People must think i m crazy. My brother has been very ill with cancer but i m afraid to Telephone him because i know i la laugh when he tells me about himself. I Send letters and Flowers and get news of him from my Sisters. They Are aware of the reason i do not phone him. This strange behaviour started when i divorced my husband 10 years ago. I be been unable to establish another relationship because i laugh at the most inappropriate times which makes me seem Peculiar. I know something is wrong with me but i can t afford expensive psychiatric visits. Please Tell me what causes this Odd behaviour and what can be done about it. No laughing matter in Glendale  Glendale i dealt with this problem last year but apparently you missed it. Laughter and tears Are not far apart. I m sure you have seen people who laughed so hard they cried. It is possible that you have not worked through the grief Over your divorce. Laughter May be your Way of denying the pain. You really ought to see a professional not necessarily a psychiatrist. A competent therapist who is not an . Can help you. Good Luck. C creators Syndicate Page 11 letters availability of goods at cafes explained concerning your recent Story cd sales pushing up Peers use medium format cameras which cafes sold albums off cafes shelves i am not at All convinced for Many years. These Days however not Only  that this article really reflects what gaffs s anti pc App not nor a  cafes motives Are for trying to convince its captive audience that a albums Are on the Way out. No one doubts that most stereo buffs would rather have a cd than an up despite the substantially greater Cost. Not everything that is available on up is available on cd however and that should keep los around for a Long time. What is even More important though is the fact that most Long time stereo nuts have huge collections of up albums and top Quality turntables to play them on. And without a doubt most people would like to continue to have a Choice As to which medium they select when they buy canned music. No i think what cafes is doing is not so subtly preparing its customers for the Day when they will arbitrarily discontinue a fairly popular item because it s not Selling quite As Well As it used to or because a similar item is Selling slightly better. There have been a number of unhappy examples of this. In your article one cafes spokesman talks about the demise of the reel to reel tape. Fact is All major manufacturers of stereo components continue to make and Market top Quality reel to reel decks and any serious stereo Buff knows that reel to reel is the medium of Choice for making really top notch High Fidelity recordings. Despite this cafes has Long since discontinued pre recorded reel to reel tapes and lately it has become impossible to find even empty tapes. As far As i know one must go on the Economy or have some sent from the states. Same applies to 8-track tapes. For years cafes busily sold 8-track recorders players and pre recorded and empty tapes and during these years Many people built up huge libraries of 8-track tapes. Then one Day out of the Blue cafes suddenly stopped offering pre recorded tapes and not too Long after that no longer offered empty tapes for recording. Mind you there was still a demand there but probably someone perceived that cassettes were slightly ahead in popularity. Finally in the wonderful world of photography All j a a v f. Off to m. Rvs in i mostly. 1411 h Ivy the world knows that Many serious Amateur photog a Jority. Cafes not offer medium format cameras it is even impossible to buy a Roll of 120 or 220 film again the owner of a medium format camera is forced to go on the Economy or ask Mother to Send a couple of Rolls of film from the states. The Point of All this is Why does cafes persist in wanting to offer Only hot Sellers does no one at cafes perceive that one of their operating guidelines has got to be to offer As wide a variety of merchandise As possible if it is possible to buy a Roll of 120 film and an empty 8-track tape in a Little store in Central Nebraska could it not be possible to buy the Sam items in a Large cafes outlet to repeat i have a Hunch that the real list of the cd up article is that cafes will one Day soon simply announce that they arc no longer handling los. Jerald c. Kelsey Heidelberg West Germany editor s note master sat. Dayton p. Strick land customer relations he cafes Europe replies you re right. At some Point up records will no longer be sold in the Exchange. As for your 120 and 220 Roll film please visit your Exchange customer service coun Ter and ask them to pull out the Kodak Catalon and order you some film. While we try to offer As wide an assortment of Mer Chandise As possible one hard look around most of our stores will Tell you we Flat Don t have the space. Hot Sellers Are demanded by the majority of customers which Means us audiophiles and photography buffs Are usually left out in the cold. Fortunately there Are plenty of other places which specialize in these areas which Pecan turn to. As much As cafes would like to be All things to Al people in reality it s impossible. I m sorry i could t give you a More accommodating answer but technological advances create new demands from customers and it s very hard to hang on to the old tried and True and still meet the demands of he a policy explained on shipping new pos i have never written a letter to the editor of any paper but i feel i have to let others know what happened to my husband and me. In june of 1989 we purchased a Plymouth voyager from military car sales. The salesperson assured us that upon moving Back to the United states that their company would ship Pur Van Back free of charge. That was the main incentive to Purchase the Van in Ger Many. Because of this Purchase we now have two cars. The military will Only ship one of our cars Back per pcs pen pals i am 27 years old. Conchita c. Via Edor Toboso Negros Occidental Philippines i am 26 years old and my interests Are pubs clubs discos Good food sight seeing and watching Rugby. Helen Lunn 21 Scafella Grove Platt Bridge Wigan Lancaster hire England i enjoy swimming going to pubs and nightclubs and socializing with friends. Kerry Jane Rush 39 James Street Boston Lincolnshire pe21 3rd, England orders. Upon receiving our orders 1 called the military car sales main office in Kronborg to find out what paperwork i needed to ship our Van Back. They told me they were sorry but the salesperson misinformed me of free vehicle shipment. They also went on to say that they have never had this service. My husband went to speak with the salesperson. All in All he said he was sorry that we misunderstood him. I Hope that other people out there who have been told the same Story will read this letter and allow them selves More time to plan for shipment expenses. Unfortunately we trusted this salesperson and did no save for the $700 fee to ship our Van Back. Staff sgt. And mrs. Sims Butzbach West Germany editor s note master sgt. Dayton p. Strick land customer relations he cafes Europe replies i m sorry for the misunderstanding. To guard against future misunderstandings the car companies have is sued a bulletin to ensure their agents take special care to explain that the customer must be eligible for free military shipping to have the car returned to the unite states at no Cost. Customers should review their shipping entitlements with their transportation officer prior to making a Pur Chase. European edition col. Gene e. Townsend Usan commander editor in chief to. Col. Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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