European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 29, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Lets dump for. Amp p4l Lane Gaby a finest columnist Etc Sall forget about the Senate and the House of representatives in fact lets get rid of them and have. The Council of seven this honorable Council of seven will take Over for our sen. Actors and representatives. There wont be any More filibustering no bribes to help a certain company get a government contract no pay raises of 50 percent and no vacations paid for by the taxpayer. We could All say goodbye to the mudslinging campaigns and the television commercials which arc mostly lies. Lets talk Money. A congressman a salary is outrageous plus their retirement pay is beyond making a comment on. This world cannot go on letting these people control out lives. The Council of seven will be set up like the supreme court but with  following changes. Each member must a serve a 20-year term for retire ment pay. A must fun 1 i Miles a year under a time limit relevant to age. A weigh in once a year twice a year if under 10 percent of maximum weight allowable. A member who exceed the Maximin us allowable weight standards will enter the Council of seven weight management program. Phase the vice president of the United states will weigh the member every month for one year. If member meets the established weight Standard the member will enter phase ii under phase ii the vice president will give diet counselling quarterly and weigh the member  six months i f nothing else this will give the vice president something to do a practice the highest standards of behaviour obedience and loyalty which basically Means acting the exact opposite of the congressmen who Are presently serving their term a and if i had it my Way their last term. A keep shoes shined at All times a must attend a class on sexual harassment chemical warfare alcohol and drug addiction every year. A always present a neat and clean image. I know this Story makes no sense whatsoever but if our elected leaders can make no sense and get those big paychecks then Why can to i with All my Little paychecks sol Lan Gaby is a a one to  36th Security Pailca so Pitburg a wast  request for help Russell Neevel guest columnist r is 0730 monday. I walk into the office Hung Over from the great weekend i had and the first words out of my co workers Mouth is a Russ come Here so l Ean Tell you about my new  i immediately set Down my jumbo Early Bird Sandwich two milks and the morning stars and stripes paper my breakfast for the past three months and proceed to his office thinking to myself a ooh boy Here comes another two hour Story about his fun filled  when i step into his office he immediately  How the a amps wants people to write stories and they wifi print the Best ones in the sunday Magazine. This literary team Effort succeeded where earlier columns failed. May peace reign once again in the Halls and offices of Pitburg a. Well As he was telling me this i started to think Quot so what is this new adventure Quot he then began Telli i g m e How i s ultimate goal was to write two or three stories a week until one was finally printed or until he pcs a in october so for the past two weeks every morning As i eat my jumbo Early Bird Sandwich and drink my two milks i get to read stories that he has written the night before. The stories Are about anything like being put on hold while ordering a pizza and being called to Wash his wife a Back. While i am Reading the Story he is looking Over my shoulder constantly asking a How is it a when i finish the Story i look up into a pair of questioning eyes and have to bite my Tongue to keep from telling him the truth to keep spirits up in the work area and say a it was Good a \ with a smile on his face he then proceeds to take the Story to everybody else in the office and they Tell him it was Good. He now has a smile that will last until the next morning when he will show up with another Story. I j u St want to thanks amps of r giving my co worker a new meaning for life even if of is at the expense of every one in the office and the guilty feeling we have about not being honest with him. But maybe just maybe,.we will see one of hts stories in sunday Magazine. He then would have a smile that would last until he left.   t a Small l. A avs la assigned to mo36lh Seiy Rily police so but thing a. Wast Germany. A nobody a Safe in the Trade wars ssi Ron Jensen stall writer the quickest remedy for homesickness is a Telephone Call to a Good Friend Back in the states. That a Why i found myself dealing the office number of a buddy in Denver recently. Hello May i speak to Joe Hart please. A emr. 1 Lari is no longer with  really ? where is he what happened a we traded him to an insurance company in s 0 u 1 h e n 1 c a i pc r n i a 1 traded him what do you mean Quot Well sir in a his supervisor a at least. 1 was his supervisor a and i figured those professional sports teams have a pretty Good thing going. They can Trade away employees for new employees a a filling needs and in the Progress improving their Overall  Well then what. Did we get for Joe it was a Good Deal. For one insurance adjuster we got two investigators and a claims Man. Joe was a Good one but we were top heavy with  this news of course shocked me. I had never heard of such a thing i called the school in downstate Illinois where a Mutual Friend teaches fifth Grade. He would want to know about this. Hello id like to speak to or. Blake please. A emr. Blake does t work Here. He has t for about two w  you re kidding i did no to know he was going to leave teaching. Quot of he a still teaching. We traded him to a school District  the Mississippi River. We got a Junior High music teacher and a Hall Monitor. We re Happy. In fact both schools Are  but we at do you mean you traded him i done to . A we you know or. Blake is a cubs fan. One Day he Vas discussing with the principal All of the bad deals made by the cubs Over the years. Hey who la Ever forget Lou Brock for Ernie something or other anyway the principal who needed somebody to teach music in Junior High got to thinking. Later that week Tom Blake was history around this place a i was stupefied. Immediately i called the Tulsa Tribune and asked for my Friend Don Stewart. A Don is gone. He works somewhere in West  done to Tell me he was traded a exactly. Hawk a you know we thought it was a pretty innovative  it seems to be catching on. We needed a really Good cop reporter know what i mean this Little daily in Texas needed a Good business reporter. We had a few talks and Well that was it. Would you like to talk to our new cop reporter Quot this was too much for me. I put my head Down on my desk to Ponder the craziness of it All. Just then the managing editor tapped me on the shoulder. He w As smiling. He told me i had been traded. From now on my byline will appear in some unit newspaper near the Fulda Gap. Stars and stripes will have somebody new filing negatives in the photo lab. Distressed by the news i called Home. Hello dad this is me. Hey listen in be got some incredible  is. U mom  s not you what Page 4 c sunday july 29, 1990